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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

OAP home allows residents to book sex workers

261 replies

Charlezee · 29/01/2013 01:43

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4767106/investigation-into-nursing-home-for-allowing-prostitutes.html

What do you think?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:59

You are, of course, welcome to think what you like about my naivety or otherwise, but I am fairly sure that the risks of working the way I would are small enough to be taken. I could be hit by a runaway bus next time I go out in the car, there are loads of risks in life and even staying in bed all day isn't without risk.

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:58

Sorry the debate was so dull for you, Leith . After all, prostitution is at the heart of this debate.

Is your question about people who are paying for sex or not?

Leithlurker · 30/01/2013 21:54

So getting back to the op and away from the ad nausea debate on prostitution, old people having sex that is supplied by someone who is not doing it for love or from people in any kind of relationship with the old person at all.

Is there an issue with that?

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:54

"The risks of being raped/beaten up are very, very small in the indoor-working scene" - mm, really? Do you think so?

I think your attitude is really dangerous to be honest. And quite naive.

Why would society ridicule you? Well, feminists wouldn't, so maybe you're better hedging your bets with us.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:50

Ridiculed by society; wouldn't happen if I were discreet about it. I'm not proposing hanging out in RLDs.

(And then there's the issue of why society would ridicule me, perhaps because sex workers are routinely presented as drug addicts, pimped, abused, and incapable of making their own choices? Why would society ridicule a victim?)

The risks of being raped/beaten up are very, very small in the indoor-working scene, and as I would work for myself (no pimp, agency or brothel) I could refuse any client I didn't like the sound of.

Yes, I've thought about it, I've read about it, I know the up to date facts.

But I'm very happy where I am. :)

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:39

Really? And the fact that you're very likely to be raped/beaten up/ridiculed by society and generally treated like shit doesn't put you off?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:36

Though I would probably have had a bigger market 30 years ago. One could still make money at any age, any shape, though.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:35

Yes.

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:34

Would you do it, OldLady ?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:32

Selling sex doesn't deprive you of anything, though, especially not an organ.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 30/01/2013 21:30

OMC I find the examples you give interesting because they highlight to me the problems with consent that are encountered when money enters the equation - basically you end up with a load of desperately poor people who feel it's their only option. There are striking parallels with prostitution.

From The Guardian - Kidneys for sale: poor Iranians compete to sell their organs ...

In order to advertise her kidney, Marzieh has written her blood type and her phone number on pieces of paper and has posted them along the street close to several of Tehran's major hospitals, home to the country's major kidney transplant centres.

Others have done the same. Some have written in big letters or in bright colours to attract attention; some have sprayed their information on the walls of public or even private properties.

"Kidney for sale," reads one ad, carrying the donor's blood type, O+, and a mobile number, with a note emphasising "urgent", insinuating that the donor is prepared to consider discounts.

From this rather good blog article by a living kidney donor ...

If one is only concerned about would-be recipients, or one benefits from organ transplants, then a kidney market is something to consider. But if one believes that all people deserve equal consideration, then harvesting a major organ from a living person in return for money or other incentives is not acceptable. Pragmatically, there is simply no way to control for abuses and manipulations.

As JustAHolyFool points out, people who have real choice don't tend to sell sex, just as they don't tend to sell their kidneys.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:30

But the men are simpley responding to an offer of sex for sale, by an adult, with full bodily-autonomy. And they pay well for it. I can't see that earning/paying probably £50 for 30 minutes, £100 an hour is exploitation.

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:25

I'm not saying they CAN'T choose to do that. They can and I don't judge them for it. Yes, they are grown adults, I don't think anyone's disputing that. I can see why it is a choice for some women.

My problem doesn't lie with the women. It lies with the men who choose to exploit women.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:19

Did you read Dr Jenkins' work? The people she spoke to were quite insistent that they had chosen to do it, and most had no immediate plans to stop. Since these were all grown adults, I'm inclined to think that if that's what they choose to do, and it is after all legal, it's none of my business.

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 21:14

What's your point, OldLady ? You can nitpick, if you like, but we both know that you don't get a hell of a lot of people with choices in prostitution.

fluffy I don't judge prostitutes, but I do judge the men who buy sex from them.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 21:03

Do you spend a lot of time hanging out in RLDs, looking for your old pals? Only the main sex-for-sale scene these days is online.

fluffygal · 30/01/2013 21:00

God I never said I agree with it, but there's plenty of people I see every day who make unwise choices. I do not have the right to judge or the power to tell them what to do.

JustAHolyFool · 30/01/2013 20:51

Oh well, that's ok then, if they choose to do it. It's fine to exploit someone as long as they have no other options.

OneMoreChap I think you're really talking about too many issues in one. I don't think it's ok to sell kidneys or bone marrow or anything else. I also don't think it's ok to sell sex. Yes, some women do it out of "choice" but it's a very narrowly defined choice: I notice that none of my university-educated friends are hanging around in red light districts getting paid to have sex.

It is very easy to say "oh but how is sex different to selling anything else?" Well if it's the same, why don't people who have real choice to do it? Maybe when we get to a point where men and women are actually equal and where men don't abuse women on such a regular basis, sexwork will become a legitimate way to make money.

If people are so happy to defend it, I wonder if they'd be happy if their daughter, wife, aunt, mother or cousin was doing it?

badgeroncaffeine · 30/01/2013 20:51

Not a problem, I'm always happy to help.

SPBInDisguise · 30/01/2013 20:49

Oh well thanks for clearing that up for me.

badgeroncaffeine · 30/01/2013 20:48

You are confused because you are used to seeing the same old nonsense trotted out...
And generalising is not sensible. In this case it certainly isn't a "bad thing" at all.

SPBInDisguise · 30/01/2013 20:44

Very true. Just confused I suppose. I think paying for sex is a bad thing in general.

badgeroncaffeine · 30/01/2013 20:43

It is OK to buy sex from someone who is selling it. Simple as.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 30/01/2013 20:40

How could the Op anticipate the responses?

SPBInDisguise · 30/01/2013 20:34

Why is this in the feminism section when the consensus seems to be its ok to buy sex?