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Original poster

Ladies, don't go out alone at night

58 replies

GotMyGoat · 19/01/2013 20:04

There was an attempted rape in my town in the early hours of the morning, in a park. All terryfying and awful.

But I'm feeling REALLY uncomfortable about the local response, in the media and on local facebook sites the message is "Ladies, don't go out alone at night". Which in my mind is victim blaming, and makes me feel controlled and limited. I wouldn't mind if he message was "People, watch out". Dh understands i think, but is it unreasonable of me to push away all the menz warning me to stay safe indoors?

OP posts:
Original poster
GotMyGoat · 19/01/2013 20:36

Bigstick - you should also be counselling your son too! This is my problem, can't we warn everyone that there is a dangerous rapist about? i'm not sure i've ever heard media warnings aimed only at men.

OP posts:
BigStickBIWI · 19/01/2013 20:30

... and if I had a daughter, I would certainly be counselling her to be careful, etc

Original poster
GotMyGoat · 19/01/2013 20:21

DameMargot, i'm in Banbury, Oxfordshire. There's a description floating around - white male wearing a baseball cap, so not much hope there. I live very close to where it happened, its my local park.

OP posts:
Original poster
GotMyGoat · 19/01/2013 20:17

Bigstick - I think I understand, logically it makes sense not to go out alone late at night, it's how we've all been bought up, but then I thought about how it's fine for my husband to walk through town at 3am after a night out (rare, btw!) he doesn't worry about getting raped, and No one else worries for him.

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DameMargotFountain · 19/01/2013 20:15

have you suggested the same poster/awareness campaign to catch the rapist?

or is that wrong, to ask people to be suspicious of a 'loved' one?

where abouts are you OP, i'd be happy to go on a 'reclaim the night' march if close enough

Original poster
GotMyGoat · 19/01/2013 20:13

I have never heard of this - it sounds like a fantastic idea. Are there any towns it has been done in well before? We live in a reasonably safe town, mostly idiot teenager crimes. I don't want to have a curfew.

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BigStickBIWI · 19/01/2013 20:12

I am very conflicted on this issue. I agree, absolutely 100% that women should be free to go where they want and wear what they want. However, in a situation like this, where you don't know where the rapist was/what the circumstances were, I think a little more caution is probably not a bad idea.

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 19/01/2013 20:10

A local take back the night march in solidarity with the victim might not go amiss.