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Original poster

Would you let your daughter take part in a hobby/activity you 'disapproved' of, from a more feminist angle?

79 replies

NellyBluth · 22/01/2013 13:12

Of all things, i started thinking about this when watching Got to Dance on Sky Blush

The other day an episode focused on several competitors who dance what I think is called Freestyle Disco. There seems to be a very specific look for these particular dancers, one that I actually felt quite uneasy about, as a mum. The girls were all heavily fake tanned, wearing almost beauty queen levels of make-up and false eyelashes, and their costumes were extremely tight, sparkly and extravagant. There's an old article from The Sun about it I've just found here if you haven't seen these costumes before. Now I know that a lot of dancers will wear revealing costumes because you need to see their body move, but there was something about these particular outfits and the need to wear make-up, tans etc that doesn't sit quite right with me. It reminds me of child beauty pageants, which also make me a feel a bit uneasy.

Yet I believe freestyle disco is a pretty common form of dance for young girls to learn, and it started me thinking. My DD is only 1 so I have no idea what hobbies or sports she will be interested in, but it could be dance. And she might really love freestyle disco. And then she might want to compete, and would 'need' these outfits that I basically disapprove of, she might 'need' fake tans and false eyelashes and all that at a very young age. But could I actually stop my daughter doing something she loved because of that?

What do other people think? This applies just as much to boys taking part in more traditionally feminine hobbies too, I know, but I know I was thinking specifically about what to me seems an unnecessary sexualisation of a dance style that is more popular with girls. Would you let your feelings stop your daughter taking part in a hobby she loved?

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 22/01/2013 13:31

I wouldn't stop her doing the hobby at all, but I certainly would stop her conforming to a prevailing aesthetic if I disapproved of it. It would be good to reclaim a perfectly harmless, even beneficial hobby from The Pornification Of Nearly Everything (not that I would get on my soapbox with DD necessarily).

alarkaspree · 22/01/2013 13:31

Depends what age you were thinking that your dd might want to take this up. I have an 8 year old dd and she only does activities that I want her to do. I'm pretty sure that goes for all her friends too.

As long as she's expecting you to pay for lessons/equipment, you can always say no. And you wouldn't be weird. Those girls in the Sun article are doing it because their mums want them to.

BranchingOut · 22/01/2013 13:20

Probably not, because she, like everyone else around her, is subject to social conditioning which is telling her to use these products/dress this way.

BUT, I would probably have age-appropriate conversations about whether the tan/eyelashes were really needed.

Sparkly and extravagant costumes I don't see anything wrong with - diamante is just fun! - but I would not be keen on her wearing anything revealing or sexualised.

I am vaguely thinking of taking up ice-skating. If I were ever to compete in an ice-skating event then I would probably wear an ice-skating dress. But it would only reveal what I would want to reveal!

HeathRobinson · 22/01/2013 13:19

I've never heard of it.
And there's no way I'd do it.