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Original poster

AIBU to just not want to argue with men anymore?

30 replies

PiccadillyCervix · 08/01/2013 15:12

I'm fed up. All over the real world all over the internet, I got an earful from two twats on my friend's facebook page yesterday.She made the mistake of posting a picture that said women should not be any man's "waste of time" or something to that effect. Totally uncontroversial but apparently she is being sexist and it is equally important for men to know their own dignity and not be abused by women etc etc..and I just thought fuck off. I got in to it with both of them at first and then I was like why am I wasting my breath? They don't get it they never will, and the fact that upsets them means they want women to continue to know their place. So I blocked them. Should I keep arguing?

I just can't imagine seeing a little picture that says people of color should understand their worth and jumping all over it and being like white people have it bad too! It's obvious that being white comes with a privilege in my country and that I should be happy when other people are happy and feel good about themselves. I wish I could start a world wide public service campaign that says women, minorities, people with disabilities are just people and by trying to improve their lot in life it does not reduce your lot in life.

OP posts:
hellsbells76 · 08/01/2013 19:36

Yes. I completely get what you mean. It's especially disheartening when this sort of crap comes from men you normally quite like and respect: makes you realise how deep that ingrained sexism and make privilege goes. I sometimes think I'd be happier just turning the internet off completely but that genie's out of the bottle now (and that same internet is at least partly responsible for me becoming much more clued up on these things so I suppose that's something to hang onto).

Blistory · 08/01/2013 19:26

Sadly, I'm rapidly coming to that point with women too. All the excuses for porn, abuse, rape, infantalising men. I get it, I really do, that it can be difficult to see it for what it is, but honestly, when it's pointed out time and time again, it's frustrating.

I can just about see how men don't really have to think about their position given how insulated they are by male privilige but to have that insulation provided by women themselves, it's like some grotesque parody.

Men, I just can't be arsed with if they're of that type but there has to be a better way to help women see things how they really are.

Not woman blaming - just depressed after a thread involving the use of porn.

JustAHolyFool · 08/01/2013 17:09

Totally agree with you, I just can't be arsed any more.

AmandaPayne · 08/01/2013 15:54

Honestly? I think arguing about anything on Facebook is an utter waste of time. I just have family and 'proper' friends, and we post general stuff about what we are up to - first day at school photo, holiday snaps, that kind of thing.

Even when people post more political stuff, I don't think people on Facebook are actually up for a discussion or to be persuaded of anything. Generally they are just posting inane comments, re-sharing rubbish or showing off. I just ignore any rubbish that does make its way onto my timeline.

I thin you are far better off working on the little things with people you truly know, or at least are talking to face to face. I posted on a recent thread how I asked a friend why she was assuming childcare had be weighed against her salary when both parents wanted to work (she was feeling guilty about how little she was working for). I think things like that can stay with people. I try and pick up on the things like gender stereotyping, etc on a day to day basis, and save the major discussions for either forums like this, people I know will be receptive, or at the very least those who are actively up for a proper debate.

It's frustrating though, I know. I have recently moved house and I am finding it really hard to find like minded friends, so am feeling particularly low right now.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/01/2013 15:31

No, don't keep arguing if you don't want to. It's not your god-given responsibility to explain things to people who're busy not listening.

You're right, it's perfectly possible to see someone talking about one group of people and not start jumping up and down whining that they've ignored others.