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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

To be baffled at the male assumption that random women will wish to engage in sexual inuendo

135 replies

Greythorne · 13/06/2013 09:01

I do a lot of volunteering at my DCs school. I run a library and send out group emails with class info etc. (We are in France).

Yesterday, I send a group email asking for people to return their DCs library books.

One father replied that he would bring the book to the summer fair on saturday. Fine, says I, I will be running the "throw a sponge at the headmaster" stand, so look out for me there.

Father responds: Ooooh, is that the wet tee shirt stand?
Me: Gosh, I hope not. I will be rescinding my offer of help if so.
Father: Oh, don't say that, you might win!
Me: Hmm

WTAF? Why? Why? Why?

I am a forty-something happily married mother running a library (FFS) and still I am seen as a target for sexual banter.

And yet so many women don't want to be feminists. Bangs head on desk.

OP posts:
PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 11:09

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Hullygully · 14/06/2013 11:07

oh dear notdead

oh dear

shall we ignore him/the construct now?

NotDead · 14/06/2013 11:06

yes sir, sorry sir.

PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 11:04

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NotDead · 14/06/2013 11:02

its not logic mr spock.. its humanity!!

NotDead · 14/06/2013 11:01

CHOCOLATE FORAGING

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 14/06/2013 11:01

I love the logic here, notdead.

'Some women like to feel attractive! You will all feel much more attractive if you are creeped out! Embrace the creep-love, you desperate happily married woman, you!' Er ... whut?

NotDead · 14/06/2013 11:01

you can't say that! it sounds like contraceptive!

PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 10:59

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piprabbit · 14/06/2013 10:54

The fact that the guy made a leap from "school fair/wet headmaster" to "woman in a wet t-shirt (phnar phnar)" makes it creepy not flirty.

If he had gone from "school fair/wet headmaster" to "save me a sponge" to "I'll look forward to seeing you there" then that would be flirty.

PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 10:53

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Chubfuddler · 14/06/2013 10:52

I'd like to email you about your 'library books

That is the worst attempt at a pretend line ever.

Please do not make any attempts to be funny in future. You are not good at it.

NotDead · 14/06/2013 10:51

nope not saying that..just saying that sone people..including men with men and women with women 'hot sandles sister..yum' etc like to feel attractive and are lifted by comments about attractiveness and flirtyness some hate it and think its a barbed comment about their fat or something and others see it as an expression of some massive issue tgey are focussed on at the time.

This is just a pissed off OP about a crass-ish intercgange she is right to call inappropriate if she wants to.. everyone else is fanning flames and I have been happy to be your foil..you're welcome! Grin

SixPackWellies · 14/06/2013 10:51

Russky I just figured out it was you! Grin

I agree with you OP. It is way out of line, and it is utterly baffling that anyone could think such an exchange is okay.

Have had a few of these myself, and I don't find it flirting or flattering, it is just insulting. Also, it is subconsciously 'putting women in their place' and reminding them that at the end of the day you are just an object.

PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 10:48

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Redtractoryellowtractor · 14/06/2013 10:46

this was done through email? Why not respont CCing everyone in so they all get to see what a twat he is (including his wife if he has one)?

Hullygully · 14/06/2013 10:45

also, I don't actually believe a word you are saying.

If you do mean what you are saying, you need pills and/or an education of some sort.

NotDead · 14/06/2013 10:45

no hully work it out for yourself..sheesh..

Hullygully · 14/06/2013 10:45

I think what you are saying, notdead, is that you like to get a little twinge in your yfronts by speaking inappropriately to women and would prefer it if they didn't object as you might have to see yourself as a creep and change your behaviour.

PromQueenWithin · 14/06/2013 10:44

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NotDead · 14/06/2013 10:44

oh no! negative cognition made me do it!!

Redtractoryellowtractor · 14/06/2013 10:43

"Some women like DO wish to be engaged in sexual innuendo. How was the father who made these comments to you supposed to know which camp you fell into?"

really?! are you serious. Surely any decent person wouldn't assume they fell into the camp that like it.

Hullygully · 14/06/2013 10:43

I wonder if you could point out the "catastrophising?"

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 14/06/2013 10:43

How immensely stupid do you have to believe the average man is, to think this is 'difficult'?

I do not think men are actually measurably stupider than women. It's almost like there's really no difference at all. So I do not believe they are actually incapable of working out a very simple social situation to everyone's content.

(I really need a snappy one-liner to post all over the place to the effect that people say they don't like feminism being mean to the men. But their attitude to men makes men sound like pond dwellers while I think they're equal human beings. Which of us is the man hater again?)

NotDead · 14/06/2013 10:43

I'd like to email you about your 'library books Wink