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Original poster

"window shopping" in Amsterdam

37 replies

chocoluvva · 04/04/2013 22:27

DD (16)'s male friend - who seems lovely: kind, affectionate, unpretentious, hard-working, fun - is planning to go to Amsterdam in the autumn with his mates to celebrate their 18th birthdays.

He told me this when I asked if he was doing anything special for his birthday next week. "Window shopping" is his phrase. He also joked about bringing me a special cake back. I didn't make much comment at the time, but I was in two minds about expressing my disapproval.

Any thoughts on what an appropriate response would have been?

OP posts:
Bunnylion · 05/04/2013 18:26

Amsterdam is a wonderful city for many reasons and I go there often.

I can't stand the normalisation of prostitution with the red light district. What really baffles me is when I regularly hear women and men talk about visiting the red light district, like its a spectacle of a tourist attraction - a must see, along with Anne Franks house and eating pancakes.

Original poster
chocoluvva · 05/04/2013 10:40

I consider myself to be quite liberal and try not to be judgmental - I'm always trying to instil compassion in my DC re alcoholics, homeless people, young girls who wear too much make up etc etc - I let DD's now ex BF stay over before she was 16. I go on and on about respecting other people's beliefs.....but I really hate the prevalence of porn and the thought of prostitution.

I'm so disappointed in this otherwise really nice lad. He seems to dote on DD - always offering to do things for her, gives her little presents, is openly affectionate; he seems like someone with a big heart and loving nature, but the thought of him hanging around the 'red light' district of Amsterdam makes me feel horrible.

OP posts:
PretzelTime · 05/04/2013 10:14

Ask him if he think it's okay to shop humans.

maidmarian2012 · 05/04/2013 09:35

Wow, me and my DSis had this same conversation yesterday re her wanting to visit amsterdam. I personally would not go withing 100 mile of it.

But hey thats just me, as many women there are doing it willingly there are women forced into it. I don't like those odds.

We have bred a culture which makes it seemingly socially acceptable for young lads to do this OP.

I understand why it makes you uncomfortable, OP.

Totally unrelated, an old friend of mine (very pretty, only 24 at the time) took up lapdancing, followed by escorting (prostitution by a fancy name) and she got waaay in above her head. She hung herself at 26. Sad Angry

Original poster
chocoluvva · 05/04/2013 09:24

Thank you for your replies.

He seems such a nice lad....

He likes to joke and 'banter' so I wasn't completely sure how serious he was being - the drugs was definitely joking, but he's going with mates - Amsterdam rather than anywhere else.

I was torn between not wanting to discourage him from being open about things (rather than secretive) probably to no effect anyway, and making it clear that I think less of him for choosing to ogle prostitutes. Factual info about the nature of it might put him off indeed.

It just makes me feel threatened on behalf of my daughter and uncomfortable for reasons I can't quite explain. More disappointed than anything else.

OP posts:
Bunnylion · 05/04/2013 00:42

Your not being over sensitive. It's difficult because he will probably see anything you say as some boring old woman's view on sex, and that you're out of touch.

Maybe speak to your daughter about it and if she agrees then hopefully she is able to tell him how wrong it is.

I remember when I was a teenager talking about prostitution with friends. I said that I could never be with a man who had used a prostitute as he obviously has very little respect for women. A female friend of mine left the table crying and her boyfriend looks very embarrassed. I had no idea that he had, but at least shaming him by talking about it may have made the other boys there think about it a bit more.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 05/04/2013 00:09

This one's better

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 05/04/2013 00:01

Show him

Redbindy · 04/04/2013 23:50

An appropriate response would depend on your view of teenagers soliciting prostitutes and smuggling drugs.

SatsukiKusukabe · 04/04/2013 23:45
  • window shopping for humans is kinda disgusting.

actually dont approve of it for puppies for the record

SatsukiKusukabe · 04/04/2013 23:42

I'd have said something along the lines of oh are you buying a puppy?

Original poster
chocoluvva · 04/04/2013 22:35

Am I being over sensitive? I suppose it's preferable to Ayanapa (spelling?)

OP posts:
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