This blog is so wrong on so many levels

The loser in the OP is doing exactly what is discussed in the article and writing a charter for other abusers to do the same thing. There are actually quite a lot of these fuckwits doing this game bullshit and others for whom it just comes naturally.

AA, say what you mean, stop holding back

I think the article is a pile of victim-blamey crap tbh.

I not In

hmm, flora

In agree with some aspects of the article in your last link, but it's a bit victim-blaming for me

voices.yahoo.com/relationships-women-whom-abusive-men-would-never-date-6583654.html?cat=41

Gah link fail

voices.yahoo.com/relationships-women-whom-abusive-men-would-never-date-6583654.html?cat=41

This one pretzel

Which article was that Flora?

If you think that's bad google MGTOW. That's where these PUA losers end up when they can't make it work.

serenity I found most of your post very interesting though I'm not buying the hardwired bit for hunter behaviour. "Evolutionary psychology" is inherently not scientific as the subjects can't be studied. Maybe in a few million years scientists can look at our studies of ourselves now and come up with something. Now it's just theorizing based on assumptions, usually deeply sexist ones.

I did like the article about the type of women a users are not attracted to.

When you finally do get in you?ll have the pleasure of saying, into her ear, ?you?re my property now?.

I just showed this to my dh. He said "Is this a wind up? Or is the writer an inadequate teenager who has watched too many romantic comedy films, they always have shit plots like this"

You only have to look at the language used - that women are manipulative, devious etc, without any irony that the entire blog is about how to manipulate women into a relationship.

I actually find this sort of thing quite frightening - men like this do not like women, and it's not a big leap from saying/thinking unpleasant things to acting them out

I think Serenity is actually saying that this man is a knob, not that he's 'right'. And it is true, unfortunately, that some of the tactics he seems to be advocating would work on vulnerable, unhappy people (whether that's to get sex from them, get money from them or generally gain power over them).

But people are not 'hardwired' to victimhood, and can learn to laugh at and walk away from predators. And many con artists are actually rubbish at the 'art' and the response they get is mockery rather than compliance. So in fact publicising blogs like this and laughing at them is a good way to encourage other people to react to this sort of approach in a healthy way ie with derision.

TheOrignalLadyFT

You hit the nail on the head. Guys who tend to this have massive self esteem issues of their own. Their insecurity leads them into playing manipulative mind games and projecting their feeling of inferiority onto other people. The dangerous part is that the feeling of power can be addictive. The contol can also escalate in deviousness & systemic abuse.

Only a very small minority of guys who get into this crap turn bad but some turn very bad. Ted Bundy - America's charming serial killer.

Fortunately most guys never very good at it and have underlying good intentions of just wanting to get a girlfriend and after a bit of initial success their self confidence grows that they do not need this anymore.

Jeez, what that guy needs is a blow up doll - the ultimate "shy girl", with no slutty emotions whatsoever. He certainly shouldn't be allowed to inflict himself on a real woman.

Sadly, a lot of men seems to think like this. Or maybe I've just been unlucky.

I didn't mention any kind of theory. I stated a fact. A hunter is a person who stalks and kills animals.

It would be polite if you could explain what you mean by men being hardwired to be the hunters in relationships.

I simply don't understand what your statement is meant to mean.

Frankly, he sounds like someone with serious self esteem issues with a deep seated need to project his self loathing onto women.

Either that or he's a total wanker who needs a good kick in the crotch

Funny! Your theory is taking this way off topic...

However if you want to put it that at you may want to have a read of an article on a study done of stalking and how some people become delusional. The hard wired part has to with the way people can be manipulated or addicted to Dopamines.

At one point the author said "stalkers could be hard wired" journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?aid=8768972.

As the facts are inconclusive and it is just a theory I will suspend my judgement on that one. It does raise some interesting aspects of why stalkers and sexual predators are so difficult to cure or treat. neuroanthropology.net/2010/05/10/inside-the-mind-of-a-pedophile/

Neuroanthropoglogy certainly has a long way to go.

