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Original poster

To be baffled at the male assumption that random women will wish to engage in sexual inuendo

135 replies

Greythorne · 13/06/2013 09:01

I do a lot of volunteering at my DCs school. I run a library and send out group emails with class info etc. (We are in France).

Yesterday, I send a group email asking for people to return their DCs library books.

One father replied that he would bring the book to the summer fair on saturday. Fine, says I, I will be running the "throw a sponge at the headmaster" stand, so look out for me there.

Father responds: Ooooh, is that the wet tee shirt stand?
Me: Gosh, I hope not. I will be rescinding my offer of help if so.
Father: Oh, don't say that, you might win!
Me: Hmm

WTAF? Why? Why? Why?

I am a forty-something happily married mother running a library (FFS) and still I am seen as a target for sexual banter.

And yet so many women don't want to be feminists. Bangs head on desk.

OP posts:
kim147 · 13/06/2013 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SigmundFraude · 13/06/2013 11:21

'I bet they love you, nudge, nudge.'

Yes. I don't enter into conversations with men whilst bristling with entitlement. I don't tend to have expectations or rules. My DH is very grateful to have me, as he should be Wink

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 13/06/2013 11:13

Thank you. Smile

And I do agree, it certainly goes further. It's just even the dimmest bloke should have got it after your first response.

See, I think it is to do with the way that, as women, we're expected to be good at reading social nuances, and when we get it wrong, we're expected to feel ashamed. By and large the same isn't true of men.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 13/06/2013 11:03

Good Lord, Sigmund, you are a piece of work. Grin

Did nobody teach you any social niceties at all?!

Do you indulge in sexual banter with all men you meet, by default, before you even swap names?!

I bet they love you, nudge, nudge.

Poledra · 13/06/2013 11:01

The thing is, it's not even an off-the-cuff spoken comment that the bloke could potentially be cringing about later, in an opened-mouth-without-engaging-brain fashion. He actually took the time to write it down and still thought it was appropriate.

Original poster
Greythorne · 13/06/2013 10:38

Russky (love the namechange, btw) I agree with you, but I think it goes even further.

Don't engage in sexual banter with a person you have never met before. Simple! I have never met this man, have never exchanged anything but school-related emails. Why on earth would he assume I am up for his sleazy comments?

If he was a platonic friend who engaged in a bit of flirting, that would still annoy me .....but I have never met this man!

Yuck.

OP posts:
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 13/06/2013 10:06

Erm ... I think he was probably supposed to know from her first response!

I could accept the first comment might be made by someone who was just a bit, erm, sleazy or who misjudged his audience. But to carry on suggests you're just a bit of a wanker, doesn't it?

Original poster
Greythorne · 13/06/2013 09:27

Wotmania

Quite. I considered emailing him and telling him to fuck the fuck off with his sleaze but decided against it.

SigmundeFraude
Some people like s and m, but it's not usual to proposition random people about that because - precisely - you do not know which people do like it and which don't.
The point here is that this man assumes all women are up for a bit of random sleaze. It is disrespectful and rude.
HTH.

OP posts:
SigmundFraude · 13/06/2013 09:24

Some women like DO wish to be engaged in sexual innuendo. How was the father who made these comments to you supposed to know which camp you fell into?

WoTmania · 13/06/2013 09:23

I have no idea why they think it's acceptable (why do those comments even come into their minds? Do they not have a brain to mouth filter) and why do other people often minimise/dismiss it with comments like 'oh but he was only joking around, you're being oversensitive' or 'he was just being friendly'. Hmm