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Original poster

If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

105 replies

kickassangel · 08/08/2013 00:05

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

OP posts:
specialsubject · 08/08/2013 11:26

peer pressure is for sheep. You are a person. Don't succumb to it.

that covers the girls at school who think it is clever to shoplift, the boyfriend who wants her to go further than she does and the society that may make her feel that she can't leave the house without makeup. Job done for life!

'respect yourself and others' is also brilliant.

Branleuse · 08/08/2013 11:25

Dont have kids, stick at school, and travel.

UnstoppableCousCous · 08/08/2013 11:23

Never speculate with more than 12% of your capital.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom · 08/08/2013 11:18

I would say to always remember that I think you two are the most wonderful people in the world. Your friends and partners should make you feel like the best version of yourself, and if they don't, they shouldn't be your friends/partners.

If I was allowed more than one I would add to always have a back up plan. You can take the most amazing risks and leaps of faith if you have a back up plan. Most of them you won't need to call upon, but when you do, you'll be glad it is there.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 08/08/2013 11:09

Go to Uni to study something that interests you (and might lead to a job ?!) See the world in your twenties and have children later. Marry (or don't marry) a good man (or woman) Always remember that you're gorgeous, and that (your Mummy loves you ! Be kind and assertive.

(sorry, was that a few more than one ? (at least five at last count ?!) - all to be juggled at the same time then Grin)

GetStuffezd · 08/08/2013 11:00

Make the most of every educational opportunity that comes your way.

runningonwillpower · 08/08/2013 11:00

When I saw the thread, I was thinking along the lines of 'never wear two tarty garments at the same time'.

I shall go away and think more deeply.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/08/2013 10:58

Never be a martyr to anyone. Compromise, sure, but don't ever be the one making all the sacrifices in any relationship - with friends, partner or children. Believe absolutely in your self-worth and your right to be just as happy and fulfilled as your partner/children.

I would say similar to my sons - about belief in their self-worth, but men are rarely called upon to be martyrs to their families, so I would probably leave that out. I would instead tell my sons to not believe that they have to live up to any artificial masculine ideal - that they are men no matter how they act/dress or if they respond emotionally and any true friend or partner would love them more, not less for being their own version of a man.

In short, in both cases it's about not letting societal ideals/pressures of what women/men should be or do dictate their lives and relationships.

Pagwatch · 08/08/2013 10:58

God yes to duck quackiness.

MumnGran · 08/08/2013 10:54

Darliing DD's .... if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck ....its always going to be a duck. Whatever you do.

Pagwatch · 08/08/2013 10:53

(pedantic note - 'if anyone ever touches you in a way you don't like, scream etc etc' massively misunderstands grooming)

Pagwatch · 08/08/2013 10:51

Find the thing you love. Then try and find a way to make it pay you a salary.
Getting up each day to do something you love is the secret of happiness.

But that's for all my dc.

blueshoes · 08/08/2013 10:51

I would only say mine to my daughter. My advice is gender-specific.

post · 08/08/2013 10:49

And that's EXACTLY what I say to my sons, my sisters, my husband, myself :)

blueshoes · 08/08/2013 10:49

"Never rely on one man financially", closely linked to "don't put yourself in a position where you and your children have to take shit from a man just because you have no options".

post · 08/08/2013 10:48

Nothing is more important than your happiness.

Ulysses · 08/08/2013 10:26

Sort out your finances. Would say the same for a son too.

Caster8 · 08/08/2013 10:24

That all people have to earn your trust.

OneStepCloser · 08/08/2013 10:14

Be financially independent, get a good education and career so that you can carry youself and your own children/animals/home whatever independently. (wishes own mother had told me this when I was young)

RippingYarns · 08/08/2013 09:56

Cold :) I bet lots of other people don't

colditz · 08/08/2013 09:41

I do say those things to my sons.

RippingYarns · 08/08/2013 09:12

But on the advice front, bit difficult as DD has SN in an area that where women/girls are not easily recognised/supported. Not sure if she's going to able to live independently but my advice is if you smell bullshit, check it out.

scallopsrgreat · 08/08/2013 09:10

I don't think it is strange at all that the responses are about women's relationships to men. Men oppress us. Seems sensible to give advice with regards trying to live or overcome that oppression.

RippingYarns · 08/08/2013 09:08

I'm baffled why so many responses are about relationships, personal appearance and their own children.

Would you say those things to your sons?

colditz · 08/08/2013 09:03

If something makes you happy, do it, even if some men think it makes you unattractive.