Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Women have their little careers till they have babies. Then they do as little as possible, preferably not working at all after that

531 replies

StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2013 13:27

I am infuriated by this attitude which seems to be prevalent. After women have had babies they only work if they have to, and go part time if they can. But I can't put into words why I work - why wouldn't I? I work for the same reasons as I did before I had children. I work for the same reasons as DH works.
Either of us could give up work and we'd cope. But that was true pre-children. Women continuing to work FT seems to be a slur on their man's ability to 'provide'.

OP posts:
purplefairies · 03/04/2013 13:40

I don't have DC (yet), but I can totally identify with this:

"But I can't put into words why I work - why wouldn't I?"

I work not just because I love what I do, or because we really need the money (we could survive on DH's salary alone, I suppose), but because I just generally think that "that's what you do", as long as you are a healthy, able-bodied member of society.

Some of my friends are becoming mothers for the first time and sentences like "well obviously I'll only be going back part time after maternity leave" make my blood boil. Not because I think that going back part-time is wrong, but because it is assumed that it's such an automatic thing that one person WILL go part-time and that, generally, that person will be the woman.

StuffezLaBouche · 03/04/2013 13:38

Ah, I see where you're coming from. Well, a bemused "erm, fine thanks, I've always been full time?!" Would be my response.

Original poster
StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2013 13:36

Stuffez, I know there are women who work until they have babies then stop and that is fine by me - whatever works for each family. But its the underlying assumption that that is the norm that annoys me - I suppose the two go together. I'm as guilty as everyone else for the stereotyped gender roles - childcare is my issue with Dh "helping" if I ask him to.

OP posts:
Original poster
StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2013 13:34

Hmm. I feel quite irate atbout this thy. and it all ties into the fact that men earn more.
Was asked at the weekend how I cope working ft.fine, but Dh would never be asked - it's default for men to work after all.

OP posts:
StuffezLaBouche · 03/04/2013 13:33

Thing is, I do know women who match your title to a T. Some women don't want to work and choose to work as a mum. Personally though, I'd never put myself in such a financially vulnerable position.

And in ten years time when I'm as high up in my profession as I want to be, I will smile patronisingly at people who genuinely believe women piss about, until they have babies and can live a life of lunches and coffees...

Pootles2010 · 03/04/2013 13:30

I'm same as you - I never questioned going back to work, tbh, although don't always admit this, depending on who i'm talking to.

I think it's more about some people thinking a good mother puts her children first, and that means staying at home.