Why would you be proud to be married?

I'm proud of my husband (I the same way that I'm proud of my parents, he is a nice bloke), I am proud that we have been able to stand up in public and make a commitment and mean it.

I am neither here nor there about the title, its just a fact for me. I am married, so my title is Mrs.

Being proud of my marriage to me just means that I am proud of the choices that were made, and the things that we have achieved together, not least the kids. I am not proud of it as an estate.

BTW I am far happier now than I ever was when I was single. That's partly because I have someone to support me. Being married makes that position legally binding.

SGB - We can find stats to support anything:

www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/marriage/why-married-women-are-happier-than-single-women/

Also, the name/title issue is important. While other aspects of a woman becoming a man's property through marriage may have diminished or disappeared, the patriarchal expectation that she will take his name is alive and well.

There should be no need to invent a new one. They are all abbreviations of Mistress. We (society at large) just need to pick one. At one time Mrs. was used for both married and unmarried adults.

I use Ms. because at present that is the one which does not reveal marital status. It is also easier because I am in the US where it is essentially the default, especially in professional settings.

Too right, SGB.

One you understand that the whole institution of marriage was invented to benefit men at the expense of women, it becomes easier to see through the pro-marriage propaganda. Basically marriage was designed to entitle every man to own the domestic, sexual and reproductive services of at least one women.

Though plenty of contemporary marriages are happy partnerships of equals, blah blah, ery nice if that's what you want, surveys still show that the order of happiness goes: Happiest, married men, next happiest, single women, next happiest, single men, unhappiest married women.

THe endless, relentless propaganda to the effect that all women long for, need and dream of marriage is designed to stop women refusing to be owned by a man on the grounds that they'd prefer to determine their own lives. To an extent, the current emphasis on pursuing, maintaining and 'working at' heteromonogamous relationships is a way of wasting women's time (and keeping them too preoccupied to start a revolution or anything).

Autumn, I think "mistress" is too loaded a term to catch on... But I agree we need a generic "adult woman" term such as Frau. Perhaps MN can invent one

In Germany it seems to have gone from using people's first names when young (

I wish all women could be "Mistress" (not "missis"!). I am rather fed up with saying "No, it's "Mis" - M-S!" It sounds like an STD.

Not quite any idiot can become a parent (though plenty do ). I am particularly proud of being an adoptive parent. I'm not saying I'm necessarily a great parent, or that being an adoptive parent is "better" or something to be more proud of than a birth parent (and in fact I'm both), any more than in saying that I am proud of being married I think myself "better" than people who are not married. But why wouldn't you be proud of being a parent (unless you have completely fucked it up)?

"it sounds so... so undefined. Like a women who won't be a Mrs doesn't even deserve a proper sound "
Totally!
I think I say.."Muz" or something like that..!?
There is no vowel!

Simarlarly, any idiot can become a parent. I would be proud to be a good parent, and I would wait until my dc are old enough to judge that tbh.

"I use Ms, but I hate the way it is hard to say."

Do you say "miz"?

I just pronounce it Mis, so it's kind of indistinguishable from Miss, but I HATE Miz, it sounds so... so undefined. Like a women who won't be a Mrs doesn't even deserve a proper sound :o

AnnieLobeseder - it's both - I proud that my relationship with my partner was solid, happy and consistent enough to make a legal, spiritual commitment to him for the rest of my life. I am proud of the marriage we have now which has built on those foundations.

I can't make someone see what they don't want to see. If you don't see value in it or wouldn't be proud in my situation that's fine and I respect that. That doesn't however mean that I am not allowed or entitled to feel proud of my marriage. I don't allow other people to define how i should feel about things things I value.

I agree Annie. I thought for a few days about getting married. Did it (eloped) in haste, repented at leisure. Big whoop. Any fool can get married, including me.

I'm proud of the relationship I gave with my husband. I'm also proud that we have formalised our relationship through the process called "marriage".

Similarly, I'm proud to have children, and I'm proud to be a parent.

I wish we could just have either "Miss" or "Mrs" for all women. You know, like "Mr". I use Ms, but I hate the way it is hard to say.
I was in Homebase once, ordering some paint, and the kid behind the counter asked " is that Miss or Mrs" and I said "It's Ms" and he said "oh. Does that mean you are divorced?" and I said "no, it just means it's not relevant if I am married or not. Like "Mr".
He looked amazed!
But I hate the raised eyebrows that go with "Ms" because it is a definite choice to use it. "Oooh, 30-odd and not found a man yet!"
When actually, it's just that Mrs IfNot is my step mum, and Miss IfNot is a little girl.
In France they everyone is Madame, married or not, after a particular age, but I hate that too, because of the heart-sink the first time someone uses it to you!
And I don't really get the point about being left at home when DP goes out because someone has to babysit..? Single people need babysitters too! We just find them, because we have no other option.

I accept I am illogical in that I chose to be Mrs Germs but cannot abide being Mrs Germs.

I know technically I am using a construct to denote a divorced woman by insisting on being Mrs Germs, and also that changing my name and using my husband's surname is submitting to the patriarchy. But I am at least able to make the choice myself, and most people respect my wishes except one not-so-elderly aunt grrrrrr

Nope, sorry, I still don't see why having the same status as anyone who can pay £150 (or whatever is costs) and walk into a registry office is anything to be proud of.

I see the legal value of marriage, particularly for the (usually) more financially vulnerable woman.

But surely it's the relationship you're proud of, not the rubber stamp making it legal?

Penguin - they probably tut and roll their eyes when they get cards from me addressed to Mr X and Mrs Y Bloggs instead of the "correct" Mr and Mrs X Bloggs. But for me, even calling the woman Mrs is a concession as I am very opposed to what the title means for women. But , it would be rude to call them anything else as that is the title they have chosen.

I'm sorry, Annie, I don't agree. I am proud of my marriage, but I am also proud that I chose to marry DH, that between us we have worked hard and we are still married, that overall it was the right thing fir me and DH to do.... In short, I am proud of being married.

I am Mrs but I really couldn't give two hoots what people write on envelopes, it isn't important to me.