Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

Hearts

That is my impression as well. When I am in the UK and using a credit card or showing my passport, I nearly always get called Mrs. with my maiden (now that's a funny word) name. I haven't thought about it until now, but I suppose they assume Mrs. based on my age or notice that I am wearing a ring.

I have posted before that I really like the Quaker practice of no titles which I first encountered many years ago while living in Philadelphia; outer address with just the name and no title and salutation "Dear Jane Smith," if formal or "Dear Jane" if more personal. I think we are definitely moving in that direction in North America, which I think is a good thing.

My DH does that too Morris, and she constantly asks me 'where's your Hoover? ' , 'do you like your washing machine?'

Re titles - I just want to be called my name. I don't want to be defined by my marital status or my gender. My name is Mary, call me Mary.

It's the total dedication of female body hair that gets to me most at times.
Why?
No.
Ergo it's patriarchal bullshit.
Gah.

I get very, very worked up by the phrases 'cried like a girl' and (as mentioned upthread) 'man up'. I once picked someone up on the former at work and was met by .

I hate the babysitting thing to. I must admit I did use it once a week or two ago. A group of SAHPs (mostly mums) were discussing going out and someone said 'shall we invite other halves' and I said 'no, we need babysitters'. I didn't mean it in the sense that a man looking after the children is babysitting, but just in the sense that we are all parents with children of an age that they need babysitters, and if both parents came we'd need to find outside ones. Afterwards i felt like clearing it up with each of them individually, but resisted the urge .

Two things.

My ex, who used to refer to couples as 'a guy and his wife'. Used to annoy me and he just did not get why, despite my patient explanations.

My DP, who shamelessly milks the patriarchy whenever his mother visits. He sits on his arse and lets her do all the work, knowing fine well that I am hardwired to jump up and help. We're v equal in our house, but when MIL is here it's hello 1975.

I work in healthcare science. I am automatically addressed by so many patients as "nurse". My male colleagues, including those junior to me tend to be referred to as "doctor". Fucks me right off.

Scone I thought that was the case. I've never worked in the States though so didn't want to presume! In general people use titles a lot less in North America than here though I think. Sending a business letter in Canada I would write Jennifer Brown on the envelope, not Ms J Brown, and the letter itself would be addressed to Dear Jennifer, not Dear Ms Brown.

So if we were going to make a change in the UK, what should it be? Should we all be Ms or all Mrs or what? I am sure this has been discussed ad infinitum on here somewhere at some point

Being defined by marriage in an academic environment - academics are known by their professional titles, non academics by Mrs/ Miss with Ms being very much for divorcees. I would just like to be known by my name.

References to 'the girls'....going out with 'the girls' etc - it's been 26 years since I was a 'girl'!

Ah well blondieminx I shall have to un-hoik my judgey-pants then :)

I've just thought of another. We've just changed banks and I didn't spot that the bank manager put our joint account in DH name-My name order despite me being the one leading the discussion and it being my contract details that we gave as the main point of contract. So now all the mail come to my email address but starting "Mr DH NAME". Irritates me every time and it's only been a fortnight.

It is sexist to assume MN tec is male, our university computer technician wasn't.

However, what ever gender you are please fix the site it keeps crashing, hence posting twice.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds
Ms. is the default in the US, too, and has been for a long time.

That the women help our administrator clear the coffee cups and biscuit wrappers up after a meeting and the men never do.

• I'll cross post my comment in the appropriate thread actually so she has right of reply if she wants it.

This is very timely because I need to vent. Today we received an invitation to the wedding of a close family member addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. DH Firstname DH Surname." I have been married to DH for nearly 30 years. I kept my name; I have never used any part of his name. They know this. It pisses me right off. I sent back the little RSVP card and wrote out both our names in full on it. Was that petty? Hope not because it is already in the mailbox.

Malenky it's really true, you put in Ms into the system and it asks for your previous married name and will not take no for an answer.

It is really surprising in the UK actually this Miss/Ms/Mrs thing. When I started my career in Canada in the early 90s absolutely every adult female was Ms. No exceptions. They do it in Germany, every woman is Frau (which used to be missus) and never Fräulein (miss). Why can't we do that here?

I hope it's okay to quote someone's posts from another thread, I'm not up on all the etiquette here yet, but someone on the 'who pays for a first date' thread said 'My boyfriend and I just take turns paying. I'll pay one month, he'll pay the next etc. Although, he likes to be the "man" so to speak so whenever I'm paying I give him the money to hand over :P'

I couldn't help but WTF? at that. I don't think anyone else picked up on it which is weird as they've picked over some fairly minor issues in my opinion. But in that case, if he wants to be the 'man' I'd let him put his hand in his own pocket every month...

That the women help our administrator clear the coffee cups and biscuit wrappers up after a meeting and the men never do.

Sorry AllsWornOut xpost, slow typing on phone!

GREAT thread!

I hate that most of the main characters on CBeebies are male.

It bugs the hell out of me that when I went to test drive a new car with DD to check her carseat (ERF), the dealer wanted to know when DH would be coming in. Put him straight on that one quite gleefully!

grimbletart me and DH do the man drives thing - in the morning I put my make up on in the car (would rather have the 10 mins in bed, ta) and in the evening I knock off any quick phone calls that need to be made! Time management and all that!

YY about men driving themselves to work then the woman leaping out and round into the driving seat. Or the even more annoying version - woman drives to work to pick up man and then leaps out of car so he can drive home

I always take "grow a pair" to mean balls/boobs depending on audience

Whenever I took my car to the dealership the salesman would always talk to my husband (he would drive over separately to give me a lift home). That's why I go to a local garage now with an owner who actually speaks to me.

The opposite of that was when we went to buy a new vacuum cleaner. DH does all the vacuuming and I tagged along to stop him spending hundreds on an all-singing, all-dancing super vac (I'm in charge of our finances). The sales woman started off giving me the spiel, until I told her she'd be better off directing her efforts at DH. To be fair she did then do it, but not without an, "Oh lucky you!" Why lucky? We both work full time so we split the household tasks equally depending on what we least hate doing.

People who say "hubby"

I don't know why, but I really can't stand it almost more than any other word and really judge people for saying it.

"Hun" is nearly as bad, but not quite