Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

583 replies

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 11/06/2013 17:08

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots. Smile

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Confused Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

OP posts:
Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 19:13

Quite.

I dunno ... do men get this to the same extent? I can't think they do really. I mean, I've seen a lot of vitriol towards (eg) Simon Baron-Cohen, but rarely the implication he must be some wet-behind-the-ears junior.

OP posts:
AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom · 20/06/2013 19:09

Jeez that research thread has turned nasty. She says at the top of the thread exactly who she is and her qualifications, and yet people are practically making out she's doing an A-level project the way they are talking to her (not that you should be rude to someone doing that either).

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 19:07

Oh, grrr.
That is annoying.

And do mention it - I suppose it's the only way we get it changed, is letting people know it's fucking annoying.

upto - yeah, she is very poised.

OP posts:
PromQueenWithin · 20/06/2013 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PromQueenWithin · 20/06/2013 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UptoapointLordCopper · 20/06/2013 18:57

She's very poised though. I like here, though have no particular interest in her research. At the moment, anyway.

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 18:43

Ah, I probably am OTT. I should shut up, it's bad form thread-about-threading, I was reading into it I guess.

OP posts:
PromQueenWithin · 20/06/2013 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 18:40

Oh, I'm probably being mean. It wasn't the challenging, it was the assumption she was ignorant/early on in her career.

I suppose I am just wondering how many men would come on MN, explain they're doing research and have been for years, and have people conclude it was an unfunded PhD.

I may be overreacting.

OP posts:
PromQueenWithin · 20/06/2013 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 18:29

'you guys' = feminist in shock reverts to automatic sexism.

Go me. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 20/06/2013 18:28

Have you guys seen the last few posts on this thread? Shock

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/media_nonmember_requests/1775976-How-and-why-do-men-use-Mumsnet-Please-help-with-my-university-research-into-male-use-of-parenting-forums?msgid=39811888#39811888

I've no clue who the OP is (some people seem to 'know', I just haven't googled her). But she's paid to do her research and all. I was just thinking of prom's post about being a keynote speaker and getting asked to take the coats!

OP posts:
sashh · 20/06/2013 00:54

And how often on a motorbike do you see a man on the pillion?

An ex of mine took me to meet some women he had been teaching first aid to. We got to the pub and he was telling them that he had bought a motorbike.

One woman asked, "Do you go on the back of his bike?"

Me "No, but he goes on the back of mine"

He only had a provisional licence

Quangle · 19/06/2013 22:46

I've had a similar experience prom

My learning was never to stand near the badges table at a conference. A trail of men will come up to you to ask for their badge and to ask the way to the toilets.

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 19/06/2013 22:42

I seem to remember when I was at school, being told that it was impolite to refer to a baby's 'sex'. Hmm

I did go to an absurdly prissy school, though.

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 19/06/2013 22:40

OK, I feel I'm going mad here but this THIS - has 'gender' become a polite synonym for sex [Miranda style voice]? Does nobody use the words 'gender' and 'sex' correctly any more? Or is it just me?

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 19/06/2013 22:22

Jesus, prom.

I somehow skipped over your post just now.

Jesus. How fucking rude!

It'd almost have been worst if you'd been the junior person on their first conference, though - imagine, you'd probably never have come back.

OP posts:
Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 19/06/2013 22:20
Grin
OP posts:
scallopsrgreat · 19/06/2013 22:16

Yep fuck off is my usual response Grin

Original poster
MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 19/06/2013 21:59

I like 'fuck off' as a response to 'smile, love'.

I know it is needlessly aggressive, but it makes me feel happy, so in the end the bloke has achieved his aim, has he not? Smile

(No, I don't do it with blokes who're simply inane and think it's a nice thing to say, only ones who're being sleazy tossers.)

OP posts:
PromQueenWithin · 19/06/2013 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo · 19/06/2013 21:42

I think I'd have actually really enjoyed that myself PQ Grin

Like almost actually helped with coats just to see their face when someone recognized you

BlackSwan · 19/06/2013 21:38

PromQueen, was it a male venue staff member? You don't say...

scallopsrgreat · 19/06/2013 21:28

Blimey PQW! I think I would have felt a bit stabby at that!

Third - that party sounds horrific. I'm with you, snob feminist that I am.

Rosa - do you think the teacher would have said the same thing to a father. Probably not.

PromQueenWithin · 19/06/2013 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread