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Original poster

"It's different for girls" :-(

33 replies

HoneyDragon · 04/03/2014 10:07

Dd (4) smashed her chin on the bath on Thursday. By the time I got home dh had calmed her down and dressed it, as the bleeding had slowed down, I figured rather than risk it bleeding again by looking at, I'd take her into our local GP in the morning, rather than A&E 20 miles away at 9pm.

Checked in the morning, it was a lot wider than we'd realised it so took her in, and they steri stripped it together.

Had the dressing off today, and replaced. Nurses said it could've done with a stitch at the time, although as it was her chin the scar wouldn't be that visible.

I made the comment that we had similar with her brother and decided that a scar on his ear was probably better than the pain and distress having it stitched would cause, and that turned out ok.

That's when I got "well it's different for girls".

I KNOW it was a throw away comment. But I now feel like shit Sad

OP posts:
chattychattyboomba · 04/03/2014 10:33

In your position I would have done the same for my DD. Avoid distressing her if after weighing it up meant that she would only have a small scar. You sound like a loving mum. No one would think you had anything but her best interests at heart.

neiljames77 · 04/03/2014 10:32

Even with a stitch it could/would still leave a scar but she'd also have the distress and discomfort of having the stitch done.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 04/03/2014 10:25

I think it's got to me because it's MY daughter iykwim? So I'm not necessarily as sensible. It irritated me at the time, but then it made me feel bad .... As if I wasn't considering my daughters future by choosing not to put her through the stress of A&E and a stitch for something that clearly wasn't an emergency Hmm

I'm really quite cross at myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneyDragon · 04/03/2014 10:22

I think that's it Poledora. My head knows that it's pish, but I feel like I should have considered other people's perception of her gender.

It was a non issue. It still is a non issue. But now I feel bad because someones made me feel like it is an issue.

There is no logic to it what so ever. Especially over a small scar on a chin.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 04/03/2014 10:20

Exactly, do you think she's right?
Or do you still think that it was worth avoiding the stress and fear she might have felt at being stitched?
I'd be irritated rather than feeling like shit, you made a judgement call with your DD as the priority.

neiljames77 · 04/03/2014 10:19

You know what lads are like though. A lot of them would see a scar as a badge of honour, something to show their mates. It's nothing for you to feel bad about.

chattychattyboomba · 04/03/2014 10:18

My husband has a giant scar on his chin. He can grow hair over it. I couldn't. Plus it makes him look tough, like a pirate (aarrr)
I know it sounds like she was probably saying girls' appearance is more important 'to society' but maybe she might think you little girl will care more about a scar than your little boy would in the long run?
Bit of a generalisation. Don't get too upset over it. Lots of people have this old fashioned mentality. Just ignore.

Poledra · 04/03/2014 10:12

Why do you feel shit? Because other people value your daughter for her looks rather than herself?