dd (8) has been invited to a birthday party.....

Maybe see if there is a women's league football match or sporting event on the day somewhere near? That would be a brilliant alternative, don't let her feel left out but don't let her near those horrible people. Don't feel guilty about it either, you wouldn't let her go to a party where racism was the theme of the event so you shouldn't feel bad about not letting her go to a party where sexism is the theme either.

Double at "innocent fun".

all because they were dumb enough to video themselves admitting to it too

yy kritq

Op, please don't let your dd go! I wouldn't even tell her why tbh as I think it will make her resentful to your beliefs...just say you have something else planned for the day (and take her to do something awesome instead). I wouldn't discuss it with the parents as I think it will get back to your daughter and anyone thinks little girls dressing as WAGs won't get your stance EVER.

Sorry, I wanted to clarify that I don't personally view sports men or their wives and girlfriends in the terms I used in the 5th paragraph above. What I meant are that these are characteristics that are assigned to these two groups respectively by our society and within "celebrity culture."

I thought Pirates and Princesses was bad enough, but this? OMFG! What next, Vicars and Tarts? Pimps and Ho's?

Like Piccadilly, the footballers and WAGs "culture" is definitely a British thing. They lionise sportsmen in America, but in a different way, if that makes sense. Sexualisation of children however - now that's increasingly common in both countries.

If it were just a "come as your favourite footballer," then that would still be tilted towards the boys, who are more likely to be encouraged to have an interest in football, but at least not be sexualised. Come as your favourite sports personality would be brilliant with all the wee Bradley Wiggins and Jessica Ennises, David Beckhams and Tanni Grey Thompsons running about! :)

But, this? I just can't imagine how to deal with this tactfully. Frankly, I'd not want to have anything to do with it, say DD won't be coming and explain why. But, that's hardly fair to her to not be able to join in with her friends. She could dress as a footballer, but quite likely would be teased by the other children for not conforming to the "gender dress code."

Even if she isn't teased, she'll see boys dressed in the role of skilled, well paid, high status sports personalities and girls dressed as sexualised, passive, shallow people who only have a purpose because of their relationship to those all important footballers. Okay, an 8 year old probably won't have that kind of deep understanding of the phenomenon, but she and all the other kids there will hardly be able to avoid the smash-you-round-the-head message of how boys are supposed to be and girls are supposed to be.

In a work related capacity, I was speaking with a psychosexual therapist today who sadly confirmed how exposure to these and other sexualised messages in childhood have a very negative impact on the sense of self, on behaviour and the capacity to form relationships. Interestingly, she said the most crucial age seems to be about 8 :(

Mine aren't that age group yet either.. I am not actually talking about the children though I am talking about the adults (although obviously the adults will have filtered their ideas to their children)

I think someone who see having a footballers and wags party for children as OK has a very clear idea of gender roles. I imagine that the Op's daughter would be subject to comments about how pretty the other girl's outfits were..why was the op's daughter not dressed pretty.. aren't the boys cool,sporty, also as WAGS are totally dependent on sex for status I can see inappropriate comments jokes about the kids dating etc. As soon as the op's daughter has had to endure a party's worth of gender stereotyping and feel uncomfortable about it.. you can't undo that can you? And you really can't undo that she has also spent a party's worth of time watching the other girl's prance and preen around for praise.

Really Piccadilly? Would you get a bad response sending your daughter in as a footballer to a football and WAGs party at age 8? Mine aren't that age group yet, but from friends with older children I don't think that they would in most places I know. Plenty of their daughters have been to parties as the 'boy' option.

We have got Mob wives though...

which might make for a very interesting party

The WAG phenom is a very British thing

I wouldn't let my daughter (or son) anywhere near that party or those kind of people. Fuck sending her in as a footballer, imagine the response she will get and that's shit you can't undo.

CajaDeLaMemoria We don't say WAG in America?

Snow. Possibly, but if you do a Google image search of wag its loads of pics in underwear, naked for lads mags, boobs out, tons of black eye makeup etc.

What are the girls supposed to wear? Its like having a pirate party but saying that to wear an eye patch or parrot is a stereotype, so what would they wear instead but still be recognised as a pirate?

What clothes can they wear so that they are recognizable as a wag? Dungerees? No. Something tame? No. What?

Its the image that a huge amount of wags have unfortunately. Im not going to pretend that they have a completely different image to the one they do just so that i appear pc.

Crazy isn't it Amanda ? The girls loved it!

Good Dew - they would at our pirate party too and glad to hear you are fighting the good fight ! However, I have heard mothers worrying what a girl could wear to such a party

Well the outfits are usually pretty revealing, shit loads of makeup and shoes they can't walk in.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I am so shocked.

btw at our pirate party everyone dressed up as pirates, girls, boys, even a few mums, dads...

It is revolting.

I could kind of see how, if you were deep in denial about sexism and the patriarchy, a boy's mother could come up with that theme. "Shit, DS wants a footballer party. Not all the girls will like that, what can they do?" It's how you end up with crap like pirates and princesses a lot of the time too. The fact that it was a girl's mother makes it even worse - the little girl is the appendage at her own party.

Vile, just vile.

Ewwww that's gross. So the boys get to go as somebody who is successful through hard work and talent (whatever your opinion of football!), and the girls get to go as somebody who is famous just for being pretty and bagging a rich partner

If my DD (5) was invited to that sort of thing she would probably stick on her Chelsea kit damn DH with his brainwashing but then I have also rolled my eyes at two pamper/makeover 6th birthday parties.

Incidentally on the pirate/princess thing, my friend is a reception teacher and was supposed to do a pirate/princess theme as a short topic. She quietly dropped the princess half of it this year. The girls loved being pirates.

Pictish. Well the outfits are usually pretty revealing, shit loads of makeup and shoes they can't walk in. Im not an expert either but i think an 8 year old trying to dress like one is going to look so wrong! Way too sexualised, way too skimpy clothes. Its just wrong.

Guess that's the end of the Olympics legacy then ?

Find a fluffy pup outfit and go as Wag the dog ?

Sounds appalling, I'd have no issue with turning down that invitation - can you imagine the sort of party games that might go with that theme?

That said my two are going to a princess party in a couple of weeks, both DD and DS have opted to dress as pirates/knights!

I totally agree with turning the stereotype on its head.
I don't really consider myself a feminist or not, but my dd would be going as a footballer.
To me it is another example of sexualising our dds and a bit sickening really.