Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

Oh yes re: paying for meals.

When they bring the card machine over in a restaurant, put the card in and automatically hand it to DH to deal with. Even though it's my card.

I do the swapping drivers thing though - nothing to do with my gender, I just can't stand driving and will get away with doing it as little as I can (this extends to walking miles rather than getting in a car if I can get away with it - not a gender thing at all).

My male colleagues who swear and then apologise to me because I'm a woman. FFS!

Another thing I've noticed when we were buying cars is that whereas years go it was my husband they directed comments at it is now equal. I think it is one of the benefits of age as a female - post menopausal means you are now a batty old gimmer who is quite likely to chew them up and spit them out if they don't treat you equally with your OH. Too right I am!

Mikki - your point upthread about who organizes childcare drives me crackers! We both work full time and sometimes are away late or overnight. Even if I've 'booked' the night as one I am away weeks in advance and something comes up for DP it's me who has to arrange overnight childcare. Grrr.

The other one is just how easily so many couples drift into gender stereotype roles. So many of my friends both lived alone for YEARS before getting together but the way they (often both) carry on, you'd think the guy had never used a domestic appliance. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

I think this bank thing has got worse in recent years. I've been with the same bank for over 30 years - Abbey, now Santander. My husband switched to it for our joint account and we have always received everything as Mrs Grimble and Mr Grimble.

Another one to add, having just experienced it. If you happen to have a family with just girls and people say that's the end of daddy's blood line then. Agggghh so annoying- are girls somehow not related??! Almost like not having a boy is the end of something, what rubbish IMO.

I feel at home on this thread! Will be back to read properly after work :)

I'll second gingysmummy and the car garage. I leanred to drive about 5 years before DH and the number of garages we went to, and still do when looknig for a new car, and they come over to DH and ask him what he's looking for whilst ignoring me, when his attempt at buying a car involves stipulating the colour and number of doors, whilst I want to know about mileage and hear the engine running and look for signs of rust. You can see the salesmen thinking "oh bless her", except one who remembered me coming to look at mileage etc and treated me as a sensible consumer.

my mum couldn't believe when she knew it was my name listed in the phone book not my dh,it has been for 20 yrs not planning to change it.Also when buying a car the salesperon kept speaking to my husband not me,i actually said tio them excuse me but would you mind speaking to me as i'll be buying it needless to say i was so pissed off i went elsewhere

I took dh surname for everyday things so we all have same surname inc DC
for professional things and my own bank, savings I have kept my maiden name as I was 28 when married and had built up a professional life

if people ask me my name I say first name only, no honorific and no surname, it suits me

Lloyds TSB have my name first on our joint bank account, because I filled in the form.

I really like DP's surname, but if we were to get married I'd feel a bit of a hypocrite taking it because I have been (quietly) judging my friends who said they wouldn't take their husband's name and now have (and they weren't even better names!).

Nessalina I had the opposute with natwest. When we married I became mrs hisname. I added him onto mg account and the statements come to mrs s bear and mr. Bear. So my name first. Quite rigbt too :o

Oooh Ness We have a meeting today with her, I'm going to ask her to change them round.

I also have a solicitor one! When we bought our first house the contract had Mr DH surname and Mrs DH surname. I insisted the solicitor change my name to the correct one (as I kept my name on marriage and have no ID in this other name he'd made up for me) and the solicitor had the temerity to argue with me! "Oh, it doesn't matter, you're married aren't you, that's your real name now, doors it really matter anyway?" I had visions of being unable to prove it was my house in case of anything happening to DH.

We're using a different solicitor for this house purchase and I've already had to ask them to stop sending post addressed to Mr & Mrs DH first name last name as I'm the one dealing with all the paperwork. At least all the preliminary paperwork does have my right name on it this time.

The titles and changing surname thing really gets to me. I've started to put 'Ms' on forms now, and don't intend to change my name when I get married. My mother didn't, and I never really thought about why until recently (didn't feel like she should have to).

I hate the 'don't cry like a girl', 'grow a pair', and the fact men often don't wear pink as it is seen to be too 'girly'. But most of all I hate that I have been guilty of thinking these things in my head before, that they are so entrenched in my thinking. Want to give myself a slap as soon as I catch myself thinking any of it! I hate that I identify as a feminist but still seem to think these things without even realising. Argh!

Ooh, I can beat your bank tale, MRD.

When DH and I did our wills in contemplation of marriage, my lawyer told me that my name would automatically change on marriage and I'd have to take action to change it back.

Super lawyer, he was.

AllSWornOut - the exact same thing happened to me! I handle all our finances and dragged DH (at that time DP) down to the bank to add HIM on to MY existing current account, and not only did they put his name ahead of mine, but incorrectly changed the spelling of my name! Switched banks soon after...

No titles would be good!

Changing surname on marriage and using the father's surname as the default for children does irritate me. In school I have now even adopted children's surname as I encountered a very pointedly sniffy reaction in one of my kid's teachers, ridiculous perhaps but I didn't want to colour others' reactions to my chidren. We live in a fairly far flung corner of UK where seemingly no-one (well no woman) keeps their own name upon marriage !

Hahahahahahaha.
eradication.
Oh dear, it's getting late!

My body hair is very dedicated Badvoc

One thing I have noticed - again not scientific, just observation - is that when I have been on a flight with a female pilot or first officer they generally don't introduce themselves until either half way through the flight or at the end.

Maybe this is because both my DH (who identifies as a feminist) and my BF (female, with a masters degree in feminist film theory) have both said on finding out "i wouldn't have got on the plane if I'd known it was a woman pilot" - they claim in jest.

Well of course there is. They neeed to know whether theyshould be mmarketing cushions with kittens on and pot pourri, or law mowers and barbecues at you

When buying a present from a John Lewis gift list, you have to choose if you are male or female.

I asked the recipients if each gift came with a note "these champagne glasses are from Trills, she says..." followed by the message that I had put into the message box.

The answer is no. There is no reason why John Lewis would need to know if I'm male or female.

YYY I think doing away with titles would be very good.

My DH used to say babysitting. He now understands that when it's your own kids it's actually called parenting.