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Original poster

Slut Shaming/Common Sense whats the difference?

28 replies

HowlingTrap · 21/11/2013 14:25

That really, thought here is the best place to post this, as a query.
Came across a lot of posts on tumblr and Slut Shaming today , whilst some of it obvious, some of it less so.

What draws the line past pointing out obvious issues than can arrive of being promiscuous and Slut Shaming,

a) Sleeping around needs to be safe , risk your & other people Sexual Health,

B) Sleeping with attached people, if you are aware of the current existence of a partner IS wrong and you should be judged for it.

C) Although sexual assault is never a victims fault, v. young girls may not be able to cope with the response flirtatious behaviour can bring them, (if I articulated that right)

ETC , How much of that and other views people take as granted verge on Slut Shaming, I'm a bit confused.

bear in mind I'm a woman who grew up in a religious background so some stuff will perhaps not be as obvious to me, I'm aware there will be an iceberg affect to this.

OP posts:
BasilBabyEater · 21/11/2013 14:59

"a) Sleeping around needs to be safe , risk your & other people Sexual Health"

Yes obviously everyone should be responsible for their own sexual health. This needs to be applied equally to men and women.

"B) Sleeping with attached people, if you are aware of the current existence of a partner IS wrong and you should be judged for it."

It is even more wrong if you are the attached person. You're the one with the attachment. You should be judged more harshly if you are attached. But usually you are not, particularly if you are male.

"C) Although sexual assault is never a victims fault, v. young girls may not be able to cope with the response flirtatious behaviour can bring them, (if I articulated that right)"

Where to start with this one. A) Men know that very young girls may not be able to cope with an escalation of sexual behaviour and they therefore moderate their behaviour accordingly. B) young girls or anyone else, are not responsible for other people's response to them.

What response are we talking about here? Sexual desire? Kissing? Rape? Because everyone is responsible for their own sexual desire and this C) strikes me as being most on the victim-blaming spectrum with the pretence of being motherly (use of the word cope) etc. Young girls shouldn't have to cope with sexual assault, sexual assault is a crime and men shouldn't be subjecting anyone to it, young, old, able or unable to cope or anything else.

Original poster
HowlingTrap · 21/11/2013 14:52

I'm using the term in this context , not to someone personally.

Well its not meant to be aimed purely at women, the safe sex, cheating is applied both way's isn't it? Slut Shaming is used to insult women double standards etc thats why I phrased it why I did , apologies if it offended anyone.

I can Imagine a lot of mothers struggling with the second one, I wouldn't want my daughter out dressed like a lapdancer but consciously not to imply she is to blame for assault is a tricky line to tread.

OP posts:
scallopsrmissingAnyFucker · 21/11/2013 14:47

Can we stop using the phrase slut shaming for a start. No woman is a "slut".

Presumably this was aimed purely at women, not men. If so, it is all woman-blaming rubbish. All of them set up women (and girls too!) as the gatekeepers and responsible for sex. It is horrible misogynistic stuff.

a) Sleeping around needs to be safe , risk your & other people Sexual Health Yes but again why directed at women?

B) Sleeping with attached people, if you are aware of the current existence of a partner IS wrong and you should be judged for it. Interesting that they chose to look at those who are sleeping with cheating partners rather than the cheating partners themselves. Holding women to a different standard than men for a start. Examining female behaviour rather than male.

C) Although sexual assault is never a victims fault, v. young girls may not be able to cope with the response flirtatious behaviour can bring them, (if I articulated that right) So what they are saying is that girls are responsible for men's reactions. Men aren't responsible for their own reactions then?