'Men are domestically abused more often than women'

This is a very serious political issue. For most women, it is also a very serious emotional issue. The OP addresses this issue from both angles as she raised this point with the man concerned from a political point of view and she clearly shows that it affected her on an emotional level when she states her need to "rant" about it. For someone to then talk about the issue in derogatory and casual slang terms such as "pissing contest" and "arse" and to phrase their questions in a deliberately casual style, "Any statistics?" is insensitive, to say the least, and an excellent example of how language is used to undermine women's concerns.

I think the basic point is that he shouldn't be throwing out statistics without being able to reference where he found them.

Re the call the cops point I would like to point out that the whole point of the report is that when DV victims contact the police about DV, they frequently get told to piss off (in effect). So whether women have a greater ability to report DV than men or not is moot to a certain extent.

Why does the data not include sexual assault or sexual violence?

I don't understand that.

Like I don't understand why when they work out what % of women in the UK have been sexually assaulted etc they ignore anything that happened to them before the age of 16.

It's all a bit weird.

Nothing stopping men setting up more of their own helplines as well. That's what women have done.

Could a male victim of domestic abuse call a helpline or domestic shelter? Oh yeah I forget they are all for women-only.

www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php.html

I always think it's helpful to get your basic facts right before you jump into a debate.

And I'd like to highlight this from the linked article, especially the first two points:

•The data does not differentiate between cases where there is one incident of physical conflict/abuse/violence or those where violence is repeated. If we look at the data for where there have been four or more incidents, then approximately 80% of victims are women

•The data does not differentiate between incidents where violence and abuse are used as systematic means of control and coercion and where they are not

•The data does not include sexual assault and sexual violence

•The data does not take account of the different levels of severity of abuse/violence, ‘gender symmetry’ is clustered at lower levels of violence

•The data does not take account of the impact of violence, whether the level of injury arising from the violence or the level of fear. Women are six times more likely to need medical attention for injuries resulting from violence and are much more likely to be afraid

•The data does not differentiate between acts of primary aggression and self-defence, approximately three quarters of violence committed by women is done in self-defence or is retaliatory.

Goligowu has registered here for shits n giggles.

I think its a little unfair to accuse gilogowu of being a troll - ok so she/he doesn't make their point very well but it absolutely IS an important factor and is likely to skew the statistics. One would hope the writers of these reports have factored this into their conclusions. But then for every man that doesn't report because he is embarrased there will be women who don't report because they are ashamed or terrified. I think it is very difficult to get a full picture just based on reported incidents in both genders as many many cases of DV and DA will go unreported. The sad fact is that we can probably add many more numbers, to both.

Don't rise to the trip trap nonsense of gilogowu

"I am so angry because I KNOW that is is not true."

How do you "know"? If a man is abused he can't exactly call the cops like a woman can can he? If he did he would either be arrested himself or ridiculed.

Could a male victim of domestic abuse call a helpline or domestic shelter? Oh yeah I forget they are all for women-only.

So, 624,000 men out of a sample of 2 million domestic abuse cases were abused by women. Is that 31 per cent? That is a lot of abused people. Any figures on how many women are abused in same-sex relationships?

What about education, class, race or other factors? Are there any significant characteristics of the abusers? Given the appalling treatment of abuse victims by the police, how many repeat offenders could have been convicted first time? Do we have a significant group of people who keep doing it, and keep getting away with it?

"HMIC said police received more than one million calls a year relating to domestic abuse and almost 58,000 victims - the vast majority of them women - were at risk of serious harm or murder."

When it got to the statistic that 1.2 million cases of abuses against women (domestic) were reported in AFAIK 2010-11 and 781k of abuses against men were reported

So, I make that to be roughly 60 per cent of cases against women, and 40 per cent against men.

Do any of these figures mention who the perpetrator was in these cases? Everything I've read says that women are abused by men, but that men are also abused by men they are in relationships with.

Again that is from the British Crime Survey. Which is not borne out by figures collected from police and if you read the link I posted you'd see why.

the man had no credentials

Shocking. And dangerous. I am glad that you are giving them detailed feedback.

There really is a gap in the market for decent training courses telling the facts in a coherent way not taking sides or letting bias interfere.

When it got to the statistic that 1.2 million cases of abuses against women (domestic) were reported in AFAIK 2010-11 and 781k of abuses against men were reported

So, I make that to be roughly 60 per cent of cases against women, and 40 per cent against men. If we really do want a pissing contest (and I don't personally), is that a massive skew? Is it so out of kilter that we need only concentrate on gender? What about economic factors? What about educational factors? What about intelligence? What about race? What about religion, or culture? How are these factors represented amongst the abusers?