What would you say if your dh went to a lap dancing club?

Wow Lilly...

Are you on your period?

Sabrina I was thinking that, perhaps there is a loophole which states that if it's in the first post, GL is uninvokeable?

Brian was that directed at me? I'm not really sure. Just that this sort of place was common for socialising where I grew up, I always got on really well with the girls, and it was in general a good night out. Perhaps not the big deal it is here. In the places I have been I often end up chatting with the woman (and making friends and attending dance lessons!) and the whole pretend to be sexual thing is more than offset by the money. So it is an informed choice not born out of necessity.

That is not to say that all clubs are like this, I know they are not and it is very different in different cultures too.

There are some places however which do cross that line of the dancers having a choice, which I am uncomfortable in. Lap dancing clubs (the ones I choose to go to) have not crossed that line.

But I really don't want to get into a debate about the rights and wrongs of lap dancing. I have no interest in changing anyone's mind and my opinion is more convoluted then I have expressed here. Plus I am on holiday and brain has shut off.

I would be so so embarrassed to go one of those places or know H had been there.

To have to pay women to talk to you? How embarrassing and sad.

To pay women to dance for you? Cringe, cringe, cringe. How can they overlook the fact that she most likely finds you disgusting?

I see it as a desperate attempt to think as yourself as powerful and attractive when you are not. If you need to pay people to be nice to you then all that means is you have money...and are a sad lech.

That's before we get into the exploitation angle.

lilly Tut tut...if you tried a bit harder to keep your man happy, he wouldn't go to those places. Despite what you accuse, it's not our H's out seeking other women is it...it's yours. Hmm.

Riiiiight Lilly.... As you were op.

Dh has been to one on a stag do. I wasn't overly impressed with him but it was a one off and I trust him so that was that. We didn't bring it up again.

So long as he put it on expenses I wouldn't care.

LOL Lilly, pmsl - u so rite babe xxxx

Interesting, slithy - I wasn't aware of that take on it - an online discussion of the Third Reich or the Holocaust is pretty much an impossibility then

Wow Lilly that's a big change from babes xx

Why do you like them? What's appeal of seeing other women having to pretend to be sexual so they can get money from leering men?

I think it's both Sabrina

But I don't want the thread to end so I'm happy

Btw I quite like these sort of clubs and I'm neither cool nor a woman hater. And I'm quite a jealous little creep at times too.

I think the appeal for women is to show how 'cool' you are: ie. non-'prudish', edgy, non-jealous etc.

I think the poster who said that the men that go to these places, don't tend to be married to feminists has it about right.

I can spot a bloke who has a less-than-good attitude about women's equality at 20 paces - always have been able to. I married a bloke who sees men and women as equals. He sees women as humans - he wouldn't be remotely interested in women talking/dancing/stripping/doing sexual favours for him just because he paid them to.

Can someone tell me what the appeal is to go to a lapdancing club as a woman and not a sexist bloke.

Seems like the saddest place ever to me.

It's not about not wanting your Dp to ogle naked women. It's about having a Dp who hates women so much that he is prepared to give his support to these places. Or who is so think he doesn't realise how damaging and exploitative thy are.

I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who was either a woman hater or stupid.

I'd ask why the fuck I wasn't invited

slithy, you're allowed to mention Hitler's name in a thread. Godwins law is that sooner or later in an online discussion one side will call the other side Nazis/fascists - and then that side is considered to have lost the argument.

Oh dear, Godwin's law. Does that mean thread has ended?

How lovely to picture the poster's husband who celebated his 50th birthday in such an establishment. How many of the dancers were celebrating just such an anniversary, I wonder?

I'd also like to thank the poster who opened my eyes to the notion that "no opinions are wrong." Fancy that. How empowering. I always suspected that Hitler had been simply misunderstood.

No doubt that 's how all the nubile 21 year olds felt on the birthday evening, dancing for some lechy old codger heading into his 50s. Empowered.

I'd tell him to get out and never come back to. Going to letch over other naked women? Uhm no. Pack yer bags.

Oh, and I'm not a 'cool wife' in the slightest. It is going to sound a bit odd but I grew up (mid teens upwards) going to places like this and I quite like them, hence it doesn't bother me. Any form of touching would most certainly bother me.

Attendance wouldn't bother me but I would be unhappy if he had a dance

I'm glad I've got a DP who I know for a fact wouldn't do this. He's just not interested. Plus he wouldn't want to part with the money..