Lapdancing and telling off dh's mate.

@sabrina

I would say this isn't a female/male issue. It's about acknowledging that people have a difference of opinions, likes and dislikes, and activities, and behaving appropriately when debating those differences.

The OP just comes across as a bit controlling.

Zippey, I thought you must be joking. But how is this not about sexism?

@Reviewsoffers

Hello, you make an interesting point. If it was about an issue I cared about such as sexism/racism/homophobia, I probably would not have been able to have kept quiet. Then again, I probably wouldn't have called them vile and disgusting. I'd probably try and engage why they thought those things, and try and put over a reasoned argument on why their views were wrong.

I think this was the OPs downfall. Not her views but the way she closed the argument by being nasty to her DHs friend. Not everyone shares her views and who is to say either is right in their views?

You threatened to kill him? That sounds abusive

Its good you are sticking to your principles but unless you were asked for an opinion I would have kept stumm.

Yes!! Women, know your place. Do not talk about things that don't concern you. And don't be ranty and unreasonable. Or shrill. Definitely don't be shrill. Or hysterical either.

Well done, OP. Women don't have to STFU about these things.

it's easy for you to say Keep Stum if you have no objection, Zippey

but would you feel the same if it was an issue that you felt strongly was harmful? Racism, and homophobia or the environment, whatever?

Its good you are sticking to your principles but unless you were asked for an opinion I would have kept stumm. I hope u didn't tell your DH off in front of his friends. That would be awful and embarrassing, for both of you.

If your purpose was to educate why it is mysogenistic to visit these places, you probably came over all ranty and unreasonable. You will probably be the subject of derision and it doesn't do anyone any good. I would apologise for your behaviour next time you see him and explain why you don't like these clubs in a well informed manner.

I am ambivalent re lap dancing, but as long as everyone is consenting, including your friends partners, then all is ok in my book.

Yes when men rub your nose in your inferior status, STFU and make them a sandwich.

ArmyDad is right you know.

You should simply stay silent, dear, and perhaps make some sandwiches.
Men understand these things, and if you find yourself getting irrational about some manly joshing about you should just remember that it's not your place to stand up for your poorly understood principles. It's not very pleasant for the poor chaps for someone to find fault with their behaviour.

Be a lady, my dear.

Oh well done you. "Telling off" your DPs mate. Maybe there is some other aspects of their lives you could "correct" him on too.

Excellent! I think one of the problems is that these places have become so normalised that when men do go a lot of women don't feel able to speak up. I know I didn't when it happened to me as all the other wives/gf's were just telling me to deal with it. It would not be ok for a man to get a woman round to the house to give him a lap dance on a Saturday night but somehow it's ok in a club for a tenner on the high street!

Brilliant :)

Go you!

Excellent work Manchesterhistorygirl - well done :)