I don't know why I bother.....anyone else the same?

Explain better than 'thank you'? Jeez, and you wonder why feminism has a communication problem.

Not long after I first joined this board, I got a real chewing out from a poster who is no longer around. She has typed a considered replay to a question of mine. I had read it, and carried on the conversation. She was very angry that I had not acknowledged her reply. She said that a little 'thank you' was the done thing on here, if someone can be bothered to reply to you specifically.

Now months later, I am being patronising because I say thank you to those who replied to my post. You, Rosabud, are out of order. ?Genuine thanks to those who gave a considered reply? means exactly that.

"I just find the constant banging of feminist drums to be boring." You know, I'm a bit sick of this too. Can we have equality NOW please so we can stop this drum-banging?

I don't comment or like feminist posts on FB and I don't identify myself as one. I don't find feminists annoying or "ranty", the honest truth is and to my own shame, I don't understand the entire concept. I obviously want equality for women and do feel that women are sometimes assumed or told they are the primary care givers of children by society and therefore should be kept in the house and kitchen, and I disagree with this wholeheartedly. I also want equal pay equal rights.

However, the part of the concept I don't understand is the "importance" of DV,rape,child abuse. For me (and I could be wrong) these are criminal acts. And are unjust by their definition of being illegal. Yes more women are victims of DV (I know this all too well,unfortunatley) but men do suffer it too, and I feel violence against men can sometimes be swept under the carpet by feminism sometimes. Its my opinion that violence against anyone is unjust regardless of gender,age or race.

But I digress, the main reason is I don't feel confident enough that I know enough to truly partake in feminism. I've tried reading the literature or the blogs but I just don't get the larger picture due to my missunderstanding on criminal acts and their relationship to feminsm.

Sorry if I didn't make sense, and typing on my phone causes me typo problems xx

There has been a lot of argument/ discussion on this thread and others about whether or not feminists "patronise" women who are so influenced by the patriarchy that they cannot understand the arguments of feminist thinking without finding it "ranty" or "boring."

I don't think feminists patronise women, I think most feminists ardently attempt to explain to others why they think the way they do.

However, there are some excellent examples of patronising language on this thread and they include:

"Might it be worth asking......"
"you might find......"
"just a thought"
??.everything will be rosy?
?When you only have a hammer, everything has to look like a nail? (my personal favourite)
?Please feel free to write this off?..?
?I am at a loss???
?I offered a few thoughts?.?
?Genuine thanks to those who gave a considered reply?

Just so we are all clear what a patronising tone really does sound like.

True, stick.

curry - I can't take the credit. I forget who used the word first but I loved it so keep using it.

I have seen people post in FWR before saying that they find it a bit of an intimidating place, and that they are worried about saying the wrong thing. Might it be worth asking the same questions in AIBU? That is a fairly lively board, and you might find people feel more at ease responding. Just a thought.

I have family on my FB who have not all joined the century of the fruitbat. I also have colleagues & a range of acquaintances from across the political spectrum. I tend to avoid controversy

It's not because I don't have a view or wouldn't give it if asked, but I'm less likely to be proactive about it because I can't abide drama (and I've seen fairly innocuous FB posts kick off big time).

I would and have challenged people who posted things I deem offensive, but I tend to keep FB pretty lighthearted otherwise. Perhaps your friends are similar?

I have been posting and sharing things to do with the "One Billion Rising" campaign against DV and nobody could have cared less.

Put a picture of a staffordshire bull terrier etc on and watch the likes roll in.

So yes, OP, I dont know why I bother.

I am disappointed that non-feminists always get so cross on these threads because it makes them incoherent* and we never end up any better informed.

*or maybe they are just always incoherent, who knows

OK that was really sarcastic but I honestly do want to know what annoys non-feminist women so much about feminism. I mean it's not like I can't hypothesise. I do. But, you know, it's matronising (thanks LRD for that word) and it's not the same as someone actually telling you what they think.

MTSgroupie - "you are putting words into my mouth"

For example?

I think 'banging of feminist drums' is when a woman writes/talks about/ even mentions women's issues. A bit uncomfortable for a lot of people - I used to think so too.

Arf at feminists being unable to self-examine.

Most of us bought into those misogynistic stereotypes of feminists before we grew up.

Ah, cross posted.

She's off.

I find feminists horribly matronizing.

Also, I don't have a drum. Not even a misogynistic one.

What exactly is 'banging of feminist drums'? Is it to do with having the indecency to be a woman who expresses what she thinks?

I can quite see how feminists who never express their opinions might be so much more acceptable than the nasty, aggressive kind who have the gall to open their mouths.

"Patronising is a word non-feminists uses a lot"

Now we are supposed to have a list of words that identify us as non-feminist???

You asked me why your non-fem fb friends blank your feminist postings. I suggested to you the reasons why. Instead of self examination you have chosen to make me the issue thus demonstrating the reason why many people show a a reluctance to engage you on feminist issues.

Basically, the answer to your OP is in the feminists postings that followed. Anyway,this thread has gone the way of feminist conversations in the real world ie boring and annoying