Nails

rosabud that's it exactly.
I have two DDs and they seem to be under far more pressure from society to conform to a perfect vision of womanhood than we were.

Smart, clean, minimal make up and sensible shoes is what my DSIS has worn to the office for the last 25 years.

Now (at least if you are young) you are expected to have short skirt, high heels, perfect nails, perfect make up and Barbie's figure.

In other words corporate dress for women is designed to make you look 'sexy' rather than business like. I think it's a really retrograde step.

It's even percolating down to our sixth form girls, who's idea of 'smart dress' looks like something I'd have gone to a disco in. How on earth it's supposed to make their male peers and university lectures take them seriously as "people" when they look like "fashion magazine adverts" I don't know?

Isn't this all a bit culturally specific? Long fingernails in men are an old tradition in Eastern/Asian cultures. It is also apparently all the rage amongst young Chinese men - something to do with a sign of prosperity, as it indicates that you aren't a manual or agricultural worker.

I have a teenage daughter who thinks these fancy nails are pretty, so she gets hers done. I have a wife who thinks they are a pain, so she doesn't. If men in my office started getting theirs done, I wouldn't, because I am free to choose. What exactly is the issue here?

You don't have to have long false nails though.

I can't afford them at the moment but if / when I'm back in work I will be having shellac nails.

They don't damage the nail underneath and they start out shorter than my natural short nails.

I totally get this, it's ridiculous. And there are so many examples. There was one anecdote (no idea where I read it) about a woman on stage receiving her PhD. As she was walking back down the stairs off the stage, she had to be helped down due to her wobbly high heels. At this immensely important point in her life, a sign of her intelligence and achievement, her heels reduced her to a toddler-like state in which she had to be helped to walk. Yet heels are seen as essential for a woman in so many professional settings in order to be "smart", whilst men can wear flat shoes, no nail extensions, trousers...

I want to think it's just a fad, kinda thing. Young women and men are much more demanding of themselves (generically) in terms of honed, toned and polished detail.

I do like that women can go to work without makeup or heels, and still be respected (or disrespected, not based on their cosmetics.) This is a big improvement over my career-carving epoch. I don't think women are as constrained by rigid presentation requirements as they were in my day; I'm hoping the pointy nails, scratchy extensions, orange tan, etc, etc, are optional.

I can't comment on nails because I have always been a hopless nail biter but this statement

Something has gone wrong with feminism since I was a teen.

really resonates with me. Despite some things going wrong for women since I was a teen, on the whole, freedom to work and choose when/if to have children, as well as access to higher earning careers has vastly improved (not saying it is perfect now, but it has improved considerably). So you would think, as more women take on "serious" roles outside the home, their less "serious" side (ie their appearances) would become less important. But grooming and appearance is the thing that has actually got worse and more restrictive for women. I don't understand it.

YANBU
Heels, nail vanish and impractical clothes all been seen as essential for a professional woman, While DH just chucks on a clean shirt makes me

So not only does a WOHM have to find time to juggle housework, childcare and work. She also has to find the time and money to attend to pointless grooming and clothes buying.

Oh and change nappies, cook, wash-up, bath babies etc without damaging said nails and find time to shave her legs and go to the hair dresses.

Something has gone wrong with feminism since I was a teen.

I can't understand how people live day-to-day with long acrylic nails. I need to type, use my smartphone etc. - not exactly burdensome physical work but if my nails get slightly too long it is really hard! I just chop them off and file them into shape when they get to this point. I still like to have my nails painted though, but I do it myself rather than go to a nail bar.

My mum insists on having very long acrylic nails and pays a fortune for the privilege of being virtually disabled because of them

The also look bloody horrible

And isn't ironic that young women are encouraged to be artistic via nail art, but actual artists has to actually use their hands to create artworks. False nails gets in the way for that.

Agree. I had long, false nails when I was very young and stupid but very quickly realized how disabling they were. I don't understand why nail art is so popular now, but I have seen it advertised as an affordable way to be feminine, groomed and artistic. It's cheaper than buying a new handbag...but the cost is also that you can't use your hands in a normal way.