Age of consent/average age to loose virginity, feminist issue?

Yet, parents don't generally seem so lax and "cool" about drug or alcohol use. Funny that. Anyone ever wonder why being "prudish" or "uptight" about sex is seen as the Worst Thing A Parent Can Be?

The US has homophobic laws around age of consent. We don't because gay teenagers in the UK took the UK government to human rights courts and won.

What has that got to do with a 14 year old having PIV sex in the UK?

worra well, unless you stay awake all night, you won't know they they aren't up to anything.

A 13/14/15 year old that wants to have sex will have sex. I don't think making sure they are are is facilitating or encouraging them.

I had sex at 14. My parents wouldn't have allowed it! But they didn't know. They didn't give me condoms. I was lucky the boy had some.

"Putting an age limit on it is restrictive and pointless."

I don't agree. It is a child protection issue

It's all so cool though, innit ?

I am open with my children, Alexa, what makes you think I am not ?

The difference is quite clear

I wouldn't let them sleep in the same bed with another child that they were likely to have sex with.

Let alone give them my blessing and a packet of condoms

This thread is actually making me feel sick

Is there such a thing as a child sex apologist? (genuine question) because that's what comes to mind when the parents of 13yr old children encourage a sexual relationship.

Teaching your children about the physical, emotional and contraceptive side to sex is one thing. That's sensible...to arm them with knowledge, protection and self confidence/self worth.

But this is just actively encouraging children to have a sexual relationship and I find that shocking.

Well the fact you DID actually wait and that your bf was also happy to wait for another year or two makes me think that you were indeed more mature than other girls at that age.

the problem is to find the balance between giving responsibility to a teenage girl for her body and evaluating how mature that teenager is re taking the decision to have sex at that age.
A LOT of teenagers who have sex at 14~16yo do regret it afterwards. They feel that they weren't ready and were only doing it 'to be part of a group' or 'not to look stupid'.
This is why there is a law. It's a way to say that teenage girls under 16yo are more like children than adults, still need guidance and can not take such a big decision on their own yet. So not an issue about taking away responsibility or the right to do what they want with their body. But the recognition they are probably not able to make an informed decision yet.

Maybe this is the same than with having a piercing or a surgical procedure. Until you are an 'adult' and can 'take decisions for yourself' you will rely on your parents/an adult to do it for you.

mist but how do you know that you know? Maybe, if you aren't open with your child and they know you'd disallow it, they'll pretend they Re just friends to allow the sleepover?

freya that's then case I refer to.

I'm asking you for a copy of 1. a copy of the law (which will be online on government websites) and 2. the CPS guidelines on how that is implemented.

worra from 5. So, at 13/14 you'd allow a sleepover? What's the difference

freya pardon? I'm 32, why?
What exactly are you asking me to back up? That a boy and a girl would be prosecuted differently if they slept with someone under 16 (and they were over)?

I'm also interested to know what this 15/18 year old case is. There is a very high profile case of a 15 year old girl and an 18 year old girl in the US where the parents pressed for prosecution even though the 15 year old didn't want to. There are a number of problems with the US having unequal homophobic age of consent laws, which I'm personally opposed to and have blogged about. It seems rather coincidental if there is an identical case happening in the UK right now.

Alexa, not in the inappropriate way you mean, no.

Right let's talk feminism.

IMHO a lot of this supposed
being "open" about sex - because anything else is being a prude
everything's ok as long as they use contraception,
you can't stop them

All it seems to lead to is teenage girls having to make themselves sexually available to boys and men at an ever younger age, often in relationships which are not equal and in which they bear far greater negative consequences.

For all the talk I see where the "cool" parents talk about contraception and are oh so open, I never see that they've discussed consent, boundaries, how to say no.

No wonder the NSPCC's study in 2009 found teenage girls had suffered very high levels of intimate partner violence.

Also another huge feminist issue is that women are encouraged to give far more of their time and mental energy to relationships with men then vice versa. All this "cool liberal" parenting" is doing is making this process happen from an ever younger age.

Why does a 13 year old child need a "loving relationship" with a boy? isn't there enough love and affection in her life already?

That's a radio one website article based at teenagers. It isn't a link to the actual law, which have been provided here on previous threads. I don't consider that to be backing up your claims at all. How old are you?

Do none of y'all let your 13/14 year old kids have sleepovers? Seriously?

Yes, with their friends from the age of about 5yrs old.

Why?

Do none of y'all let your 13/14 year old kids have sleepovers? Seriously?

For god sake freya.

Here you go, if you are too bloody lazy or pigheaded to be an 'unpaid research assistant then I will happily educate you here you go

The age at which a girl loses her virginity has nothing to do with feminism.

The circumstances in which she does so may have (but quite often may not).

Your mother gave you freedom to do something illegal not for feminist reason, but for anti-authoritarian reasons. Bucking the mainstream is not exclusively a feminist issue.

Oh and, personally, I think she was absolutely wrong to do so. 13, ffs!

What is this proliferation of threads about underage sex, taking of virginity, permissive parenting, boys and girls sleeping in the same bed etc etc all about ?

I can't understand it.

Oh, wait...

Better under my roof than elsewhere, is likely her mothers way of thinking.

And no one is asking about the boys parents; they were obviously happy to let him stay and had even less control as he was away from home.

I'd be more inclined to think two sets of parents knew the maturity level of their children than you do, hence I won't judge their decision.

It's not Feminism, at all.

It's choice gorn maaaad.

I am here to decide because I'm an adult and a 13 year old is a child.

There have been numerous threads on here about age of consent laws. The posts on here contradict previous links from previous threads. I was paraphrasing the CPS statement. If you have evidence of what you are saying, and can show that this would be prosecuted for sexual assault not rape, the burden of proof is on you, because you are the one making these claims. So no, I won't be googling for you. I'm not an unpaid research assistant.

Obviously anybody having PIV sex is at risk of pregnancy, not just the uneducated.

Judgy??

The OP was given condoms and her mother's blessing to have sex in her bed with her boyfriend at 13yrs old.

The fact she chose to do it at 15 is neither here nor there imo.

I'm gobsmacked and no I don't think lax parenting is a feminist issue at all

And that's what this is...wrapped up in feminism.

For god sake, stop being so judgy.

The OP didn't have sex at 13. She was a week from 15. She probably didn't refer to her mother as 'mummy', that's deliberately emotive.