Random men speaking to you

anyhoo.its a ridiculous op, much indignation about fuck all
i have no problem with appropriate banter from either gender
its norm for people blether and chew the fat.i like to,and i have chatty weans too

Let's face it, it can be both lemonmuffin

It's not "attention" Enimmead.

It's just friendly conversation, it's what makes the world go round

and the very fact amillionyears that you thought to post a suggestion specifically because you thought it would get a rise out of me doesn't say much about you as a person.

I have no problem with men speaking to me on a personal level - like I said, any sort of hint that they are trying to chat me up and they get told I'm not interested, any further and I tell them to piss off - but I thought we were discussing this on a societal level. So what I personally may or may not do is irrelevant.

It's not much to do, no. But why the fucking hell should I? I'm just as happy telling them to fuck off.

I would love to live in your world where wearing a wedding ring to put men off is no big deal.

Narked. Yes, if she wants to. The wedding ring alone might do it.
She sounds very bothered often by a lot of men.

Dear me. Person of the opposite sex speaks to you. How utterly dreadful.

So she should wear a fake wedding ring as an obvious sign she's 'taken' or deliberately make herself unattractive? To avoid people propositioning her at a bus-stop?

Didnt think you would like that suggestion much!

But seriously it is not much to do is it?

Really amillionyears ? I should have to PRETEND I'm married in order to not get attention?

I work in a primary school, how do you think I dress? But even if I went out in fishnets and a bra top, I still don't expect men to sleaze on me.

FromEsme
Getting chatted up at bus stops and asked for phone numbers.
Do you ever dress down or wear a fake wedding ring?
Im guessing you dont want to do either of those things.

enimmead "But I just want to walk down the street without some bloke feeling they have the right to suddenly say something to me when they see me".
The trouble with this statement is most people welcome it. So a bloke is never going to know who are the few people who wont appreciate it.

her personal space wasn't invaded,a man fell,probably felt awkward.made comment
she's not said he persisted, it was appropriate in context of what had happened
this js peculiar and a bit sad to demonise male interaction as inappropriate

It's all about invading personal space even if that isn't literally. The workman shouting Cheer up love thinks it is OK to disturb you as you are walking along minding your own business.

Standing in a bus stop can be assumed that if you speak to them you are not greatly interrupting their daily business as they are stopped. It is not unreasonable for it to be a bit boring and providing they aren't doing anything else like reading or listening to iPod or whatever it probably isn't inappropriate. Same for walking along the street in a village or in the country. There aren't many people around, you presumably make eye contact first, so the person you are speaking to is expecting you to be friendly. In that scenario you probably wouldn't holler the street to some random person or stop greet someone who is walking fast with their head down, because that would be an invasion of personal space. I assumed the latter was the kind of interaction the OP was talking about.

what a v odd op,why do you read sinister or peculiar motives in chit chat
people interact,chat and yes both genders swop safe anecdotes
talk about demonizing people or looking to find ulterior motives where none exist

I've found since having a small person with me, I get people talking to me a lot. Mainly women, but occasionally older men. They are generally very polite.

However the first time I went out without my baby to get some fresh air because I was losing the plot pick up some shopping, some random dude approached me when I was looking for the right bus stop in a high street, mumbled something at me, I was a bit as I was still quite sleep deprived (3 weeks after giving birth) and I with a what, sorry. He mumbled again about going to the movies ad I was just like no, sorry, not interested. He then swears at me and walks off. I guess he didn't notice my wedding rings, mothercare bag, boots bag filled with baby paraphernalia

I love talking to strangers. It makes the day much more interesting and sociable. Obviously there are some men who talk to women in a creepy way or just indiscriminately chat up/ cat call every young woman, and clearly that is wrong. And there are times, like late at night alone at a bus stop, where the man should be particularly careful not to make a woman feel threatened. But I would hate men to feel they can never start a conversation with me.

I live in a (large) village. Men and women randomly chat to whoever all the time. My trip to fetch the morning paper is constantly punctuated by "Good morning", "Alright?", "Nice day isn't it", "Bit cold" etc. Man or woman - makes no difference.

As for chatting in bus queues, ticket queues etc. why not? It passes the time. I've met really interesting people in queues .

All this is quite different from the e.g. building site random male to female 'chat' as in 'cheer up love, it may never happen", which is designed to embarrass, intimidate, intrude etc.

Important to realise there is a load of difference between the last comment and the ones in my first paragraph.

Given that people have different experiences, it's not entirely appropriate to make sweeping statements like "random men don't chat to other random men" or "Men speak to young, attractive women. It's fuck all to do with a feeling of community.", though. Men do chat to other random men - we've had several of them here say that they would have expected a brief conversation in the case of the slipping-on-ice incident described by the OP. And as established by the very first post, they do talk to older women.

If we're going to move the conversation on specifically to "Cheer up, it may never happen" remarks (which may be made more by men - anecdotally, I'd imagine so, although I've had them from women as well) or to chatting up by stealth, then fine. But be clear that you're reframing the question, and be aware that as the thread didn't start off about either of those things plenty of other posters will still be discussing the question as framed by the OP.

Locatio, location, location Esme, I live in a very busy part of Edinburgh very many boozers open all day, I am out most days, I have big "fuck me" power chair so not at all invisible, and again your experience is not mine. Nor do I recognise the stereotype of inebriated people that common in the streets.

If however you are talking about evening night time, pubs and clubs in particular or places like taxi ranks or other spots where drunk people would gather then your right.

He's not my husband.

And snorbs honestly, I don't get your post, I don't see where I said something I knew to be untrue. Since I'm now being accused of trolling, I will bow out since this is going nowhere.

Where I live we are all 'love' men as well which rather evens it out. I am a random chatterer and initiate conversations with men and women. Have made friends with all sorts of ages and genders. Am often chatted to, invited one guy round for tea after a random encounter that he initiated. He is a great friend now, prob dhs best friend. I think some interactions are just friendly.

The more patronizing, hostile, ingratiating are easy to spot. Do some men presume lead and ownership of conversations yes but I would prefer a world where more women did the same than one where no one chats.

I can't really see the presumption in either of the interactions cited. Having adapted to my new environment I sometimes use 'love' to children, teens, men, women and my dogs. It isn't always inappropriate.

I am Scottish. Shrug. It is indeed my experience that you get more random pissed conversations in Scotland and therefore not a stereotype in my opinion. It is ALSO a stereotype, but it is also my experience.

Ah, right Esme. So when you said "random men don't talk to random men", it was not that you were simply misinformed, but instead you were making a statement that you positively knew to be untrue, not least because even your own DH admits it happens.

Isn't making statements that you know not to be true simply for the sake of the argument a form of trolling?

. I work in a very public location (though my job usually isn't public facing!), and am always having random people speak to me (or vice versa), both men and women. And see male employees talk randomly to other men and women. All in a spirit of camaraderie/community. Yes, I wouldn't be too chuffed at a random "Hi love", but the ice incident wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.And when I was younger I have had random abuse hurled at me by men about my appearance - dog and ugly