Friends who have been to stripclubs.

"her partner is not the best man..."

Ah, but suppose he were merely a good man?

I do know a man whose coworkers hired a stripper to celebrate the boss's birthday. When the word was passed around that the woman had arrived, he left by the back door and strolled around the neighbourhood for half an hour.

"If you love someone its not as clear cut as saying "I think its wrong therefore don't go to your best mate's/brother's stag do or I won't have anything more to do with you". If only it were that simple."

For me, it is that simple. I just wouldn't love someone who thought it was OK to go to strip clubs. It's not a question of telling someone not to go somewhere, I just wouldn't be with a man who thought it was OK to do that in the first place.

I can understand that if you fell in love with someone when you were much younger and your views of the world weren't quite crystallised and you hadn't necessarily made your mind up on stuff, then you have to compromise. I'm lucky, I don't.

I agree with Basil, I don't think it's right to tell your partner, or a friend, what they can and can't do. But, I wouldn't be able to keep quiet about my feelings. If they still wanted to go, fair enough, I'd be disappointed but I wouldn't end a relationship or friendship because of it. Prostitution would be different though.

Fwiw, I visited a strip club 10 years ago, before I really started thinking about feminism, etc. I hope that people wouldn't judge me now based on then.

That's all well and good Basil, I don't like the idea of my DP visiting strip clubs either, although I know that he has been on stag dos in the past where this has happened, but while I can have a say in what he does for leisure now that he's with me, I can't control what his company deems acceptable or what his friends and family choose to do on a stag night.

He says he wouldn't go for the fun of it, but he works in an industry where it is accepted practice to entertain sleazebags clients at these places, (although his company apparently doesn't, but only because they are too stingy to pay for it!)

I have made it clear that I would not be happy if that were to crop up, explaining that if these clients were female or not at all interested in strip clubs that they would have to find a more appropriate way to win their business, so why not do that anyway, be known as a better class of company who don't need to use alcohol and women's bodies to sell their services.

He asked what would happen if his brother decided to get married and it was arranged for them to go somewhere like that. I said "obviously he's your brother so I can't say 'don't go to his stag do' but I would hope that your brother had the same level of respect for his financee that I believe you have for me and would choose not to go somewhere like that at the very point he is supposed to be committing to a serious relationship with her".

If you love someone its not as clear cut as saying "I think its wrong therefore don't go to your best mate's/brother's stag do or I won't have anything more to do with you". If only it were that simple.

As far as I know, none of my friends have been to a strip club and I have absolutely no interest in doing so either. This short clip always makes me smile: m.youtube.com/watch?v=0-sBM11mGNI

I wouldn't have friends who indulged in that sort of behaviour, so it's not really an issue for me.

I wouldn't want to be in the sort of relationship where one of the partners is so infantilised that the other partner feels it's their role to tell him what to do.

I would never tell a man not to go to a strip club. I just wouldn't want him in my life if he did - I'm too good for that shit.