I don't know what being a hunter in a relationship is meant to mean. Hunting is when you stalk and kill an an animal. Most men don't do this anymore. So how is being a hunter in a relationship hard wired into the brain?

You will also find there are more women in the social and pyschological sciences now than men. It isn't sexism that is hard wired but aspects that allow people to be manipulated. More women are going into university and getting higher grades. Women are now starting to our earn men. I earn more than my partner.

bigthink.com/users/andrewnewberg

We certainly can escape both innate beliefs and societal ones. It's called education and understanding of what the root cause is and how to overcome and recognise bad patterns.

Who knows there maybe hope for you yet to escape doing most of the housework. In my house I get off lightly because of the long hours I work.

"Hard wired" is a term to describe a concept of Pyscological Nativism and Innateness.

Used in cognitive development it describes how some aspects of behavior are present at birth and not learned behaviour. For example how babies can immediately recognise faces and do not have a fear of people.

Any fear that would come later would come from "bad experiences".

In the broader sense it can also include fixed or long term thinking of societal beliefs. It is also being studied to find out if mood disorders are innate or not. Why are some people more depressed on grey days vs sunny days. How much is psychosomatic and how much is innate. When he behaviour was learned - at what stage in brain development.

books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=vELaRu_MrwoC&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=rethinking+innateness&ots=yvd5W_gyX8&sig=xHSEZPH-rLFGbbwHEXxcYyiwWxc

Huge part of being a parent is around cognitive behaviors.

As a parent no matter how much try to influence behaviour traits are still there and society has it's own aspects which seem 'hardwired'. This is a much more loose definition than innate behaviors but from a child's naiave perspective "well all the other kids do this so it must be normal".

The reason why these guys write that stuff is because it actually works. To a degree. For him to be successful he just needs an appropriate victim. Some one who fits his target profile and does not know enough about psychology to see through him and his BS.

This is the same way cults and advertising work as well by understanding the basics of human behaviour and figuring out how to exploit our shortcomings.

As anyone who has ever tried to loose weight, save money, become mate motivated etc.... Will know that knowledge is not enough! Knowing how to eat well is not a magic pill for loosing weight. Habits, coping mechanisms and hard wired beliefs all come into play.

A guy who has a crappy attitude to women and sees them as prey to be controlled, manipulated and out smarted is on the abusive scale whether he is abusive or not. I would be very concerned if I found my son reading books on how to control & manipulate people.

Thankfull, so far he seems a very compassionate young man and wants to study science to make a difference in the world.

"I take your point that it does seem dumb that despite all the evolution we still have some serious shortcomings in being able to overcome 'hard wiring'. "

That wasn't my point actually.

My point was that all this crap about hard-wiring is simply not true. The studies done that "show" it is, have mostly been discredited and not replicable, not peer-reviewed and simply not credible. Or the results are credible, but the conclusions drawn from the results are simply sexist because the men people drawing those conclusions are sexist. They are simply based on a desperate scrabble to prove that the reason we need to retain a male-supremacist society, is because nature wants us to and we can't escape our hard-wiring. It's all bollocks.

Looks like a PUA got on the thread. It was only a matter of time wasn't it.

*(...)they like mops because during evolution, they found that men with really messy hair (like mops) brought home most unicorn-flesh. I have no evidence whatsoever for this, but nevertheless it is true and accounts for why women should do more housework than men.

And men like blue because during the ice-age, their dicks went blue on account of the cold. And they have some sort of genetic memory of that which means that now they have a hard-wired instinct to wrap their boy-children in blue as a nod to that era.*
Quoted because it's beautiful

Apparently men should aspire to be 'gentlemenly cavemen'? I don't - I can't even- head explodes
I also like how he advises you hold a woman by her wrist or the back of her neck - like she's gonna get lost or something. Although considering how he advises you choose an girl who isn't mature or independent or strong maybe that's a real problem.
Also - eye contact, a sign a girl likes you? Whaaa...?
He sounds like an abusive Dick who wouldn't understand what 'no' means. I spent the whole time reading it sure that no real person could believe such bollocks and it must've been written by a troll.