'Cock tease'

What's the equivilent man-wise?

flirting is acting like you may be sexually interested in someone. Its not just being chatty.
Some people just do it. Im really bad at it, and it freaks me out when people flirt with me. If someones throwing out signs that theyre interested in me, when theyre actually not, just so they can bolster their own self esteem by being able to get the attention and then reject, than thats cruel.
Cock tease/chuff tease are horrible words for it, but its an insane thing that people do, especially for people that actually feel the flirting and then rejection on a more emotional level than just thinking with whats between their legs

With respect to the unstoppable male sexuality meme, when my male students used to run that one by me with all due seriousness (they really seemed to believe it) I would ask them what happens if their mother walked in on them having a wank.

Anyway isn't flirting just sending out the message that you like someone and may find them attractive, and are enjoying talking with them and spending time with them ?
Anyone can see this doesn't always lead to choosing to have sex with them!
Anyone who thinks it does is an idiot surely ?

Like I said, I know more men who tease deliberately and spitefully. Whether it's to prove a point to their friends ('moose hunting' for example) or because they want to 'put a woman in her place' ie punish her for something by reminding her that the most important thing about her is her desirability. I'm not denying that there are some women who are spiteful as well, of course.

But flirting can either be a way of making conversation (which is only percieved by one party as flirting anyway) or it can be checking someone out and then deciding that acutally s/he is not as desirable as you thought and backing off, which is not wrong.

"some men do it to but obviously the connotations are different" Really?

What is wrong with flirting? Why should you not flirt with someone you may not want to have sex with? And how do you know these women are actually 'flirting' (whatever that may mean as it is hugely subjective) and not just have a conversation?

I think its a real thing that a lot of young immature women do when they feel confident the more sexual attention they get but they dont want to have sex. its horrid. some men do it to but obviously the connotations are different, but the whole thing is hideous.
just dont flirt with people if you dont want to get it on. its confusing

"to have sex on" Urghh ! SGB

But yes, it's like the obsession with whether or not you're with anyone (a man) Like, whether or not you're already owned by someone (spoken for to put it naicely)

Bloody hell, we've got such a long way to go for respect and equality haven't we ?

I think, on balance, I have met more men who were into this sort of spiteful teasing to boost their own egos ie flirting with you all night then backing off, sometimes in a very rude manner. My mates and I used to label certain men 'fanny-teasers' because that's exactly what they were.

But I agree with other posters that a lot of men seem to feel that a woman's existence is 'proof' that she's available for him to have sex on, and a refusal on her part is simply wrong.

Tell him that you see him as one of the good guys, but that all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

Tricky, you could have changed your mind for any reason or no reason, as could the man. Does your DH call you a cocktease if you snog him at 8pm but don't want sex at 10pm? I'm sure he doesn't. So why is it different?

Yes Juggling, I talked about the issues with both of my children. It isn't the responsibility of only one sex, we can only change inequalities and preconceptions if both sexes are involve and aware.

"Anyone has the right to refuse sex, at any time, for any reason"

That seems a very powerful statement, given our society.
Should be quite simple and straight-forward, but is often over-complicated.
Fortunately it's something that has been reasonably well respected in my encounters and relationships - there are good men out there too.

Something to talk with DD about - and DS

I doubt it Doc, he's probably meaning heavy flirting, body contact and suggestive comments which is then used to justify 'She wants to have sex'

Are there really a lot of women he or his friends have come across who explicitly say "I want to have sex with you" and then head off?

Or might there be some misinterpretation?

Tricky, no doubt there are people who set out on a night out to steal a couple of wallets, or start a punch up or whatever.

But those people are in a small minority and don't have a phrase all of their own that can then unsubtly be broadened to mean something That for some men seems as wide as "woman who won't fuck me even though I want her too"

But yes, it is used as a justification for rape.

'They really still seemed to believe that lie that once a man is turned on, it's an unstoppable thing and you can't say no, because his balls will explode and it'll be your fault.'

That's one of the key points that both sexes need to be taught. No it isn't unstoppable, nothing will explode and sex is always a choice and never a right. That unless it is explicit that both people want sex, it shouldn't happen.

I hate this. I remember having to deal with female Personal Tutor students at the college I used to work at, who had endured all sorts of crap (up to and including unwanted pregnancy, and a subsequent abortion), in the name of not being seen as a "tease". They really still seemed to believe that lie that once a man is turned on, it's an unstoppable thing and you can't say no, because his balls will explode and it'll be your fault.

Anyone has the right to refuse sex, at any time, for any reason.

Nacster you need to find new friends, dude

I love that, EW!

I know so many arseholes chaps who view the whole process of flirtation/ relationships as transactional. I won't even let most men buy me a drink any more, since clearly I "owe" them something. (I play in a band, I've had drinks sent up by men who then think I owe them time chatting while I'm breaking down gear, or stand threateningly close trying to talk while I'm on a break, that style of thing. If you want to buy me a drink, do. Don't expect me to engage though!)

The one woman I do know, and am close to, who uses sex in a way that could be described as cock teasing, is very damaged and has her whole self-worth tied up in being found attractive. It's the only part of herself that she views as important. I wish I could help her. Another woman I am related to actually says she "has" to fuck men who have bought her a drink/ brought her home. It's scary.

I do not flirt, ever. I'm not good at it anyway. But I would be concerned for my safety if I did, in the environment I work in (only woman, alcohol flowing, neanderthal idiot men who don't actually think women are human.) The only way I feel safe is to completely shut them down. My (male) friends seem to think it's a spectator sport.

Yeh, it's really unfair and offensive.

If a guy thinks things are leading towards sex and they turn out not to be at some point he read things wrong/ she changed her mind. Too bad !
He probably had a pleasant evening with a lovely girl and got some free practice at improving his charm/ relationship skills.