Chat thread - come chat, rant, or celebrate, here!

Just got an email entitled, "Women are still clamouring to be bankers"

Trills- Perhaps you are right. On second reading it sounds a bit like she's projecting her thoughts on the questions not asked by "the girls". I wonder what her profession is... Is she supposed to be well-known?

Is the idea of "pricing yourself out of a market" uncommon? I last heard it about 5 years ago, said about a female cousin pursuing a higher degree. No one ever said anything to me when I went for a postgrad degree. But then I'm a bit scary ... I live in hope that this attitude is so five-years-ago so was a bit disappointed to come across this article. Also it could be that this is the attitude held by "the older generation" and "the girls" are not thinking like that any more? >

Uptoapoint - your link only shows that one person thinks that having a husband is pretty important, not that having a husband is pretty important.

In fact it could be read the other way - if everyone agreed that "bagging a man" was important then she would not have felt the need to tell them to do it, and nobody would have reported on it if she had.

Grr, Stella article on Jennifer Garner, all fine until it started describing how her stalker had a court order to stay away from "the Afflecks" for ten years.

Hello!

Saw this on a friend's fb feed: Princeton alumna warns female students to find a husband soon. I'm a bit speechless about it... It seems that having a husband is still pretty important, Princeton or not.

Aww!

Thanks I know I'm banging on about him, but have been ill the last few days, he came over last night and I felt absolutely rubbish and what dd he do? Stroked my hair and cuddled me to sleep then fetched me a glass of water in the middle of the night cos I was really hot and couldn't sleep

No moaning, no trying it on, no huffing, no telling me tat it's mind over matter and that I just need to pull myself together, no sulking and demanding to know why I don't want to sleep with him. Just absolute kindness and caring.

Daffodil - are there any anti-harassment regulations you can throw at HR? Not the boss, since he probably doesn't understand, but HR is supposed to know such things. (Hollow laughter.) Sorry I can't help. I'm only going on the work diversity and equality training thing in a few months - due to being part-time and not having a session that fits in my time! It's a bit funny. But it was never very high on my agenda, perhaps wrongly. I sometimes feel I'm quite diverse enough myself.

And thanks Doctrine!

EduCated - good to hear about good new relationship!

It really is, and I wouldn't even go so far as to say I was in an abusive relationship, but I think it was a narrow escape and I got out at the right time. Everything sounds much worse when it's written down. But then maybe that's just because when its written down I can't minimise it?

I always remember tickling him the one day and he stamped on my foot in retaliation. Was so shocked that he couldn't see why that was wrong or why I was upset by it and just kept laughing and telling me I was overreacting

Here you go LordCopper.. Twitter feminists by interest area

docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub?hl=en_US&hl=en_US&key=0AnBu5Vrdr86gdHRUVE12eWE1dER4NndrM2xMRDliUUE&output=html

I am keeping everything. Thankfully he is a disorganised misogynist. I put in a complaint to HR about 18 months ago which basically fizzled out because I went on maternity leave. He wasn't my boss at the time and he offered another job to a member of my team without even discussing with me and explicitly told him not to talk to me about it.

One of many things. Really there are just loads of things. HR have so far kept bouncing it back saying it is an internal department problem and to confront him etc etc. easier said than done when he is a bully. He isolated my team member and made it impossible for me to confront him without exposing the fact that my team member had spoken to me, which would have got him into trouble with said manager. Next time I complain I will have all the evidence lined up, all the i's dotted and the t's crossed. I will have already had the meetings with him about things I am unhappy with and I will see it through. The problem is there are so many things that I could complain about, where do you stop? I could end up looking like a bloody stalker or something (or a bully myself, because as we know abusive people are very good at turning the tables).

And the way he talks about his wife .

Educated it is a breath of fresh air isn't it after you have been in an abusive relationship. I remember thinking with my partner how lovely it was he wanted to hear about my day. And how he put himself out to help me.

Oh for fecks sake.

The more time I spend with him, the more I look back and see the red flags in my previous relationship. He is kind, funny and I feel truly, truly respected by him. Unlike my ex who told me he thought it was fine to be a dick to me because he was jealous of me then had a tantrum because I hadn't shaved my legs for a few days

That's really shit

Just to counter, I'm in a new relationship But the more time I s

Daffodil - can you record all these and take it higher?

Oh they are loons .

Can I just put down in black and white that my boss is a bully and a misogynist? Not in an overt way either in an abusive, gaslighting, sidelining way where he just has to dismiss your technical input or not even ask for it when appropriate. But of course it is all reasonable. Each individual incident is reasonable. Except of course the rewriting of history and meeting outcomes. That's not so reasonable. Or the fact that every woman in the office has felt bullied by him. Or that each individual incident has shaped into a pattern now. He is an incompetent fool.

There, feel better now

A spread sheet!? My worst nightmare.

There's a good twitter feminist spread sheet somewhere. LordC

I've never been on Twitter. Not sure I dare to...

Have you seen the #safetytipsforladies hash tag knocking about on Twitter at the moment? Brilliant but awful all in one.

I do make regular typos as well, but it's the "replace with another actual word" ones that are most interesting -- it's like my fingers have a set of "known patterns" and just do one set instead of the other.

Yes I've only heard of Hedy Lamarr as an actress

I saw a Tree Fu Tom episode that passed the Bechdel Test

"Lamarr wanted to join the National Inventors Council, but was reportedly told by NIC member Charles F. Kettering and others that she could better help the war effort by using her celebrity status to sell War Bonds."

Could she not have done both!? A woman with brains like that.