Should we be sharing wages equally, or keeping them seperate??

3 current accounts

One joint - you agree how much money this needs to have in it - pays for rent and bills and food and everything to do with the house and children (include things like insurance here). You both have full access and visibility.

Two separate ones: one each. Your wages get paid into here then you transfer enough into the joint account each month to cover what the joint account needs, in a way that leaves you both with equal amounts of spending money. You don't have access to each other's accounts and you don't get to comment or judge how the other spends their spending money.

You can also discuss savings etc but that's the main thing.

You are a team you both deserve to have the same amount of money to spend. Especially if you have children, when one of you will likely (directly or indirectly) give up some of their chance of higher earnings in order to do child-related stuff (even if you don't go part time, with children you can't both work as many hours and be on-call as much as you might do otherwise).

I think his attitude isn't quite right. Marriage is a team effort. The law will regard all your assets and debts as joint anyway does he understand that?
Personally I don't see how you can have children and not share all income. The financial abuse of women seems to happen when the earning partner dishes out pocket money rather than seeing income as shared.
I have been the higher earner whilst dh was sahp and am now Sahp whilst he works. At all points dh and I have shared our money and it just goes straight into joint account nobody thinks of it as theirs.

I think it depends, if you're living as single people sharing a house (even though you're having a relationship, if that makes sense - I don't mean single in that way) then having separate resources which are different with what you each earn makes sense IMO, and you would be unreasonable to ask him to split it. Look at how it would feel if it was the other way around and he suggested it, especially if you'd done more work, either networking/experience/qualifications etc to get to your position (I don't know if this is the case in your situation now, I'm not implying that it is!)

However, if you're getting married, it sounds like it's a bit more serious? I think it would make sense to pool your resources, because you're effectively becoming a family unit, presumably planning for the future together, with the wedding, maybe planning for a mortgage or children or just saving in case anything goes wrong or for a holiday fund or whatever. Unless you're earning less because you really can't be bothered to push yourself for no good reason (and there can be good reasons for staying in a low paid job) then he should understand that careers move at different rates and just because he's earning more than you at the moment, doesn't mean you won't maybe earn more in the future. Plus like you say it needs discussing before you have DC (even if you discuss in a "not now but later" way) because if you take time off to be with the DC then your earnings will be affected and you don't want to be stuck with a miserly partner who insists that the family money is "his" because "he" earnt it.

It's hard to tell if he is being selfish/tight or whether he just hasn't really thought about what it means to be married and to share your lives in that way, since the separate finances thing does make sense when you're more of a casual couple than a serious one. For DP and I we've always shared our money, not to the point of having a joint account and taking equal amounts out, but when a bill came up etc then the person who had the most spare would pay it, we'd lend each other money to help us through a rough patch etc. It was never an issue and it never felt like DP was "taking" my money or that I was "taking" his - it was just kind of fluid and whoever had it helped out and whoever was skint got helped out etc. So in our case the sharing/pooling of resources was there from the beginning. But I think you'll learn a lot about your DP's attitude by talking to him about what he expects for the future etc.

I wouldn't marry him until this was resolved. The fact he believes that you're "trying to take his money" is really really worrying. It shows that he doesn't see you as a unit, but as two separate people. Worse, he doesn't trust you. That is very serious. What happens if you lose your job, or go on maternity leave, or want to be a SAHM?

Personally I find it odd when a couple don't share their money but as long as it's fair and both are ok with it, then good luck to them. The issue here is that you're not ok with it, and your fiance would rather treat you like a greedy moneygrabber than as a partner that he's about to share the rest of his life with.