Women have their little careers till they have babies. Then they do as little as possible, preferably not working at all after that

Op,you work and opine why don't mums work after having baby?
Seeker has posted she doesn't work by choice after having baby?
What do you both have in common?

Well wipe my eyes,that's quite a dramatic summation nailak and not what anyone said

so basically are we saying, as women we should never make ourselves vulnerable in case someone takes advantage of that?

is this only financially or emotionally to?

I mean why fall in love? have children? that is making yourselves emotionally vulnerable, it means someone is able to hurt you...

I just dont get it tbh.

Like those women who get married and are abused the worst part of the situation is not that they were hurt physically and emotionally, but the fact they were hurt financially.

No woman should make her self financially vulnerable in case she needs to LTB. However why not just say no woman should fall in love or be in a long term relationship incase he turns out to be a B?

seeker, you are not speaking of yourself, I hope. If you find yourself getting emotional, it is time to take a deep breath.

"seeker, I am sure scottish can defend herself but you are getting uncomfortably personal about her in her posts ..."

Wasn't it you said something about if you can't take the heat......

Do I see Money as validation for my work,yes i do.of course. Why not
As do the men who Maintain their families,partners on this thread,enabling them to be unwaged by choice
Is money be all end all,no.but I've worked,studied hard fir what I've got

blueshoes

What can I say, I am sorry you would be financially vulnerable by sah. I think its important to teach our children that its not a good idea to be financially vulnerable. I feel my parents taught me well as I am able to make choices in life that do not make me financially vulnerable, including sahm.

your posts

seeker, I am sure scottish can defend herself but you are getting uncomfortably personal about her in her posts ...

Seeker it's immaterial what you think of my post style
I dont recall your post style,nor is it significant.
your pov significant And i will comment on posts as i wish

potatoprints, I don't remember all of what you wrote about your circumstances but I remember them to be atypical of a lot of SAHMs.

I don't think you are doing women who are about to make themselves financially vulnerable a service by using yourself as an example. Of course you would not teach dd to be dependent on a man, that would be absurd. But if you don't tell her that SAHM-ing as a choice makes her financially vulnerable, then that is shielding her from the truth.

FWIW, I was earning 3x dh when we married and had (still have) a lot of assets in my own name from pre-marriage. I would still consider myself to be financially vulnerable if I totalled my earning power by staying at home for anything longer than one year.

"Why undertake unpaid work at all? Women can also help their cause by demanding fair pay for their efforts."

Because I don't see money as validation for my work. I don't want money for work. There has been times where charity groups have offered to pay me for sessions in children centre etc, and I have said I would do it for free.

Oh it's not because you're Scottish. I only know you're Scottish because you say you are, not because of the way you post. It is just colossally arrogant to think"it's up to them to work out what I mean". Like shouting really loudly in English when you're in France. it's not big, as they say, and it's not cover.

Seeker, belittling is in your head. No one can make you feel belittled if you don't let them.

Same as no one can make me or dh feel a crap parent because one of us is not with our dcs at home fulltime.

I am very happy to debate it though. It is not personal. Even if you don't change your views - which you won't - someone else can read it and gives them pause to challenge their own assumptions and conditioning.

Scottish

You what?

blueshoes.

If you have read my posts I am more empowered than most women I know. I am in a really good place and why would I teach my dd she has to be dependant and reliant upon a man? I most certainly am not at all and couldn't stand being like this

Seeker,whilst i dont concur with you I'm not so presumptuous as to say change post style
Strikes me when I get the you is too Scottish/bad syntax/is you drunk that they can read enough to know wbat they no likey
Funny that....

"seeker, you have got your knickers in a twist and somehow got hung up on role models. Not sure what I can say."

Possibly acknowledge that it's not as black and white as you are saying it is? And consider why you find it acceptable to belittle women who choose to look after their own children. I don't belittle your choices- why do you think it's Oak for you to do it to mine?

blueshoes

I don't know why but i have a habit of attracting people who are desperate for help, my mum said i was always like it.

On two occasions very many years ago and about 10 years ago I offered to help two men who had both been left holding the baby, so to speak. Both their wives left them. One had a 6 month old baby the other had 4 dc under 12.
Now obviously they needed support and help the same as a mother would, but they managed and only needed the same support not much more.
They did the same as we do, manage because there is nothing else to do when you have dc.
Men are as capable as we are.
The man with the 6 mth old was mostly concerned about bf mothers at toddler groups and if he would be accepted. He was soon assured they wouldn't mind in the slightest. His dd is nearly 25 now, unfortunately life hasn't given her much luck. But thats another story

It would be ever so much easier if you were a little less- idiosyncratic- in your posting style. Then people might not think you were drunk.But then everybody wouldn't be so very impressed by your "Youneekness" would they?

seeker, you have got your knickers in a twist and somehow got hung up on role models. Not sure what I can say.

potatoprints, women have overwhelmingly exercised their choice to opt out of the workplace or go pt after having children. They don't need feminism to tell them they can do that. They should however be aware that opting out also means it is detrimental to the cause of your dd and other women to have a bigger voice in society and how it is run.

Why not exercise the choice of empowerment, self-reliance and independence than the choice of vulnerability and dependence on men instead? I cannot see why feminism would not advocate that equally if not more.

Why you strikeout am i drunk?
touch of the passive aggressive?
Drunk is that your putdown when you don't like the pov