Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

"Your surname isn't your own it's your fathers"

33 replies

heidihole · 01/02/2013 16:01

I'm struggling to get my head around an argument I keep hearing.

I'm married and kept my name.

I read a lot of threads on here that say basically "it's not your own name anyway its your fathers, so why don't you drop it and take your husbands"

But by that argument my husbands name isn't his own, it's HIS fathers. So if I'm choosing between my father's name, or my father-in-law's name of course my preference is for my father! He's my family, my dad!

If i'm choosing between my name or husbands name then of course my preference is for my name.

It's not comparing like-for-like to say my names my dads, but DH's name is his.

Does anyone know why people use this stupid argument because it does my head it!

OP posts:
FloraFox · 01/02/2013 16:40

I meet quite a lot of people who are like Hmm that I changed my name, including people who knew me when I was younger. I have occasionally used the father's name argument usually without the follow up "so I chose the name of the man who was actually at the wedding". My mum had already changed her name to her mother's maiden name. Name schmame.

TheFallenNinja · 01/02/2013 16:30

It's a pretty thin argument really. Take the name, don't take the name. It's nobody else's business.

KatherineKrupnik · 01/02/2013 16:28

My name is my mothers name! And the last man it belonged to was my great great grandfather.

PeggyCarter · 01/02/2013 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 01/02/2013 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booyhoo · 01/02/2013 16:20

this is my name. there are many like it, but this one is mine.
Grin

i inherited this name from my father, that is true. but the fact that it is preceeded by 'booyhoo' means that booyhoo is the owner of the name until I decide to change it for another (which i may never do). if i do, i will then own which ever name i decide to attach to booyhoo.

Sunnywithshowers · 01/02/2013 16:11

It's stupid.

I figure that, after having used my name for so long, it's my bloody name.

wem · 01/02/2013 16:04

It's absurd isn't it? I hear it a lot. Usually people who are blindly looking for a reason why keeping your name is wrong and just don't want to think too deeply about it.