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Original poster

What really gets my goat...

35 replies

reallyyummymummy · 27/04/2013 10:39

Starting thread here because I don't really know how else this gets classified. But there has been an issue that has been bothering me for ages.

I have two boys (3 and 2) and I take them to kiddie football classes, not only because they enjoy it but because it sports like this are really good for developing visual spacial skills and builds confidence. In short - it makes you brighter (or so I have read). The thing I have noticed, even at this tender age, is how few girls attend the class and the ones that do get put off because already the class is so dominated by boys. When girls do attend I see that they are just as capable and at this age are actually better because they listen and focus.

I find it really hard watching intelligent women dressing their young girls in tutus and taking them to ballet lessons whilst saying girls are just as good at boys when in actual fact they are not giving their child a chance to develop skills other than competitive prettiness and have their confidence knocked by the fact that actually chances are they won't have particularly good coordination.

It is a bit of a rant I know but DH and I were discussing the issue of girls and sport last night and we both made different points. His being that girls tend not to be as strong on ball sports and boys and me making the point that girls seem to start life at a disadvantage because they don't get to play ball sports at a young age.

Are my observations completely unfounded? Or is there truth to it from a feminist perspective? Interested in you thoughts.

OP posts:
tribpot · 27/04/2013 12:43

Not sure why you think (presumably your rather than all?) boys shouldn't do ballet. One way of addressing the lookism is to introduce boys to the mix - no-one's gonna judge them based on the quality of their hair accessories, after all.

The ballet class you are describing though does sound awful. I wouldn't want a dd of mine (if I had one) to go to it. As far as I know the one my friends' dds go to isn't like that at all.

I think one of the advantages of football (or netball, hockey or other team sport) is that the team performance is as important as the individual one. Although strictly speaking that should be true in ballet too, of course! There is a mix of different skills and so if your child is not such a fast runner, for example, it doesn't mean they can't be a valuable member of the team.

I think you're right, though, that girls are more disadvantaged in ball sports because of low expectations than low ability. Plus as a team sport you need a critical mass in order for there to be enough other girls to play against given few sports have mixed sex teams past the junior level.

McBalls · 27/04/2013 12:40

Proper sport. Ah, I think you're just on the wind-up.

McBalls · 27/04/2013 12:39

You certainly have a point, particularly about activities being dominated by one gender being off putting and so on it goes but I think you're being unfair.

Why is ballet 'competitive prettiness'? Does that not mean football is just competitive laddishness?

Why would ballet knock the confidence in a way that football wouldn't? So not all girls will have a natural aptitude for ballet but the same goes for the children signed up to football classes.

I also find your belief that lack of ball skills = being disadvantaged. Really? Just ball skills? There's no advantage at all in dance?

"When girls do attend I see that they are just as capable and at this age are actually better because they listen and focus." Righto!

Original poster
reallyyummymummy · 27/04/2013 12:35

Maybe I am doing the same thing. But I hope if I had a girl I would encourage her to do proper sport as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
reallyyummymummy · 27/04/2013 12:34

I would not want boys to do ballet lessons. I have a problem with girls learning ballet. Where I live ballet is an excuse for the mother's to be competitive about how gorgeous their children are and sets a really bad example to girls. I feel it is saying that we live in a lookist world where they will be valued for the way they look and dress.

I am more thinking about why do girls end up doing ballet? Most aren't very good and get put off early on. Why do intelligent mothers aspire to their children learning it when there are other things on offer they could be doing?

OP posts:
WadsCollop · 27/04/2013 12:28

You're doing the same thing though, aren't you?

My DD goes to ballet because she wants to. Confused It's excellent for rhythm, coordination, balance, all kind of things. I don't understand why you think football is any better. It's all about choice, no?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 27/04/2013 12:24

Ballet shouldn't be about competitive prettiness, if it's being done right.

Otherwise, I agree with you that it's a shame gendering sports happens even at this age.

DoTheStrand · 27/04/2013 11:09

My DS1 is 3.10 and does rugby - there is one girl in his class and about 9 or 10 boys. It is almost always the dads taking them too, occasionally mums but often I am the only mum there. (That is probably as it is at weekends and they see it as a dad/son bonding experience). It does seem odd especially at this young age before peer pressure kicks in.

I chose rugby for him as I wanted him to improve his coordination, have something to get us up and out if the house on weekend mornings, and importantly to give him a link/bond with his much older half brothers who both did rugby - they do help him practise when they see him. So a laudable aim though you could argue I am just perpetuating the stereotype that made them do rugby themselves.

DS1's girl friends do ballet if they do any sports classes.

TheCrackFox · 27/04/2013 10:54

Maybe your boys would enjoy ballet lessons?

Snorbs · 27/04/2013 10:49

I think there's a lot in what you say. Sport (as with so many things) becomes gendered so early. For children I haven't seen any substantial difference between boys and girls at any sport. And even if there were I don't think it should make a difference to their participation.

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