Age of consent/average age to loose virginity, feminist issue?

OP not offensive at all I know quite a few people with a similar upbringing, it's interesting for conversation, I think. Hope you are OK with the way it has gone though! x

Paedophilia is sexual interest in children that have not yet reached puberty, Alexa. So no, that is not what I am talking about.

I can't comment on the equality issue because you haven't explained what the issue is. What is the actual difference between indecent assault and sexual assault? If we are talking about PIV sex, then the crime is rape. Women can't rape men under UK law unless they are participating in a man raping another man. You need to explain the law in more detail if we are to understand how and why the law is different for this age group.

OP sorry I didn't answer your question!

I see your mum's approach as liberal, rather than feminist or anything else. I grew up with lots of people who had the same "freedoms" as you, and that was definitely a liberal thing. Given that there were dads in the house too, and it was a "thing" that boys & girls were "allowed" to do.

The people I know are happy & fine.. I just don't see it as a "feminist" thing though. more the sort of thing where teh mum skins up and the dad gives you some drink type of thing. Not at 13 though - 15/16.

misspontypine, I think you are talking about some Utopia where young girls never come under malign influences...a controlling boyfriend who coerces her into the stuff he watches on YouPorn, a charming older man, someone who uses her emotional immaturity to push her boundaries (I could go on...)

that's not the real world for many teenagers, I am afraid

there have to be some protective measures in place

they are not perfect, that is for sure...but take them away and many more children will suffer

mist I absolutely abhor that accusation, that is fucking outrageous and I am actually livid that you would put those words in my mouth. How dare you.

What I said, is that telling a 15 year old to wait because the law says so, is pointless. Because they will have sex if they want to.

Likening that to pedophilia is fucking disgusting.

matter = mature

I don't buy this crap about some girls being more mature so ready for sex.

The genuinely mature girls are the ones who know that sex is best kept for those who are emotionally and mentally mature, not just the ones who happen to have periods and some burgeoning hormones.

There is nothing matter about having sex at 13, 14, 15. It is simply a child playing at being an adult.

The really mature ones understand that there is a time in life for childhood, a time for learning and a time for sex and they understand what is appropriate at what age.

Sorry, ipad sometimes autocorrects to exclamation marks in when I do a comma. I don't know why.

Alexa you are advocating that the law around age of consent be fudged/ignored/minimised/whatever you want to call it. You don't agree with me at all. You would rather give agency to the "but she looked 14 Guv (when she is really 12)" people. That's how it looks.

I think you are being a bit OTT - giving your child condoms, when you know they plan to have sex! isn't encouraging them. What would you do? Tell them not to and hope for the best?

Or keep them locked in until they turn 16 and are magically ready?

My mum treated me as an adult when I started to develop sexual feelings, rather than a toddler with a plug socketand a coat hanger. If a young woman is capable of understanding her actions why should she not be given the choice?

There is a massive gap between a toddler and a young woman.

A 13yr old child is not a young woman by any means.

maybe my mum was lucky that I am eminantly sensible

No I think YOU were lucky that you were sensible

And very lucky that you didn't get pregnant at the age of 13 whilst fumbling with a condom.

Yes you could have got pregnant outside of your home...but there's a massive difference in being educated about having sex and being encouraged to do so.

People have written these things. I do not understand why.

Explanations would be good.

That the law needs to be equal for both male and female parties engaging in sex

?

What needs to be equalised is the penalties that can be imposed. They are currently different for males and females.

?

I agree mist. I do.

I just think I would rather know my children were having sex safely, than burry my head in the sand and assume a horny 15 year old would wait, because it's the law.

Then they'll do it somewhere when they get a chance, which might not be safe, and might rush into the decision.

Good post Flora.

Tabard my reference to inequality between males and females was about how they may be treated by the law if one is over the age of consent.

Having a strong sense and law about the age of consent inconveniences two groups of people from what I can see.

1. Sex abusers who prey on underage children and 2) underage children who wish to have sex but should really wait a couple of years

I can live with that. Any parent should be able to live with that.

How am I derailing the thread

tabard I know, I don't know why you keep citing basic facts to me?

freya most 16 year olds have not reached sexual maturity either.

What needs to be equalised is the penalties that can be imposed. They are currently different for males and females.

Anyway, the point is that the op asked if it was right to tell people to wait until they are 16. I don't think it is, necessarily. In an ideal world, sure, but though I agree that having sex at 14 probably isn't the mature choice, teenagers make a lot of dumb choices. Best to make sure they are safe.

I think children should wait until they are 16 to have sex just as they should wait until they are 17 to drive and wait until they are 18 to vote and drink alcohol (fat chance of that last one though). Of course everyone matures at a different rate but the laws have to draw a line so that most people can get the protection they need. Child sex laws are to protect children from sexual exploitation from adults. It might have the effect that two 15 years olds who are mature enough cannot have sex but, hey ho. That's the consequences of trying to protect young people who are not mature enough.

Age of consent is 16.

How does it made to be more equal for males and females?

A bit

The point is that a 14 year old girl, by definition, has not reached complete sexual maturity. Sexual maturity isn't some opinion they hold in their head - it is a biological reality to do with physiological development.

The job of a parent isn't to wait around until a child decides to have sex and then provide the safest context for them to do it in. The job of a parent is to bring children up to make mature decisions. And the mature decision is to not have penetrative sex at 14.

Anybody who conflates having sexual urges with wanting to have penetrative sex or thinks it is a natural instinct for a 13 year old to want to have penetrative sex is confused.

You are derailing the thread, Alexa.

Alexa in the UK the legal age of consent for sex is 16. For any combination of sexes.

I don't have the answer Alexa. Gay and straight couples should be equal - in fact they should just be couples. I don't think the law will change while females require more protection.