Book recs/opinions: society telling women that the way they look should relate to them being believed?

Aha

But the people who say "OOH I'm having a blonde moment" or similar IME aren't natural blondes. Or, aren't blonde at all

And I sit there gnashing my fucking teeth like this [grrrrrrrrr]

My colleague dyes her dark brown hair blonde in a t-section stylie. She looks nice, as she has easy-tan skin and eyebrows and eyelashes you can actually see what with being dark and she puts on this ditzy voice and says to the men "ooh sorry I'm being a bit blonde".

I have a fucking physics degree.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seriously it drives me up the wall. I HATE blonde jokes. So much.

Too tired to make this cohesive but there was a progranmme on BBC4 last night something like The Representations of Witches in Art History. Was interesting. Made me think of this thread. Might be worth a look. Good night.

I am working on a project at the mo, where apart from the sales guy, everyone else is female. Buyer, project manager, senior it architect, engineer, programmer on the supplier side. It is so lovely, and sadly unusual.

It may be a generalisation but......DPs father is a gnome, he is actually shorter than me, he doesn't like me and he is a very angry man.

Yes indeedy.

And actually being older and fatter and married and a parent seems to have toned down the sexist response to me. Which is good

DH talks about "small man syndrome" - he says it's always the little ones to watch out for in boozy pub situations as they have something to prove.

In my work braininess is sought after but to really get on you need confidence / charisma etc. So I work with quite a lot of very relaxed short men in immaculate suitage.

Actually my current job / company is great so I'm going to shut up now

But in the past not so good, not so good at all.

I have given up NiceTabard I would need stilts.

Although being short has its benefits, can't think of any right now but I'm sure there are some

Grimbletart, I have noticed this with some small men also. Tis a generalisation, but I meet lots of people for work and IMHO the small ones tend to be the angriest.

I wear heels and I'm still not on eye height with most people

Interestingly short men seem quite common where I work. But they are always super confident.

NiceTabard I can almost picture the meeting don't they say something about assumptions make a fool of you, they all must have felt very silly.

I think I read somewhere (unless I imagined it) that of two presidential candidates in the US, it was the taller one that usually won.

Confession: in the 80s - that decade of power dressing - at business meetings I always wore high heels that put me on eye level with the blokes - oh, and power shouldered suits. And I was brunette then. It seemed to help .

Oh, and at the risk of stereotyping horribly it does seem to be small men that have a Napoleon complex in my personal experience - maybe have to throw their weight around because they feel inferior to tall men?So men have problems of perception too.

The have never had a woman, which is more irritating.

I think that taller people get noticed in a positive way.

As a small blonde woman I always got noticed but not in a way that was positive from a "getting on at work" POV.

It's maybe this thing about "professional" = tall neat non bearded etc man (think presidents of USA). Actually the presidents of the USA thing is exactly right. they've never had a bald one (or something).

I suspect it is true with women, as it is with men.

To do with commanding attention (in a positive way in our society) and automatic respect.

I know plenty of men who are tall and well built and who look good in a suit who sort of get automatic respect because of how they look. And they have to actively go wrong to lose respect - the starting assumption is they are good at what they do.

Whereas in the same environment someone like me, when I was younger and slimmer - so female, not very tall, blonde, not unattractive etc - I had to earn it. Even now, I got mistaken for a PA type person who was there to minute a meeting, just a couple of months back. Woman with pad = secretary. I was a bit confused as to why when we went round the table doing intros everyone looked pointedly at me. I didn't twig what they were thinking until the introductions were halfway around the table. They were expecting me to write it all down! So I continued nodding and smiling and all the men looked more and more confused until I introduced myself, clearly not as a PA. Was kind of funny but kind of weird.

Back to point, yes I feel that eg tall brunette women are taken more seriously on initial impression than a smaller woman with blonde hair / big boobs / etc. It's an "alpha" thing, so they like to say. I think it's good old fashioned sexism & stereotyping.

I have always wondered whether tall women are taken more seriously (says she who is a short arse) I equate being tall with being successful and having the respect of peers. I might be completely wrong and height doesn't convey any benefit to women. I'm sure I read somewhere that tall men out earn shorter men, I wonder if this could also be true of women?

I never get the slating of VB either. She has never done anything to hurt anyone as far as I can see. Much misogyny and envy IMHO.

I was reading something about Katherine of Aragon and Henry VIII and how they were popular with the people because they were young and attractive (when they first married). Maybe attractiveness = perceived health = perceived fertility (which was important at the time) in a time when most people would have lived very hard lives, died young etc.

I know, lots of assumptions. Its absurd.

Well fuck me.

What a bizarre survey to carry out. Men!!!! Who do you want to fuck / marry / have cook for you, and why????

I mean, WHAT?

Also the surveyors and the surveyed men appear to be working on the assumption that hair colour is like clothing - it can be changed at will.

If they carried out such a shit ridiculous survey in an area with lots of natural fair blonde people, would they get the same result? What about in an area where everyone pretty much had very dark hair? Doubt it.

And even the opener "Blondes may have more fun" - WHY? People who are born with blonde hair will have a range of personality types. Maybe they are not "fun types" and others try to have fun, kind of at them when they are young. WTF? That's not fun for the young person on the receiving end, it's shit. Then again, lots of not blondes dye their hair that colour - why? And what sort of effect does it have on the ones of us who just look like that? A fucking bad one is what.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Have you seen this www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1250520/Blondes-really-fun-Men-claim-brunettes-make-best-wives-fair-haired-women-better-bed.html

Sorry its the Daily Fail, so I'll paste it in, might be useful

Blondes may have more fun - but it comes at a price. Men don't trust them. A study found that while fair-haired women are considered to be the most adventurous in bed, brunettes are seen as more reliable in a relationship ... and more sexy.In a poll of 1,500 men, more than 60 per cent thought dark-haired girls were the most trustworthy and loyal,compared with just 14 per cent of blondes. The result is men feel brunettes make the best wives

Some 61 per cent said they would prefer to marry a brunette over women with any other hair colour.Brunettes were also the most popular choice to have a deep and meaningful conversation with (63 per cent).While 34 per cent of men like the blonde-haired glamour model look, 42 per cent said they actually found brunettes sexier.More than half (51 per cent) also think women with dark hair are better kissers, while 47 per cent think they are the most sensual.Nevertheless, blondes take the prize in the bedroom stakes - 36 per cent of men considered those with light hair to be the most wild, while just 31 per cent think of brunettes in the same way

Commenting on the study for Philips Sensual Massagers, spokesman Karen Moore said: 'Blondes have always had a reputation for being fun, carefree and adventurous and it seems that can also be applied to relationships, as men think they have the best skills when it comes to the bedroom.'But brunettes seem to have every other aspect of a relationship sewn up, right down to the kissing.'However, it's interesting that despite thinking blondes are better in bed, men actually see brunettes as being the more passionate.'This research stands those with dark hair in good stead for a long-term relationship as they look likely to be the best at keeping their other half entertained and happy as well as managing a home and looking after children.'The study also found men see women with dark hair as more maternal, best at looking after family finances and the best cooks

Regards the blonde hair/dark hair I read years ago that it was to do with Blonde hair being synonymous with age, innocence, trust and generosity, dark hair being synonymous with witch craft, the dark arts and seriousness. I suppose in myth and legend witches were always portrayed as being dark haired.