Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Discussing feminism with women today

128 replies

ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 18:54

A post was opened about feminism on a forum I'm on. I'm a feminist, leaning more towards rad feminism but not buying into all their ideology. I don't believe men can be feminists, I think they can sympathise with the movement, as I can say against race rights, but they haven't truly experienced being a woman in a partiarchal society.

I got called names and a "man hater" and all sorts of horrible things, and I wondering if my beliefs are really out there and a bit insane?! I'm married to a man with two sons, and I don't "hate men" and I know that's a lazy thing to call a feminist but it's really got me down.

OP posts:
kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 30/07/2013 20:55

I totally get what you mean. IMO men can have feminist views, and support feminism. This might actually make them less likely to want to overtly label themselves as feminists because they would have humility about it. Men's most helpful role is not to go round saying "I'm a feminist, aren't I brilliant?" but instead to do the difficult drudge work of standing up for women and against sexism amongst other men.

kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AKissIsNotAContract · 30/07/2013 20:49

I think patriarchy does men a disservice too. I think men can be feminists.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:47

A feminist is a woman who wants to remove the patriarchy and what it stands for. A feminist wants equality for women, to end exploitation and misogyny; a feminist is someone who can see through her eyes how women are treated differently, being that she's experienced it, and wants to get rid of that treatment/stigma

OP posts:
kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:41

I think a woman (born a woman) wanting to get rid of the patriarchal system because it effects her makes her a feminist. I don't think men are targeted by the patriarchal system, unless I'm reading into it all wrong

OP posts:
kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:33

handed* sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:33

Kim it's exactly that, they can empathise but haven't first handedly experienced.

Maybe I'm more rad fem than I thought.

OP posts:
kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Backonthefence · 30/07/2013 20:31

How are you going to remove the patriarchy without men?

ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 20:30

Its not about needing a man's help - its about people wanting the same thing and lots of the people that want that are men.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:24

Sorry for using the wrong terminology.

I'm confused? How so? I believe in removing the patriarchy and I don't believe in needing a mans' (generally speaking) help to do it. What do you think feminism is?

OP posts:
ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 20:22

And what is this about outlawing men? Confused

ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 20:22

I think you seem a bit confused about the definition of a feminist tbh.

ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 20:21

Being a feminist isnt about experiencing the struggle women go through.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:17

It matters to me, because I don't need a man to fight my battle to be truthful. Can't anything just be womens'?

OP posts:
kim147 · 30/07/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 20:14

I think that men can be "pro feminists" but not feminists mainly because they're not women and therefore can't understand the struggle from a womans' perspective. I read it online quoted, but can't say where it was originally from, but I know it was in one of her books too.

OP posts:
ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 20:14

Outlaws men? Men are illegal? Confused

SconeRhymesWithGone · 30/07/2013 20:04

Wasn't Moran speaking to women when she said that?

I am a feminist (and a woman). Men can be feminists, too. I married one and I raised one. But they do have to understand that being a feminist does not erase their male privilege, and they must be willing to be educated and led by women in their feminism.

But I don't think you should be attacked for a different view. I know radical feminists who believe that men can only be allies, but not feminists (or at least not radical ones). I recognize that it is a valid point of view, even though I disagree with it.

Original poster
ContentedLittleMummy · 30/07/2013 19:17

Oh, it's along the lines of "put your hands down your pants, if there's a vagina and you want to be in control of it then you're a feminist". This clearly outlaws men. Ah my NN is because my babies were whispers Gina Ford babies (her book is Contented Little Baby!)

OP posts: