Surnames

Sonly, because civil partnerships are without some of the connotations of marriage eg father giving daughter away to husband. They give the legal protection without the historic baggage.

I know my place

And you must have tool.time that you need to take same name to feel lovely

I really don't agree that I have less value to a man because I have his name, I must have lived a very sheltered life I've never felt second rate to any man. Some of you must have known some right tools in your life

I team am in team we,not team he. I don't want his surname
The kids have our surname
No name is the dominant name,or team

But it's a team where you have agreed that you have less value than the man.
If you want an outward sign of being on the same team, why not both take that on and change to a different name?

I could have written that Snowgirl1 I really don't get the fuss.I think its lovely we 5 of us have the same name its like we are a team

Oh yes down with that kind of newfangled name thang
Much Easier to know your place and keep a man name?
With db name you can chose how to arrange it on marriage,it's not unsustainable at all

Re double barreling - if everyone did this, when the next generation get married they'd be quadruple-barreled. It's unsustainable ... or something!

It's just a name. You don't change as a person when you change your name. What's important is your values and personality, not your name.
I changed my name when I married because I wanted to represent being united as a married couple - and partly because I couldn't be arsed with all the hassle of people getting confused as to what my surname was and also because if we had children I wanted us all to have the same surname. I liked my maiden name and my married name is very common. But I got used to my married name very quickly and changing name hasn't changed me as a person.

Why would that be different from a wedding to heterosexuals, sorry if I sound a bit thick

I got married a couple of weeks ago and have kept my name. The thought of changing it made me very uncomfortable, we've been together 10 years and have 2 dc (they have dh's surname), getting married, to me, is mainly a legal thing and living and having dc together are much bigger changes iyswim.

Threw the 'helpful' list of who to change your name with (banks etc) and the dc re-registration forms straight in the bin!

It means that civil partnerships would be available to heterosexual couples.

Campaingning for civil partnerships for all? What does that mean?

Both parties keeping their names makes marriage more equal.

Just as dropping "obey" makes marriage more equal.

Is marriage perfect? No, which is why some are campaigning for civil partnerships for all. But until that's enacted, the way to get the most legal protection is through marriage.

Euro arsenal do you really think marriage is all about sharing a surname? Rather than legal protections,public commitment to each other and shared lives? Curious

I'm not against anyone keeping their surname, but it's a bit silly to reason keeping your maiden name is a fight against misogyny when the whole idea of marriage is based on misogynist values.

I run a guide unit of 10-14yr old girls in an area where over 90% of families have two parents living together and most are married.
I would say that at least 30% of the girls do not share a surname with their mothers (who write the cheques). It's become normal.

I kept my name on marriage, my dh hates double barrelling and offered for our son to have my name but instead I chose to give him mine as a middle name and dh's as a surname.

The point I see in correcting people is that many people, on discovering I kept my name, quite honestly said they had no idea that was possible/allowed. I'd like everyone to know it is allowed and to make people see it is as an option and empower them.

See, I wish I'd figured that out earlier and at least has the discussion about the DSes having my name.

Scone you are right about tradition being that children took mother's surname. It was just that for years the mothers surname did tend to be her husband's name

Feminist statement here too. Also, it's more practical because nothing changes officially.
Even as a girl I saw no reason why I should change my name.

I've got my own surname, DH has his. I'm not a fan of DBing myself (no offence) so gave my children DH's name for no other reason than I felt like it.

It has caused absolutely no problems whatsoever. We get cards addressed with random surname combos, but who cares? Nobody spells DH's name correctly anyway, so it's kind of fun guessing whs addressed the envelope!

We are not married so have different names. The boys have dp's surname. It's never caused a problem and isn't uncommon. I think the idea of a double-barrelled name is really nice so I'd say do that if that's what you want. You could also use one of your surnames as a middle name, or have both but unhyphenated. I think you'll find it much easier than you imagine.