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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Lapdancing and telling off dh's mate.

365 replies

Manchesterhistorygirl · 02/10/2013 17:41

I blame you lot. Thanks.

Last night dh's friend was telling him all about his recent visit to a lap dancing bar. I told him he and his mates were a bunch of twats and I was disgusted at them all, especially since they all have partners.

I also told dh if I ever found out he'd done the same it'd be the absolute last thing he ever did.

So my nest of vipers, thank you for giving me the confidence to handle a situation I've always found disgusting, but wouldn't have ever spoken out about until I joined here.

OP posts:
SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 03:02

So you've apologised and admitted the op wasn't abusive then. Good.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:57

Sab - read it back I've clarified my opinion many times. Before the OP came back I perceived what she said to the husband as abusive. Not the standing up part. Not the boundary setting. But the part about 'the last thing you do'. I saw it as abuse aimed at controlling.

But you already knew that.

Since the OP came back. I apologised and I don't think it was abuse in this context.

But you knew that.

I've pasted a previous post. You can read it again. You are saying the same thing.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:53

Obviously you can't take something back in her post Hmm

Would you like to take anything back from yours? Or do you still think she's abusive?

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:47

How can I take something back in her post?

I think again I'm going to have to have a different interpretation of a post to you.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:44

No, bale. that's the OP being fabulous and magnanimous. Not you actually taking back what you said. Why don't you own it?

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:40

Sab the post where OP clarifies is:

Manchesterhistorygirl Thu 03-Oct-13 22:08:03.

Night

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:36

I really believe those that believe in equality wouldn't set foot in a lap dancing club.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:36

Sab - she did. She explained the interpretation of the phrase. You must have seen it. I don't get you, you are a mischief maker

DropYourSword · 04/10/2013 02:35

Hmmmm. If this was switched round, and a husband had told off his wife and her friends and had said to her if he found out she'd done something like this it'd be the absolute last thing she ever did, and the wife came on here and posted about it then mumsnet would be up in arms, giving her sympathy and telling her he was controlling, abusive and to LTB !

I really believe in equality, I just don't believe in going about it like this.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:33

*knew

She didn't say anything that 'clarified' bale - you've just backed down because you realised how silly you looked calling her 'abusive'.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:30

Sab - I know that is why she came back and clarified. Up until then it was opinion based.

The OP didn't post that she thought she was abusive because she already new.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:26

And so did the OP, bale.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:17

Pain - it doesn't make sense because you knew the context of your comments.

PainInTheBum · 04/10/2013 02:15

I felt awful when I read this thread as I realised I'd been horribly abusive at home by threatening the removal of bollocks due to not putting the seat down/or not putting it up. I thought I was taking the piss and now understand how horrendous my behaviour was and promise to keep my silly little opinions to myself. I'm practising my tinkly laugh and boys will be boys head tilt.

A big thanks to those who posted pictures of kittens, little fluffy kittens so help to remind me of my place in the world. What would Hubby have thought if he'd known what silly thoughts I'd had .

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:14

Sab - read it back I've clarified my opinion many times. Before the OP came back I perceived what she said to the husband as abusive. Not the standing up part. Not the boundary setting. But the part about 'the last thing you do'. I saw it as abuse aimed at controlling.

But you already new that.

Since the OP came back. I apologised and I don't think it was abuse in this context.

But you knew that.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 02:08

No, you didn't properly explain yourself bale. Are you now saying you don't think the op was abusive?

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 02:03

Not at all. You know the reason I said it was abusive. It wasn't related to the standing up for herself part.
It was how I perceived the OP was reinforcing her relationship boundaries.

Anyway, you already new that

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 01:59

Everyone can see you for what you are bakey - someone that wants to call a woman standing up for herself an 'abuser'. That's all you're doing here. Everything else is just smokescreen.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 01:43

Sab - so is troll hunting. I've let that name calling go a few times. Just give it a rest.

What are the names of the other users?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 01:41

Several people think you are on this thread baley- incessantly and groundlessly calling the op an abuser is a personal attack, and against forum guidelines.

BitBewildered · 04/10/2013 01:39

I know. Strangely pleasing.

ravenAK · 04/10/2013 01:38

Quiet night on pistonheads, obv.

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 01:38

Sab - I'm not a troll. You are a wind up

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/10/2013 01:36

Curiouser and curiouser.

The trolls are actually fighting each other Confused

Yougotbale · 04/10/2013 01:35

Registry - have you heard what your uncle and dad get up to on 4*?