Lapdancing and telling off dh's mate.

In the words of Marge Simpson:

"Oh please, it's a figure of speech"

Sab - of course not. But joking about murder is abusive in my eyes. This is how it reads to me. So from my point of view DV is not funny or healthy for a relationship. Threatening people as a means to control I don't accept. That might just be me.
I understand your reading of it. That is why you see it differently.

Weird. You think it was ok to tell her husbands friend off, but not to discuss boundaries with her husband?

Seems strange

She has every right to tell her dh she does not want him in a lap dancing club - and that if he does so, she will no longer be in a relationship with him. It is not abusive for a woman to state acceptable boundaries within her own relationship.

It is not controlling for a woman to be in a relationship on her own terms.

Sab - lol. Right to speak up, in the first place.

Wrong/abusive to say what she did to her husband. Using a threat to control someone is bad in my book.

Still not any making sense yougotbale. She did the right thing, but it was abusive?

Sab - that and that it was the right for the OP to speak up. Abusive is my interpretation of what was said.
I hope we would be even. Especially on here.

Got it in one, Grennie.

Anyone who doesn't think feminism is still needed should read the posts on this thread.

Yougotbale - we're even then, because I haven't known what you're talking about throughout this thread - except for going on about the op being abusive and Dawn French Still, it whiles away the day for you, I'm sure.

I've always said that sab. I don't know what you are talking about?

This thread is a classic example of men trying to put a feminist "back in her place". They obviously don't think any woman has a right to see herself as an equal to her male partner. And they don't think she should be pleased she stood up for her views, instead of being silenced like so many women are.

Manchester, I am so glad you did this and that this forum gave you the confidence to do it.

And ignore the idiots on here who think a woman should STFU. I suspect some of the posters here think Manchester should have been in the kitchen making sandwiches instead of talking about what she thinks.

Bale, Your posts don't indicate that you think it was good she spoke up for herself- you called her controlling.

Still, if that's what you're saying now - then that's a good thing.

I know. I read it back and it was nonsense. I meant that you can't edit what people write or say. It was good that the OP spoke up for herself

Bale. You told the OP she was controlling - that was unnecessary and goading. Your last post doesn't actually make enough sense for me respond to though - but your posting style is strangely familiar.

That was to cominalongnicely, btw, who is interested in reasonable discussion. Clearly not to Yougotbale (to repeat: life's too short).

We'll have to agree to differ, then. I still reckon going to a lapdancing club is prima facie evidence of being a knob and absolves me of any responsibility to engage with said knob. I'm pushing 50 and frankly, life's too short. There are nice, intelligent men and women I could be talking to.

It's a public forum ,sab , I've been called a goady fucker. I don't think that telling people what they can and can't say really the advice the OP used, IMO. That was my view. Silencing people is a bad move, maybe the OP would have confronted with that in mind.

LurcioLovesFrankie - comingalong - in my experience, the sort of man who is enough of a saddo to go to lapdancing clubs will interpret "A bit of a chat, some adult discussion & some pointers to get him thinking" as "some stupid cow swearing & banging on at me" in any case, so you might as well have the catharsis of a bit of swearing (specially if they had the cheek to express these opinions in your own house).

Bit of a big box to put someone in, I still think a discussion is better than rabid abuse TBH. Even if someone has the "cheek" to express an opinion in someone elses house.

Yes, and not be called 'controlling' and stuff by posters like you, bale. That would be nice too.

That's great. I wish we didn't have to live in a world where people had to seek confidence from a website. We need change this society so no matter what sex, race, age, ability has the confidence not only to speak their opinion but be able to speak out about isms and injustices.

Review - lol. It was a joke.

this is what the Bale said way back when when I challenged him on his daft assertion that what OP said was abusive

So I can safely say he's a goady derailer and he knows it.

Ignore shall be my new policy

OP came on to say thanks to FWR for giving her the confidence to speak up to dickhead friend boasting about antics in lap dancing bar.

So, of course a few goady fuckers had to come along to put her back in her place.

But thankfully, most of us know that they are goady fuckers who are not very nice, unlike kittens, which are.

Earth - 0/10? Please give me another chance to get your approval?

It's yougotbale. It's a spurs thing.

Bored now - bye bye Yougotmale. 0/10 for effort btw

Earth - if she had just written what he had said the OPost wouldn't have made much sense.
You can assume he would have some sexist views which may have added to points to discuss. I'm interested how the husband reacted.

To answer your question of course woman's words count. In general equally. In this case more so.

For you to ask that question I assume you don't think they are equal? It was a bias question towards your point of view.