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Original poster

Feminism for Dummies.

209 replies

Ilovemyself · 20/05/2013 20:45

Ok. Here goes.

Apologies if I have offended anyone with my posts since I started using the site. I certainly didn't mean to.

I am all for equality, be it based on sex, race, sexuality, or whatever subculture you area member of.

I have been surprised at the level of vitriol aimed at me because of my (rather poorly worded )comments.

I understand that in every fight for equality there will be those for who the fight is an ever consuming thing. And there will also be those who have been down trodden for so long they will snap at the slightest thing against them. And that there will be those who feel that because they have been oppressed for so long it is their right to be in a dominant position.

For those that want to tip the balance in the opposite direction, I will always disagree. Equality is what we should aim for in all walks of life. These are those who I referred to when I said taking things too far - for promoting something other than equality.

But for the other groups, should I walk on eggshells for fear of offending them, or should say my piece, apologise if I offend, and carry on.

Or am I completely wrong in viewing feminism as a fight for equality when it is actually a fight for women to be in a dominant position over men.

I hope I get some answers here - I certainly don't want a repeat of the last 24 hours. Thanks all.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 21/05/2013 02:08

BasilBabyEater

I really like the way you express feminism "I don't want equality with men or dominance over men - I want liberation from patriarchy." I had never thought of it that way, (slaps forehead with hand and makes Homer Simpson 'Doh' sound). I would always think in terms of equality, but it is refreshing (for *me) to think of what is stopping equality rather than a constant 'striving' to get it. I mean I already feel equal, but 'life' isn't treating me equally!

Can I ask, how do you view women who are caught up in patriarchy and seem to want it to continue? (feel free to slip me a link because I have not tried to define my feminism in a long time and it is helpful to be able to really explain what I mean). Thanks.

WhentheRed · 21/05/2013 00:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HullMum · 21/05/2013 00:24

well "equality" would mean women suddenly declaring a matriarchy and shitting on men for a few thousand years. That would be making things equal.

Women are supposed to shut up and let things keep working as they have been while men tell us we can't go past "equal". How come? do you think being a woman is a bad thing in this society? If so do you challenge every bit of casual sexism you hear? Protest, demonstrate petition?

Or do you only take to writing when you think a woman might be getting above herself and wanting more than equal?

If you are really interested in feminism, you'd read before assuming you have something valid to explain to the women involved.

FloraFox · 21/05/2013 00:21

You've expressed surprise at the way you were treated on the other thread. People here have pointed out why your posts were and are inflammatory and pointed you to some useful information which answers the questions you've asked. You've said you're not listening and you plan to carry on as you were.

Righto. Biscuit

Original poster
Ilovemyself · 20/05/2013 23:25

Perhaps I am just useless at explaining what I mean. I have not warned anyone about anything. Yes, I am a man that has wandered into a female dominated world. Perhaps someone could actually help.

And about " telling people off for swearing" - isn't common courtesy something that is not a feminist thing, it is something we should all aspire to.

I just get the feeling that people want to read something in this to argue with. My comment about tipping the balance would be the same if we were talking about any other equality rights issue. It's about equality.

I have asked a serious question. Should I walk on eggshells for fear of offending people. Surely that is not what people fighting for equal rights would want if they want us all to be equal.

I have not said that feminism is anti men, I have said that I feel that those that are anti men are a step to far. Again, how can that be equal?

And am I being overly simplistic to think that true equality would render a patriarchal system useless anyway?

I will start listening when someone tells me what it is with my questions that they think is wrong, offensive, or rude. Until then my questions wil be asked in various ways but will probably sound the same.

I guess some of you just think I am here trolling - I am far from that. I know only too well what prejudices there are out there for various groups. I stumbled here with interest and I will try and find answers to the questions I have

OP posts:
BasilBabyEater · 20/05/2013 22:49

I haven't got a clue who you are so have no idea what has happened over the last 24 hours.

But if you claim that feminists want to "tip the balance (of abuse of power) in the opposite direction" then tbh I immediately switch off because I find people who have that view of feminism are generally just hostile to women and that's why they don't like feminism.

But fwiw, i don't want equality with men or dominance over men - I want liberation from patriarchy.

HTH

WilsonFrickett · 20/05/2013 22:40

Or... You could try listening? Which is kind of the opposite of what you are doing. Can you not see that coming into a feminist space and basically telling everyone what they're doing wrong is going to be seen as patronising at best and infuriating at worst?

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 20/05/2013 22:24

I hope I get some answers here - I certainly don't want a repeat of the last 24 hours. Thanks all.

Well that's a shame because you've just done the exact same thing you've been doing for the last 24 hours. Someone once wrote a famous quote about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

It was me who suggested you start a newbies thread but this is not exactly what I had in mind Hmm

Do you really not understand how rude you are being?

You have come blundering onto a feminist forum and wagged a finger at us, warned us against 'taking it too far', warned us that there are women here who want to 'take over the world' and then, to add insult to injury, told us off for swearing. (I was going to post that on the other thread but it does as well here.)

I find it hard to believe that you are genuinely interested in feminism but just for the lurkers who might click on your somewhat less than honest thread title, here's a good place to start.

FloraFox · 20/05/2013 22:07

Can I suggest that you read a little about feminism and perhaps lurk for a bit before coming on with "you lot do/believe/want x, y, z" type statements? There's another thread discussing feminist books but there's also lots of unbiased information on the internet (if you avoid the Daily Mail and MRA type sites).