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Original poster

Do you have a feminist son? Seems I do!

35 replies

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 05/02/2014 11:10

Surprising, as I am a "quiet" feminist, I think, we don't discuss feminism at the dinner table, I don't think. Maybe it is implied though? It is not something i wither on about.

Yet DS (only9) has pulled up his male PE teacher yesterday on telling the boys they were "running like a bunch of girls". He said: "Excuse me, but that is actually an offensive comment to girls. It offends me too". Teacher not amused. I guess it was a bit cheeky of him to backchat.

He is very vocal about the lack of proper strong female heroes in movies (the only fault he can find with his beloved Star Wars).

Despite peer pressure he is friends with girls as well as boys, as he says: "the difference between boys and girls is not important, it is important if someone is your friend. Whether they are a girl or boy is not relevant.".

He feels very strongly about this. I wonder where it comes from, it seems to come from within him, rather than environment (us).

Anyone else have a "naturally feminist son"?

OP posts:
Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 05/02/2014 12:26

DS (6) rages when anyone talks about 'girls toys' or 'boys toys'.
"They're toys for anybody," he insists. Makes me proud!

SinisterSal · 05/02/2014 11:59

Surely feminism is a strand of egalitarianism. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss him.

That's depressing about South America, Fiscal Cliff. I suppose it is easier to see things from the outside too though.

Suelford · 05/02/2014 11:39

Sounds like he's an egalitarian more than a feminist (even ignoring the whole "can men be feminists?" issue).

Original poster
FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 05/02/2014 11:31

living in South America for 10 years has made feel taking on the patriarchy is futile. Sexual harassment was just so ingrained, you were supposed to seek it, and invite it. As a woman, even if you were a lawyer or an engineer or a devoted SAHM, your main priority was to "look hot for your guy" and if he eventually strays, it is YOUR fault for ageing and not being "hot" at all times. It sort of numbed me.

OP posts:
Original poster
FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 05/02/2014 11:28

yes he does. He finds history lessons quite hard to swallow at times, and can be a bit tearful after learning about child labour and things like that.

He looks tough (big rugby playing lad), but is a big softy. Like his dad I guess!

Some people have a strong sense of justice, it is weird, as I used to have it, but i am ashamed to say it seems to have faded with age. I am not much of a fighter anymore, more an avoider.

OP posts:
RobinSparkles · 05/02/2014 11:26

Good for your son, Fiscal! Great that he spoke up to that teacher.

Maybe it was cheeky of him to backchat but grown ups aren't always right just because they're grown ups. However, if he said it how I read it then he wasn't being cheeky he was just stating a fact.

chocoluvva · 05/02/2014 11:25

DD's (17YO) friend tweeted that he felt "eternal guilt" for being a "young, white male".

I'd love to ask him what he meant, but I can't as I'd have to confess to reading his tweets. Blush

Does your DS have a strong sense of justice in general OP?

Good for him anyway.

SinisterSal · 05/02/2014 11:24

He sounds lovely FiscalCliff.

Original poster
FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 05/02/2014 11:20

yes, it is basically a simple "fairness" thing.

Same with racism or being anti-gay.

I guess that for children, the world is quite simple. Good or bad, black or white, fair or unfair.

And you cannot really explain the patriarchy, or racism or homophobia to a child, as the concepts just baffle them due to being inherently unfair.

It makes me realise how conditioned I, myself, have become of certain treatment of women. You almost accept it as you expect it, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
freyasnow · 05/02/2014 11:17

DS is 15.

DS: What is a feminist?
Me: Feminists are people who believe in women should be treated equally to men, which currently they are not, as you can see from the stuff you are revising for Geography.
DS: Then everyone should be a feminist.

This possibly comes back to the discussion on the other thread about the moral argument for feminism, where a poster has said that ultimately people believe in fairness or they don't.

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