Partner's wishes v. your independance, your views wanted...

I'd discuss it more with him, and find out why he was feeling insecure.

I would consider his feelings by reassuring him that he could fuck off with his "views" about how I spent my time.

No way would I be someone who said anything other than "Have a great time" when I was off out.

Does he express any other disapproving comments?

Sorry, but your partner is controlling and this is not an equal relationship.

"when does considering your partner's feelings become compromising our freedoms as equals?"

• When the result is that you don't have equal rights.
• When you are compromising who you are in order to placate them
• When you're compromising on something that isn't actually hurting anybody or doing any harm

As a rough guide, at least.

The problem as well, is that truly controlling people don't ever outright forbid their partners from doing things, they just make them feel so uncomfortable or guilty about doing it that it doesn't seem worth it any more. Therefore, they've managed to instil that control without appearing to have done anything wrong. But it IS wrong.

I would consider his feelings by reassuring him that you are not interested in male attention, and that if you receive any, you will handle it, as you presumably did before meeting him.

I would then tell him that you intend to go out with friends dancing etc for the rest of your life, because you enjoy it. Then ask him not to raise concerns about it again, because he will make your relaxation time into a point of conflict, which is not relaxing at all.

Tell him you will give his views some thought as you are shaking your ass on the dance floor.

DH has said he doesn't like the idea of me out late dancing, short party dress etc

If those are the kinds of views he thinks need to be aired, then he's clearly thinks his wishes matter more than your independence.

How do you feel knowing that someone who is supposed to love you doesn't like the idea of you having fun?

"Over My Dead Body"

The only answer to that is to ask him how he would like to produce his dead body. Knife? Poison? Rope? Then offer to fetch if for him.

So, when does considering your partner's feelings become compromising our freedoms as equals?

When they don't abide by the same principles. If you make a concession to his feelings now, but he doesn't do the same himself later, that's unequal. If you go out, even though he'd prefer it if you didn't, but later on prevent him from going out because you don't feel good about it, that's unequal.

If this is the first time this sort of conflict (trying to find a softer word, but can't) has arisen, you have the opportunity between the two of you to establish precedent for the future.

it is odd to me that men often suggest that "other men" are not to be trusted and yet fail to see that this could be applied to themselves as well.

i think it is a ruse to cover up the fact that they don't trust us. because the fact is that a million men could come on to me on an evening out and it is entirely my choice if I take them up on their offer. The control is in our hands (obviously in a consensual setting), so they simply don't trust the fact that we can look after ourselves and that we have a moral compass.

it seems to me that they honestly expect that we will simply fall into bed with the first person who compliments us or looks at our legs in a short skirt...

Either that or they think all men are not to be trusted and what does that say about how they feel about themselves.

WTF is 'invite male attention'? I imagine that you will probably will be the recipient of some male attention as most women in a night club will at some point. That doesn't mean you're inviting it, it just means night clubs are a place people go to hook up, among other things. Like drinking, dancing and having fun with their mates.

Do you express similar views when he goes out? I would have thought statistically he was at greater risk (of violence, rather than 'inviting female attention') than you are on a night out.

What do I think?
I think he should keep his caveman opinions to himself.

He's already compromising your freedom.

Does he go out? I can't believe he's worrying about you 'attracting male attention'