Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 13 14

Original poster

Been out. It's not pretty out there. My feminist views are challenged tonight.

345 replies

dummad · 27/01/2013 01:22

Hello, just a quickie coz I'm a bit drunk.

I've been out tonight in a bar in town - a trendy bar. Getting to the point, I'm disappointed ladies. I'm disappointed in what I've seen. Why do young women stand around dressed up like a dog's dinners looking bored out of their minds out of choice? I'm trying very hard not to think it, but I'm on the slippery slope of thinking women don't help themselves be taken seriously when they portray themselves the way they do. I know it's about choice and whatnot, but why CHOOSE to look like little fuck toys if you don't have to? Sorry. I just find it difficult to fly the feminist flag after what I've seen tonight. It's like young women don't give a flying toss about being empowered. They all look the same - tarty, vacuous and vacant. ALL of them. Hundreds of them. There wasn't one young lady in the place tonight without a horrendously short skirt on and killer heals. One group got out of the taxi and had garters tattood around her upper thigh. The men in the queue outside hardly batted an eyelid but one was there making sort of animal gestures to them like he was in a zoo. Maybe that's the sort of reaction these girls wanted.

In the bar guys couldn't even be bothered to approach the women by the looks of it. For two hours we were in there and I didn't see any notable, interaction between the sexes. Of course you'll never get a guy complaining about the way the girls look - they just lap it all up from a distance - it's all just laid out for them and saves the entry fee into the local lap dancing club I guess. They don't give a shit. Sluttier the better in their view. Why the hell don't women today backlash against it? I'd understand if it were a few of them like that but it was all of them. I'm sure they're intelligent, well bought up girls as well. So can't blame it on ignorance/ upbringing or whatever. They are a fucking disgrace.

You know what - I want you to put me right. I want you to tell me I'm wrong and there is hope and that women are aspiring for empowerment and campaign that they are respected as equals. It's up to them isn't it? They are the next generation after all. Don't they honestly care about their place in society? Don't they want to improve things like misrepresentation in the media and violence against women and lower wages etc? Don't they want to be taken seriously? Is this what has happened when women are contented? Is this what we choose to be by default? If so, it's no wonder men look down on us.

OP posts:

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 28/01/2013 18:01

"I firmly believe women are the only ones who need to change gender roles and stereotyping."

FreyaSnow · 28/01/2013 17:44

The outfits weren't outrageous to the people wearing them, as far as we know.

2 The women weren't trying to be noticed, as far as we know.

The whole basis of your argument throughout the whole thread is that you can work out the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others from their clothes. You can't.

Original poster

dummad · 28/01/2013 17:33

Well it's good to have heard the other side of the story at least, and what I've learnt is that really you don't give a toss what people think and no one can really argue with that.

Obviously there are always going to be women who feel pressured into dressing this way who may just be doing it to conform because it is just normalised behaviour for this age group. And that's a big worry. Then there's the knock on effect it has to impressionable youngsters who just want to be like their older sisters etc and I think that is dangerous. In a recent project one blogger interviewed girls asking the question 'what does it mean to be a woman?'. The overiding answer was that it was to wear high heels/make up/look pretty. That's gotta change surely?

I firmly believe women are the only ones who need to change gender roles and stereotyping. It's not good enough to say 'well here I am like it or lump it I'm not going to alter' and then expect things to change for the better. But I also think I was a bit narrow minded to think the problem lies with those just having a bit of fun on a Saturday night in town. And I can see after reading some of your posts that it probably is quite exciting to get dressed up in an outrageous outfit and not care what anyone thinks. But I also think it's a bit predictable and wish young women would do something radically different to get noticed rather than just get their tits out.

I don't want to tell anyone what to do, and maybe I was ranting and focusing in the wrong place. But it was good to have it out nonetheless.

OP posts:

TheCatInTheHairnet · 28/01/2013 00:45

F**k. I really am old. I'm quoting my last dating experiences. EIGHTEEN years ago. Siiiiigggh.

Mitchy1nge · 28/01/2013 00:44

aaargh!

