To be baffled at the male assumption that random women will wish to engage in sexual inuendo

So sigmunde's point appears to be, that as some women like "sexual inneundo", it is entirely appropriate for any man to say to any woman what equates to "nice tits" at any time. In this case, the woman was a school volunteer who acts as a librarian, and a male parent said it via email.

Holy fucking moly.

What a ginormous load of shit.

I just don't think it's reasonable for anybody to assume, just because the person with whom you are corresponding is of the opposite sex, that they may well welcome sexual banter, unless you are on a date or something. Context is everything.

We have a complete p*k on Gransnet who brings in sexual innuendo completely gratuitously - I think it's a form
of harassment - I report him- they ' have a word'. And then before long the creep is back - this evening he was mocking two posters as virgins who'd never indulged - why the hell should any of us have to put up with this. I have to say however that some of the GN posters indulge him
In a sort of ' boys will be boys way'. And the post remains! What would happen here?

If you don't want a differing selection of replies to your post, don't flippin' post.

'So when I see you coming into threads like this to basically laugh at the OP's unreasonableness and use it as an opportunity display your total disdain for feminism, it makes me, for one, probably be unnecessarily sarcastic. Apologies for that.'

I wasn't laughing. Paranoid, much? I was making a point that some women like sexual innuendo. The OP said that she was baffled by the fact that some men assume that women wish to engage in it. I was stating that some men may assume this, because they have probably come across women who have enjoyed it. It's not difficult to understand is it?

Some people really like racist jokes too, luckily they know (for the most part) to keep the jokes to themselves or only share with other assholes... they don't usually make them to strangers without the risk of being told off

some women like DO wish to be engaged in sexual innuendo. How was the father who made these comments to you supposed to know which camp you fell into?

See op, some people like being sexually harassed at work, you know, despite all the laws against it. So when you politely ignored his first you should have known that other sad women really like being objectified by strangers.

I'd have probably called him on it and asked him if he thought it was appropriate. Or said I was actually a man with a feminine sounding name but he was welcome to come by and say hello.

Really? I doubt that.

I pulled up a male colleague today about some every day sexism he aimed my way. I put my head around the door of a team meeting (not my team) I was due to say a few words at to do some cross selling. The meeting hasn't quite started and I just wanted to check the team leader had remembered I was due to come in and it was still ok. This guy on seeing me said "milk two sugars please dear". I completely ignored him at the time but rang him later and pointed out there was no way he would have said that to a man. He apologised.

You're perfectly entitled not to mind sexual banter with random men sigmund. Well done. However perhaps it might be an idea, what with it being likely that at least some people might be offended, if the default was to no banter, rather than the other way.

And for someone with no time for feminism, you spend an awful lot of time talking about it. I mean I have no time for Morris dancing. Urgh. Time spent ever in my life discussing Morris dancing in online forums = 0 minutes.

Try it.

Sigmund, I recognise your name, and I know you don't have a lot of time for feminism.

So when I see you coming into threads like this to basically laugh at the OP's unreasonableness and use it as an opportunity display your total disdain for feminism, it makes me, for one, probably be unnecessarily sarcastic. Apologies for that.

You don't see any issue at all with men defaulting to sexual innuendo the minute they segue into a conversation, which is great for you.

Um. Is there any need for the outright hostility? And the endlessly tedious references to me being a mantroll etc. I was simply stating that not all women find sexual innuendo irksome/threatening etc. This is a fact, and tbh a shitload of judgement from those who object doesn't do a great to to further your cause. And is one of the many reasons why I don't have a great deal of time for feminism.

But thank you for deiging to take 10 full minutes out of your life to impart your wisdom to us over such an unimportant issue. :)

"banter" like flirting is a reciprocal activity. Initiated by one person, which can then escalate if the other person joined in.

Most people understand this quite basic point about human interaction.

Apart from arseholes like the bloke the OP met though. Who basically thinks that saying (writing!) "nice tits" to a woman is appropriate in a school-related conversation

I totally agree with you, OP. I think a better way to deal with it is to utterly refuse to engage, though (like with the Mantrolls/sexist blokes who pretend to be women on here). So I think that by responding at all, you left him the floor to continue. Icy silence which makes him embarrassed is far better.

Sad that you have to even think about these things though. Twats.

Well, you live in a binary little world, don't you Sigmund?!

Some of us are able to read social cues and indulge in a little banter as and when.

Rather than: default to it, regardless of the recipient/situation fizz and bristle and catsbum over it.

Good approach ^^ this one. Tends not to make one look like an arse.

I think it just comes down to male entitlement really...they feel they can say what they want to women knowing they have the boring yet accepted response of 'Oh it's just a joke..don't be such a prude blah blah'.

It probably livens up the saddos lives!!

It's a (possibly unconscious) desire to make you uncomfotable.

Ignore it and ignore him when you meet him.

He probably heard it all growing up around his male relations and has never had cause to question it.

wanker.

My mother does this, with young men at checkout desks, workmen etc.
I tried to explain once why it was wrong, but she just sees it as lightening the mood. We're here a short time, why not laugh a little.
So maybe the man simply thinks he's funny.