Mid-career retention of women - "we need better childcare provision"

Yes. Very annoying that the woman should need to justify working. Either your family need the money so it's ok, or you're a hard nosed career woman. I work for the same sorts of reasons as dh does.

The thing that makes me as a teacher of girls is that whenever this issue is discussed in the media it seems to be framed as 'cost of living so high, both parents need to work, childcare so expensive' all of which is true (in London and the southeast anyway) but in the case studies, none of the women ever seem to say that they want to work because they enjoy their jobs and are good at them. It seems to be unacceptable for women in this day and age simply to work because they want to and that makes me very cross because no-one ever seems to think a man becoming a father precludes him continuing to take his career seriously, even if he has to cut his hours back a bit.

I also very much agree with the posters upthread who said that the more senior you are and the more in demand your skill set, the more incentive an employer has to retain you. Although in my case that meant I left having a child nearly too late.

What should I be advising my students? Get as far as you can as quickly as possible and pick your partner very carefully? I did have one girl say 'I'm just going to marry someone rich - it all sounds like far too much work'.

I was promoted in to a managerial rold with a 7 month old. Why would it make the slightest difference that I have children. I am still the same as before, and will not be slowing down.

If you are always there, not tired, act keen and absolutely no different to pre kids then that wont happen.

petey But that doesn't cover other people's assumptions, over which you have very limited power. E.g. "She's got young kids, she'll have too much on at home for this juicy project, we'll give it to Bloggs" (who also has young kids, but isn't assumed to be responsible for them).

I think the mental responsibility for organising household/childcare tasks can be pretty onerous in itself, if not shared. I.e. if a couple share the physical tasks entirely 50/50, but only one is responsible for making sure it all gets done, then I'd consider that a pretty unfair distribution.

So would agree with OP, where responsibility lies is important.

The house isnt my responsibility, and I have never called it that. If you are that type of person then a man will never make a mug out of you. You are only treated as you allow yourself to be.

Working ft gives me the cash to outsource a lot of the domestic work along with childcare. I have a live-in aupair and she is a godsend.

5 and 3 here

Mine are here for breakfast and / or after school & nursery most days. The little one in particular is not terribly biddable

Mine are 5 and 1 but they dont have much out in the week as they are out until 5/6pm so they dont make mess really.

TBH it's not that difficult, but it takes some organising.

Mine are 7 and 9. They clean up after themselves, but they have a lot of growing up to do and it's the keeping-them-on-the-straight-and-narrow that is difficult... On top of that we have two languages to keep up and some musical instruments to learn and some feminist concepts to discuss...

I do shopping banking etc in my lunch break at work, that's no trouble at all.

The children are small though and still at the food on floor / piles of washing / toys all over the place stage which is just GAH! Get in from work and it's like a bomb's hit and I'm probably lazy but bunging on a wash / hanging one up / doing dishwasher / cooking (or variations thereof) is as much as I'm going to do.

And so slowly we sink...

GAH again!!!

I never said it did. When I was working part time though the house was in a better state than it is now. We're fighting a losing battle at the mo unfortunately, not sure what the solution is! Never mind.

Housework is easy.

Cooking is easy.

Cleaning is easy (especially if you've employ a cleaner, as I do ).

Tidying up is easy.

Online banking is easy.

Shopping is easy.

Children, on the other hand, are not easy. They are fun, funny, interesting, challenging, but easy they are not. (At least not mine, she says, after managing a meltdown with some success). But I like them and will not have them any other way.

Trying to get children to chip in to do housework is most definitely not easy.

certainly not as complicated as a home needing full time attention

Whether there is lots of housework or not depends on many factors including age of children, where they are being looked after and by who, working patterns of parents and so on.

Not as simple as yes there's lots, no there isn't.

unless one lives long Leat a home doesn't require ft housewife input
bills etc pay by dd,or online,cook in bulk,and chores ongoing
frankly any task can expand if its given time to.but that's preference not necessity

I find it the easy tbh. No cooking of food for kids from mon-fri. They get healthy meals so if me and dh want easy stuff then I dont feel any guilt. Nothing to tidy up from mon-fri as no toys out as not in. Shopping all in one go takes half an hour all thats left is couple of washing loads, and checking internet banking now and again.

it only eats time as you a low the task to expand to available time
banking can be done online/phone.shopping online,click collect,cook in bulk freeze
I can assure you we work ft. a home doesn't need that ft attention.no way

Also there is hardly any work at all involved in running a house if you wotk full time.

Petey, I have to disagree with you there.

There?s still washing/cooking/cleaning/banking/shopping/DIY/
gardening/other household admin to be done. In no way can it be described as ?hardly any work? just because there are no children present!!

It still eats significantly into time not otherwise taken up with sleeping, being at work or hobbies and still needs to be shared fairly between the occupants of the house.

Idlevice, all parents of under-16s can request flexible/part time working now and the business can only turn it down with a good business reason.

Regarding access to childcare, surely it depends on the commute? Most people prefer to have childcare near home and not take a child on a commute, so how could an employer make arrangements with a local nursery? Also, unless both parents work at the same place, if they share responsibility for pick ups and drop offs, the childcare needs to be near their home.

opt out isnt a great option IMO either.after years training I wanted to participate.not opt out

Havent read the thread but child care should be provided by the government.
And agree with OP, women should chose their partners very very carefully.