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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mumsnet in the news

54 replies

ThoRAVENomiki · 25/10/2013 10:51

There have been several articles in the news, lately (Thanks to Penis-Beaker, no doubt) about Mumsnet regarding members discussing sex and suggesting that it is a negative thing. Why the outrage?! There are hundreds (thousands? millions?) of sites dedicated to Porn, promoting the more misogynistic acts of sex, rating women on their performance in the sex industry. There is porn on the shelf in corner shops and lads mags in supermarkets.

As far as I can tell men of all ages, job descriptions and parental status are allowed to indulge in their base instincts but mum's are not. Bit of a Madonna-Whore complex by the media in general. It's ok to like sex if you are pretty and discussing it in the realm of men, for men, and in a way that men like. But it's not ok for women to discuss sex in a forum mainly frequented by women. Especially one mostly used by mothers.
I just don't get it. There are constant jokes and criticisms about how all mothers lose their libido after children and yet when an opportunity arises to dispel this myth people don't like it. We should all go back to just discussing child-rearing and the many uses of baking soda Hmm

So, men can divulge and indulge in deviant ideas but women shouldn't ask their friends if these things are normal...
One article said these things are private but their not really are they? We have sex aimed at us by the advertising industry and media in general but we're not allowed to discuss it? We are supposed to listen to what men and the media want - shave your armpits, wax your genitals, make them smell like flowers, have a skinny waist and massive boobs, make sure they're pushed up and in etc. without checking with other women if they think this is all normal.

The reason all this bugs me so much is because I grew up in this world and my DD is going to have to as well.
I grew up seeing lads mags (and the Sun) on coffee tables read my the fathers of my friends, my brother, all my boyfriends and their friends. Objectification of women was normalised and I suffered for it.

The thing is I look like I turned out ok and I'm sure I did for the most part so people will say "ah well, it didn't do you any harm" but I think it did.

OP posts:
scallopsrmissingAnyFucker · 25/10/2013 11:13

It's all about control. The desire to control what women think, talk about etc. It's why we get men on here (as in FWR) telling us how we should feel/think/what we should be focusing on/how we are doing feminism wrong etc.

They are scared that when women get together to talk about their lives and experiences they might realise that they will want and expect more.

ThoRAVENomiki · 25/10/2013 11:09

Yes the DM -We must have been hi-jacked because mothers wouldn't dream of talking about sex. The thing (not bumsex, obvs!) that made them mothers in the first place Hmm

It was the Telegraph yesterday - "parental potty mouth" should be a drunken hiccup. Not sober discussions of a healthy sex-life between couples.

We should all become virtuous, soup-making, iron-wielding, husband -pleasing (but only in bed dear and save the naughty stuff for your child-less mistress), mumsy-boot wearing types as soon as the product of your sexual pursuits has nestled into the lining of your womb.

OP posts:
mignonnette · 25/10/2013 11:05

Yes sex and sexual imagery is so private we have public ads in which a man shaves a G into a woman's pubic hair.

So private that the media openly discusses the minutiae of the sex lives of those in the public eye and pays money to people willing to kiss and tell. Maintaining truthfulness whilst doing this is not top priority either.

What is bothering them is the rise of public use digital media whilst print media (controlled and owned by rich old men) is on the decline. They cannot copyright Female disclosure on here and MN is Female owned.

BuffytheAnyAppleFucker · 25/10/2013 10:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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