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Original poster

If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

105 replies

kickassangel · 08/08/2013 00:05

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

OP posts:
Patosshades · 09/08/2013 01:27

Do what you want, life is too short.

Icedink · 09/08/2013 00:35

My advice would be the same to my ds - do what makes you happy and know that you deserve it.

williaminajetfighter · 08/08/2013 22:23

Mine would honestly be: try to enjoy yourself!! And work wise, follow your bliss.

I come from a long line of miseryguts and people who could turn a sunny day into a rain cloud. I hope to god my lovely DD doesn't end up cynical and joyless like them. Enjoying yourself sometimes needs to be a conscious effort!

ThreeBeeOneGee · 08/08/2013 22:19

It was homemade: we sat down together and we all came up with ideas, then grouped them under different headings:

Respect ourselves.
Respect others.
Respect our community.
Respect the planet.
Respect our home.
Respect God (I realise that this last one wouldn't be relevant to all families!).

Then I made it into a sort of mindmap in different colours using a well-known home publishing software application.

GibberTheMonkey · 08/08/2013 22:14

Threebee
That poster sounds interesting. Is it home made or can you tell me where I might get one please

Josie314 · 08/08/2013 16:57

Speak up for yourself, in all situations. You will earn more respect and get what you want a lot more often than by keeping quiet.

OddSockMonster · 08/08/2013 16:49

Probably the same as I tell my sons - be kind, don't hit, and no armpit-farts at the dinner table.

grimbletart · 08/08/2013 16:33

Remember to laugh.

VenusRising · 08/08/2013 15:37

Meditate every day.
Everything will fall into place :)

CoolStoryBro · 08/08/2013 15:29

Sheesh! Some of these are really negative, especially on page one!! I'd hate to think my dying words to my DD were to give her relationship advice, based purely on my own regrets. But then, she's only 10, so it's a little premature.

Mine would be be true to yourself and know that you are very loved for being exactly who you are. Although, I'd use more words and less clichés in the actual conversation.

worldgonecrazy · 08/08/2013 15:22

I will tell her that she is responsible for her own financial, physical, social, spiritual and mental well-being, (until she has children). She is responsible for her own mistakes too. She should not take on responsibility for any one else's well-being, nor should she expect others to take responsibility for hers.

But her family will be there for her whilst she learns how to be responsible for herself and will help her fix any mistakes she makes.

namechangeforthispost864269 · 08/08/2013 15:18

The best piece of advice i ever got was from my mum who told me if you wait for the 'right' time to do anything you'll never do anything.
I will tell all my dc the same

ThreeBeeOneGee · 08/08/2013 15:15

Same as Shannaratiger, my advice for DD and all three DSs is to respect yourself and those around you.
We have a poster on the wall which shows that all of our house rules come down to respect: for yourself, for others, for the community & for the planet.

GibberTheMonkey · 08/08/2013 15:10

Work hard and get a good education

It would help in so many way, would give confidence, opportunities, teach to think for herself, ability to support herself...

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 08/08/2013 15:06

I gave this advice to another relative the other day and I think it's pretty valuable, even if it is a quote from Aunt Eller in "Oklahoma":

"I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be darned if I ain't just as good."

In other words, don't be an arrogant arse and remember that everyone else has feelings just like you do, but walk tall and know you are equal with anyone.

Original poster
kickassangel · 08/08/2013 12:42

I think some of these are because of things that have happened in our lives. Like I was told so much not to make a fuss or be assertive or speak up for myself etc. so guess what? There was the boyfriend who didn't hear when I said no, the boss who blanked out anything I said in meetings etc.

It would be great if women didn't have a whole load of extra challenges to face in life, but they often do, so how do we prepare them for that?

My parents would be shocked and horrified at the idea of me lvivng alone without a man, convinced that I must be lonely and sad, struggling to cope etc. it never occurred to them that I should be financially independent.

So based on my past, I would expect dd to grow up able to voice her opinions, and take care of herself.

Sadly, I have already heard her say she'll have a husband to look after her when she's older, which is NOT a message she gets at home, but something that she has picked up elsewhere, so I want to tell her to take care of herself, not rely on a man.

OP posts:
fluzle · 08/08/2013 12:41

When my oldest daughter was born, I wrote in my journal that I hoped for her that she'd always know her own worth, that she would look for the best in every situation and be optimistic that life will be good, and that she would remember to be kind. She's only four still, but I think I'll hope for the same for her at any age.

rindercella · 08/08/2013 12:29

I would say to my daughters to make the most of their education. It will leave them well equipped for the future.

meditrina · 08/08/2013 12:26

Being persuasive is usually more important than just being right; think about the impact you have on the world and make sure it's the one you want.

And a second thought: always know why you are choosing the things you choose; even a shallow reason is OK, as long as you know what it is.

curlew · 08/08/2013 12:25

If everyone around you doesn't like him, there's probably a good reason.

NotGoodNotBad · 08/08/2013 12:23

I'd say, Live your life to the full - you've only got one.

This may be influenced by the personality of DD1, who is both intelligent and beautiful (yeah, I know, I'm her mum!), but she does not take the initiative - something I hope she will grow out of.

LynetteScavo · 08/08/2013 12:08

Never be afraid to have a go. You probably can do it. And if you can't, try again.

(I hope I'm getting this through to her anyway)

Scruffey · 08/08/2013 12:05

Do not spend too much time obsessing over hair/makeup/clothes. Most women have no idea how lovely they are without all this shite. It will save time, money and sanity.

daytoday · 08/08/2013 11:52

If he's not treating you right at 25 he's certainly not going to be treating you better at 35.

Or

Don't wait to be invited - make your own life.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 08/08/2013 11:31

Treat other people as you would expect them to treat you. And have high expectations of how well you should be treated.