"Teaching men not to rape"

Buffy

I agree that the lessons that teach women 'how not to be raped' are putting the onus in the wrong place. However, it is my solid belief (derived from extensive conversation on the subject and being male) that the attempt to disassociate men from rape isn't some sort of shirking of responsibility for collective guilt - it's attempt to make clear to the world (and above all rapists) that they are NOT US.

Scallops believes that men and society create an acceptance of rapists - that rapists believe that they are tacitly supported by a silent majority of men. In truth (traditionally socialised)men have a violent, virulent hatred towards rapists - they get short shrift in jail, for example - because they have transgressed both the old, patriarchal rules for the acquisition of a mate and the modern values of equality.

So essentially, men are urgently striving, as a class, to ensure that being a rapist is seen as anathema to any acceptable concept of male-ness. They are trying to establish that rape is the responsibility of the rapist, not the victim and not anyone who happens to share the rapists gender. In this the well-meaning rape prevention education is a horrible error, but the feminist pressure to reintegrate 'rapist' into the collective 'male' is still a horrible evil.

But no one says this because they believe all men are rapists. It's pithy rhetoric which evolved in response to a number of police campaigns which centred on educating women on how not to get raped - don't drink too much, don't walk home alone, don't dress provocatively, etc. The phrase is simply intended to put the responsibility for the act back where it belongs - on the perpetrator, not the victim.

It is funny how naming a problem is so threatening isn't it Buffy?

"The attempt to conflate the attitudes of rapists with the attitudes of normal men is misandric bigotry, nothing more." And who is doing that? Unless of course you think that all men feel entitled to have sex with women?

Most rapes happen in the woman's home by someone they know. Most rapes are planned in advance. Opportunity isn't normally a problem. Rapists will create the opportunities.

And feminists aren't promoting a rape culture. Society, rapists, abusers and their attitudes are doing that quite nicely.

Men who rape do so because they feel entitled too.

I dispute this. Men who rape do so because they have the opportunity to take something they feel they are not otherwise entitled to. This opportunity could be offered by social expectation or a dark alley - the rapist knows they are a transgressor against the social laws of both men and women, so requires an environment that offers privacy for their crime.

The attempt to conflate the attitudes of rapists with the attitudes of normal men is misandric bigotry, nothing more.

Male attitudes to rape and consent certainly need clarifying, not least because the discourse on the subject has been exclusively from a feminist (and, lets face it, grossly misandric) viewpoint.

Whether or not there are issues to address will need to wait until data is available from non-biased sources.

For the moment, the promotion of a 'rape-culture' by certain feminist strands leads to a society where all consent is suspect; As a result, even if you have had consensual sex with a woman you are a rapist.

With this sort of attitude prevalent, it's impossible to resolve the issue.

Rape is the worst of crimes, not least for the divide it drives between men and women.

No it is not assumed that the natural state of men is as a rapist. Men who rape do so because they feel entitled too. It is that sense of entitlement that needs tackling. And that sense of entitlement is brought about by the culture in which they live.

Good.
I've never felt the urge myself. Just checking that I'm not the only one.

Male attitudes to rape/consent do need addressing.
I can't see how working towards that can be a negative.

It's the assumption that being a rapist is the natural state of men, but then, through the application of more evolved feminine programming, we can somehow not be.

I'm not a rapist, never have been, never will be, which is why I feel that promoting the idea that all men naturally are is evil. No more, no less.

"Do lots of women kill children?" Well 85,000 children a year in the UK are not murdered by women, no.

Imagine I was giving a lecture and said "We really need to teach women to stop killing children" Wouldn't have a problem with that. Although I would suggest that it would explore more the reasons around why women kill their children, in the same way that I would expect teaching men not to rape would explore the reasons they do.

"We really need to teach black people not to eat so much fried chicken" As far as I am aware eating fried chicken isn't illegal and any harm caused is to the person themselves. Oh and it is racist.

Do lots of women kill children?
Eating fried chicken is not akin to rape or murder