How do I tackle this toy issue without offending?

26 replies

PaellaUmbrella · 07/01/2013 11:56

I wasn't sure where to post this, but I know many people in this section feel the same as I do about pink toys for girls, so hope this is the right place.

DD is 21 months old. I have long been interested in the pink stinks campaign and since having DD, have always made a concerted effort to choose gender neutral toys and baby accessories. I also usually opt for other colours in clothing.

Anyway. The "problem" is with my MIL. When getting anything for DD, she always opts for the pink version. We asked for some mega blocks for DD at Xmas, and she chose the pink ones. There was also a pink car. When DD opens the presents, MIL proudly says things like "Pink for a girl!", "Look, it's your favourite colour - pink!" (DD doesn't have a favourite colour, so this is indoctrination as its finest) or "I chose that pink one especially!"

As it's coming up to DD's second birthday, I feel I want to nip this in the bud, or it's going to be a childhood of pink plastic crap presents I would have preferred she hadn't bought. DH knows exactly where I'm coming from, but how do we broach this with her? We don't want to sound ungrateful, and she's not doing anything differently to the majority of people in this country. I fear that she's not going to understand our reasons behind it at all.

OP posts:

CailinDana · 07/01/2013 13:38

I have grappled with this a bit with my ILs and to be honest I've just let it go. The pink/blue thing annoys me intensely but I understand that the older generation are completely indoctrinated. At the same time, presents are a sensitive subject - criticising a present is quite rude and unnecessary - so the two things combined mean that I think it's not worth broaching. I have spoken to MIL a bit about the pink/blue thing without making any reference to her presents and I think she's sort of got the message. She asked me outright if it was ok to buy pink clothes for my baby girl who is due soon. I said yes because I know how much she's always wanted a girl (she had two boys) and for her buying pink is a huge thrill. Her feelings matter more than the principle in that instance, and I am impressed she asked.

On the plus side, my own mother bought my DS a pink cash register for Christmas. She did ask first if it was ok and of course I said yes, but I am pleased because I honestly would have thought she would never have bought him a "girly" present. I think my own attitude to these things has subtly come across to her in the last two years.

I openly challenge my FIL's ridiculous views but that's because he tries to humiliate DS for pushing a buggy and I absolutely won't have that.

Could you introduce the topic subtly and hope it sinks in?

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