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Original poster

Am I wrong to let my daughter enjoy being girly then?

209 replies

pictish · 08/10/2013 10:28

DD is four - she will be five in Feb. I have two sons as well.

I have never encouraged or acknowledged a marked differentiation between the sexes, regards their interests and clothing. I always steered away from that stuff, letting them make their own minds up.

However, dd has embraced girliness wholeheartedly. She loves pink, and dresses, and My Little Pony and all things sparkly. In the interests of autonomy, and cultivating her own tastes, I don't mind it in the least.

I am starting to feel though, that through reading MN, unless she is playing football in bovver boots, I am doing her a disservice.
My mil (who is lovely really) is rolly eyed about all things pink and girly, and can't resist from making little comments about it. "Oh that's a very fancy dress" (sarcastic).

I have explained that the girliness is her own choice, and just what she happens to like, but I think it goes over her head...mil wants to think it's me pushing this onto her. It isn't.

I sometimes wonder if, in the quest for equality, we sometimes go too far the other way, and heap scorn upon girls who want to be girly? I feel the need to defend my dd's right to love pink and sparkly, as it is now heralded as so deeply uncool.

I thought it was all about offering choices...but nowadays (particularly on MN) it seems as though a girl being girly is a failure.

Anyone?

OP posts:
BurberryQ · 08/10/2013 10:36

I have never seen any scorn heaped on girls here for liking pink stuff or indeed for not wanting to 'play football in bovver boots' , more for shops for only offering genderised (if there is such a word) clothes/toys, as pootles said.
I am proud of my daughter for studying engineering but also for knowing how to do her make-up nicely.....
my proudest moment came when she punched a boy in the face for tweeking her nipple in an engineering class Grin

TheFabulousIdiot · 08/10/2013 10:35

Well, she can only choose from what you buy her I suppose so you must be making some choices about what she has available to her?

Does she watch TV and mix with other children? Because even that will have an effect given that as a whole society and culture pushes the whole pink girlie thing.

I don't think you need to worry at all about things going too far the other way - that would be practically impossible given how so much of what we see is geared towards girls being a certain way. It's surprising you haven't noticed it but you really shouldn't worry - girlie girls are never going to be denied the chance to be aware of what 'girlie' is.

noblegiraffe · 08/10/2013 10:35

Nothing wrong with sparkles and pink so long as it doesn't go hand in hand with a belief that you aren't as good/strong/clever as a boy and need rescuing.

Original poster
pictish · 08/10/2013 10:34

Exactly right PersonalClown.

OP posts:
PersonalClown · 08/10/2013 10:33

If it truly is her choice and not been encouraged from anyone (apart from the incessant advertising) then it's more than ok.

I believe that Feminism is the choice to be as you wish. She chooses to be 'girly'

RippingYarns · 08/10/2013 10:32

for me, it's not about what a girl/woman wears, it's about restrictions based on her gender

as long as she has equal opportunity to do/wear anything, that's fine

and yes, i include positive discrimination in 'opportunity'

Original poster
pictish · 08/10/2013 10:32

That's what I think Bonsoir. I agree.

OP posts:
Pootles2010 · 08/10/2013 10:31

I haven't seen any scorn heaped on girls for being girly, rather on toy shops etc for trying to engineer it.

No problem with your daughter liking sparkly things - just as i have no problem with ds liking them.

Bonsoir · 08/10/2013 10:30

MN has a strand of radical feminist censorship that is very distasteful.

It is more than fine for your DD to enjoy being a girl and woman.