To love honor and 'obey'

Lordy - I didn't say obey in 1966. I was a feminist before the WLM was even thought of

It is a parallel universe and they are actually medieval. Sneak in a comment about cooking a nice steak for your hubby on Friday and see if they are all at you not eating fish.

I agree, Lotta - I would never have agreed to be given away, I think it's bollocks. BUT I think you can more easily reconcile that as a symbolic / traditional gesture that just flat-out saying the word obey.

The minister who married DH and I said he wouldn't use the words 'and obey' in the wedding service because he thought it had no place in marriage which should be a partnership equal in all ways. And if a couple really wanted it in the service, he'd have to ask them to find someone else to perform their ceremony.

And re 'giving away', if it's a symbolic gesture, why not get 'given away' by both your parents? Or just your mum - she's the one who carried you and gave birth to you (unless you're adopted of course0 after all!

It's a total crock IMHO

Nope, can't for the life of me imagine why any adult would promise to obey another adult, truly bizarre!

They might find it difficult to get a minister/priest/vicar to use the word; mine wouldn't back in 1984. We used "cherish". (I'd been prepared to argue my case against "obey", it simply wasn't an issue.)

Perhaps they are confused between things you sincerely mean at the time ('til death do us part') but that may not turn out to be true in reality and ... er ... flat out lying in your vows.

Tradition is all well and good, you can argue that being 'given away' is a symbolic gesture not meant literally that your ownership is passing from one master to another. But you are actually SAYING the word obey. Therefore you either mean it or you don't say it. If you want to say it (and mean it) that's your call but you can't just say it.

Maybe they are all firm followers of the Surrendered Wife movement?

'Their argument is that it's not to be taken so literally'

Well for the love of sanity why say it then????

It's like a friend of mine called XY who changed her name upon marriage to XA but said 'oh I'll always be a Y at heart'. Well why are you changing it then???

I'm actually not even that surprised - depressed yes, but not surprised. It's just shocking how many men and women go along with rotten stuff like this because 'well it's traditional'.

Any room on that wall for me to bang my head beside you?