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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

privilege and prostitution

282 replies

ezinma · 26/03/2014 15:15

Appearing in my social media today is one of those sharp and sassy thoughts for the day that I’m invited to approve by sharing. Where better to share it than here:

So, you are against prostitution. But you're an attractive person with a boyfriend. Who I assume you have sex with. That gives you privilege. Some people aren't so lucky. The only way they can get laid is by paying for it. Why do you think you have the right to experience one of life's fundamental experiences and others don't?

It’s from tumblr so we ought to make some allowances. Let’s, if we may, overlook the fact that I am a middle-aged frump with a civil partner; the debatable contention that sex, in and of itself, is one of life’s fundamental experiences; the erasure of women who aren’t “lucky” enough to have a boyfriend and whose right to A Fundamental Experience presumably requires them to seduce a partner using skills that cannot be withdrawn from a bank machine; and the regrettable (though now unavoidable) misuse of ‘privilege’ to refer to any old scenario where one group of people has a little bit more access to something than another group does. (Have I missed anything?)

What remains is the daring suggestion that a woman might be against prostitution because she is attractive. Since it's already well established that we fat old frumps are against prostitution — no glamorous john would waste his beer money on buying our flabby arses, and we are bitter about it! — then I’m left with only one conclusion: a woman’s attractiveness has no influence on her opinions about prostitution.

A lightbulb moment for me. Thanks, tumblr. Hmm

OP posts:
NeoFaust · 26/03/2014 16:41

I never believed I would ever have sex, because I'm autistic (aspie), ugly and charmless. It ate me up inside because on a fundamental level sex is the ultimate form of communication and empathy between two individuals. Even in non-procreational form it symbolises a connection to the continuation of the species, a profound act of recognition and acceptance.

I've never paid for it, because I thought that wouldn't be real; it would be an illusion of that powerful urge and no different from masturbation. Why pay for someone elses meaningless touch and concealed contempt?

But, now that I have actually had sex, I've changed my mind. Sex is powerful, beautiful and significant. Life without it is dark and hopeless. Even a little taste of such beauty can be enough to give hope and a dream of meaning; Even the tiniest touch. When I heard about the sex therapists and workers who specialise in providing this to those who are unlikely to ever find it otherwise I actually offered a little prayer from this cold atheist heart.

I don't know why feminists despise sex so much.

Baleno · 26/03/2014 16:31

Ezinma, that comment was aimed at somebody else, not you. There was no reason to take it personally. Everybody has different reasons to be for or against prostitution.

The point that the commenter was trying to make is that attractive people may not understand the difficulties that less attractive people may experience in attracting a mate, hence attractive people may not understand why less attractive people may behave in a different manner.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 26/03/2014 16:23

Newbie I think that no-one has a 'right' to a sex life.

vesuvia · 26/03/2014 16:16

newbieman1978 wrote - "What would be the feminist view on the prostutution aimed at disabled people?"

My view is that negative attitudes about disability should be eliminated to improve the chances of disabled people finding truly consensual sexual relationships with people who want to have sex with them without payment. Society should take this approach instead of trying to normalise, encourage, excuse or justify the buying of a prostitute's consent.

Keepithidden · 26/03/2014 15:47

Newbie - I think there's always been a cultural repulsion at the idea of disabled people enjoying sexual relations. There was a recent episode of "Call the midwife" (DW watches it!) about a Downs Syndrome couple who were split up because of a sexual relationship. I doubt it is unusual even now.

Get rid of that and the battle is almost won.

newbieman1978 · 26/03/2014 15:42

What would be the feminist view on the prostutution aimed at disabled people? I saw a very moving documentary on the subject and I have to say it did sway my view somewhat if only in that sort of specific case.

I don't know the figures off hand but disabled people have a far lower relationship rate than abled body people, many never experiencing any form of tangible sexual relationship.

dashoflime · 26/03/2014 15:22

I. Hate. Tumblr Angry

I weep for the youngsters who are attempting to reach a political analysis through discussion with other ignorant people on a micro blogging site.

It makes me feel really old. Even older than I felt the first time I heard music from my youth at a "nostalgia night." It makes me feel like the younger generation are an alien species that I can never reach or understand. How can they believe this nonsense?

Damn you tumblr!!!!

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