TheCatInTheHairnet · 28/01/2013 00:43

I know it's a crime, but I haven't read the whole thread at all. However, surely it's only the clothes that are the fashion right now. I remember 18 years ago, that it was de rigeur to look a bit bored and disinterested. Wasn't that half the point?!! And my skirt was short too.

Booyhoo · 28/01/2013 00:43

because she can

LineRunner · 28/01/2013 00:43

Have you sprained it, perhaps? Unless you are planning to ride a massive horse that has been cooped up for ages, or something equally crazy, you'll be fine.

Mitchy1nge · 28/01/2013 00:39

now am worried that if I take my injured wrist to the doctor she will sniff my fingers, even though I hardly ever use that hand

but why would she?

Booyhoo · 28/01/2013 00:35

Mitchy1nge · 28/01/2013 00:24

Booyhoo · 28/01/2013 00:15

cat wee? yes.
wrist? no i know what's wrong with it

Narked · 27/01/2013 23:52

They just don't have enough socks.

EldritchCleavage · 27/01/2013 23:48

What's depressing is to read a thread in Feminism/women's rights where the ENTIRE onus for redressing the current awful state of society/gender relations/women's position in society is put on young women.

Mitchy1nge · 27/01/2013 23:44

are you also thinking 'why does the whole house smell of cat wee'? And wondering what exactly is wrong with your left wrist?

Mitchy1nge · 27/01/2013 23:42

THINKING

Mitchy1nge · 27/01/2013 23:42

I was just hiking that! I was!

Booyhoo · 27/01/2013 23:40

even the title of this thread pisses me off.

"been out. it's not pretty out there"

who the fuck says it should be?

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 27/01/2013 23:09

Lurcio I know the feeling. I spent half a season wearing a pair of shorts that were so long and voluminous I looked like time traveller from 1890s football.

LurcioLovesFrankie · 27/01/2013 22:45

Saskia . I have worn shirts that came so far down my legs (I am 5'3") that they would have passed even the OP's exacting standards for modesty of attire. Oh, and fuckadoodle is spot on in her assessment.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 27/01/2013 22:38

"footy kit is always baggy, because it is always purchased to accommodate the largest member of the team"

This ^ is true.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 27/01/2013 22:35

The op of this thread disturbs me. I thought feminism was about having freedom and choices, not judging other women for theirs.

I think its disgusting to say that a woman is dressed to pull and then slag her off for not being successful!

You're not a feminist op!

LurcioLovesFrankie · 27/01/2013 21:48

Lapsed, you are taking me back to happy nights out on the piss with the rest of the women's footy team in my grad student days (chorus of "Why was she born so beautiful, ...?" - which, incidentally, appears to be sung in footy circles about members of either gender, personal pronouns suitably changed). I seem to remember all of us perched on a table in a bar attempting a mass karaoke to "Bohemian Rhapsody", largely conducted on one note. It is amazing the table survived. Usually these nights did take place in killer heels and skimpy dresses (I think we saw it as a refreshing change from studs, shinpads and baggy kit -footy kit is always baggy, because it is always purchased to accommodate the largest member of the team).

And what's wrong with one-night stands if that's what floats your boat? If only I was still young enough to have any change of getting one ... .

LapsedPacifist · 27/01/2013 21:30

Well, I too was a teenager back in the 70s and I have just one thing to say to you young gels.

It has ALWAYS GORN ORN. Yes! Gels going out wearing v.v. little and flashing their flesh at the lads. For fun! .

I am a mature student, go out on the piss with my classmates sometimes, and have noticed that when out in a mixed group the girls usually wear jeans or leggings, boots and minimal makeup. When hunting in a pack it's a girl gang night they wear next to nothing, tons of slap, hair extensions and skyscraper heels ( NOT BLOODY 'HEALS' DAMMIT!) so high they have to totter down the street holding each other up whilst peeing themselves laughing. They seem to fall over quite a lot too. And they have a fantastic time together. It's not about pulling blokes.

Booyhoo · 27/01/2013 21:07

red. do you know what your point is?

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 13 14